Where did the love go?
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Post Thu, Jun 16 2022, 3:50 pm
amother [ Bergamot ] wrote:
I'm not in that stage yet, just thinking.

I think your relationship was based on the things you were doing when they were younger. At that stage it's you constantly doing for them and feeling needed...

Now they are more independent and you aren't needed the same way you were then. You need to figure out how to build a relationship with this young man in front of you now.

Can you spend time with him? What does he like to do? Can you go bowling with him? Doesn't need to be deep meaningful conversations, just spending time together. Can you eat out with him? Can you cook together for shabbos? You need to connect on a different level now.

I lost my mom when I was 25. I loved her and we had an amazing relationship. One of the things I mourn is not having a very adult relationship with her that my older sibs had. Like she was the best mom to me as a little girl, then as a teen. But at that time she was also trying to raise me and there was a level of discipline and chinuch and teaching involved. I miss spending time with her and shmoozing with her as two adults.

I love this post.

I’m gonna think of something, but honestly he would rather be with his friends than his mom right now!
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Post Thu, Jun 16 2022, 4:39 pm
I can't imagine this happening. My son is almost 12 and so dependent on me. Im assuming your kids are happy good kids. The difficult ones you need to connect to!!
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