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Cons to living OOT?
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amother




OP
 

Post Tue, Jun 21 2022, 9:34 am
Aside from being far from family & less kosher amenities what are the cons to moving OOT?
Specifically, for really small OOT communities (<150 families) but also larger communities.
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amother




Moonstone
 

Post Tue, Jun 21 2022, 9:39 am
Less school choices.
Or if the community is really small, no school choices.
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amother




Midnight
 

Post Tue, Jun 21 2022, 9:49 am
Less services for kids, since most services would be out of pocket unless you send to public school.

Harder to get government help
But I think this is a plus
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dena613




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Jun 21 2022, 9:51 am
Often

Less experienced rabbonim,daas torah
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amother




DarkCyan
 

Post Tue, Jun 21 2022, 9:55 am
if you don't like the shul rabbi or have a falling out with him you are kind of stuck. My dh had an issue with the local beis din and because it's a small community it means that he now doesn't feel comfortable with any of the shul rabbis which led to him stopping going to shul.

less choice in terms of friends both for you and your kids. politics can be a bigger deal because a larger percentage of the community is involved since it's so small.
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amother




Burlywood
 

Post Tue, Jun 21 2022, 10:26 am
Like everyone said
Less school options- high school they may need to dorm
Less services
Less friends options
Less convenience for clothing and food
Less restaurants
There are positives but you asked for cons
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amother




OP
 

Post Tue, Jun 21 2022, 10:31 am
What is the best way to find out if the community has politics?
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amother




Honeysuckle
 

Post Tue, Jun 21 2022, 10:32 am
Every community has politics. The question is what they are about and how much they affect your life. The only way to find out is to speak to someone living there who will be brutally honest.
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amother




Burntblack
 

Post Tue, Jun 21 2022, 10:58 am
Quote:
Less school choices.

I would say this is the most far-reaching.
I live in a small growing OOT community (300-400 families). There is right now basically one school and it is a disaster. If we had somewhere to move that was affordable we'd leave tomorrow
There is talk and talk of opening another school - but you know, someone has to be the Nachshon...
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amother




Springgreen
 

Post Tue, Jun 21 2022, 11:06 am
All of these really depend on which OOT community you live in. It isnt like it is NY vs OOT but NY vs city A vs city B vs city C.

You also often have less materialism, lower COL, friendlier people...
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amother




OP
 

Post Tue, Jun 21 2022, 11:14 am
Quote:

I live in a small growing OOT community (300-400 families). There is right now basically one school and it is a disaster. If we had somewhere to move that was affordable we'd leave tomorrow
There is talk and talk of opening another school - but you know, someone has to be the Nachshon...


I want to move OOT for the benefits I see (simpler lifestyle/ friendlier etc) but want to avoid something like this. Is this type of thing people will share if asked abt the school?
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imasinger




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Jun 21 2022, 11:27 am
Here are some common challenges, in addition to the biggest one - schools.

- Fewer frum friend options for kids

- No eruv, or very small one

- In some communities, inconsistent minyanim

- Peer pressure in areas of Tznius

- Harder for kids on long YT and Shabbos days (few or no group programs)
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#BestBubby




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Jun 21 2022, 11:29 am
Harder for girls in shidduchim. May have to move in town.

Likely your married children will live in a different city.
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amother




Burntblack
 

Post Tue, Jun 21 2022, 11:30 am
Quote:
I want to move OOT for the benefits I see (simpler lifestyle/ friendlier etc) but want to avoid something like this. Is this type of thing people will share if asked abt the school?

Depends on who you talk to. Don't get your information solely from the school and from references they give you. Many communities nowadays have "point people" that are meant to sell their community to you. They're obviously going to sugarcoat things
Speak to the rav, ask for his honest opinion. Also, ask him for names of people that are both happy and unhappy with the school that you can talk to.
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amother




Anemone
 

Post Tue, Jun 21 2022, 11:41 am
amother [ Burntblack ] wrote:
Quote:
I want to move OOT for the benefits I see (simpler lifestyle/ friendlier etc) but want to avoid something like this. Is this type of thing people will share if asked abt the school?

Depends on who you talk to. Don't get your information solely from the school and from references they give you. Many communities nowadays have "point people" that are meant to sell their community to you. They're obviously going to sugarcoat things
Speak to the rav, ask for his honest opinion. Also, ask him for names of people that are both happy and unhappy with the school that you can talk to.

Agree. Also, make sure you find out all of the school options. Sometimes certain people will act like a school doesn't exist at all, if there is politics about it.

Talk to as many people as you can and take everyone's comments with a grain of salt. Just like in town, people who send to School A may say questionable things about School B and School C and vice versa.

Try to read between the lines, ask specific questions, listen for what is not being said and notice when your question is being gently evaded.
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tichellady




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Jun 21 2022, 11:43 am
Less programming and events happening. Kosher food variety may be less. I miss having restaurants and takeout. Everything else is wonderful
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amother




DarkCyan
 

Post Tue, Jun 21 2022, 11:44 am
materialism can spread to OOT as well. my 6th grader recently asked me why some people are so in to brand names. She thought it was so ridiculous but this was coming from her OOT classmates. thankfully she has her like minded friends but it definitely exists even in lesser COL communities.

I would suggest you make sure to speak to people who have lived there for some time and to ask if you could be given people to speak to who moved OUT of the community and not just because their job required it, so you can find out why.

I find that I'll see people posting rave reviews about an OOT community a year or two in but fast forward and they have moved out Wink
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amother




Foxglove
 

Post Tue, Jun 21 2022, 11:58 am
none
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amother




Jetblack
 

Post Tue, Jun 21 2022, 12:09 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Quote:

I live in a small growing OOT community (300-400 families). There is right now basically one school and it is a disaster. If we had somewhere to move that was affordable we'd leave tomorrow
There is talk and talk of opening another school - but you know, someone has to be the Nachshon...


I want to move OOT for the benefits I see (simpler lifestyle/ friendlier etc) but want to avoid something like this. Is this type of thing people will share if asked abt the school?


Don't assume simpler and friendlier some aren't. You need to do major research about specific ones before moving. I also suggest asking people who moved away to get a full picture.
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amother




Anemone
 

Post Tue, Jun 21 2022, 12:12 pm
Even though I have posted in this thread about cons, I really love my smaller OOT community. I've lived here for over a decade. It is friendly and warm, not materialistic, and there is so much opportunity to get involved and make a difference in a small community. Please don't get the wrong impression from some of our posts OP.
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