Be honest- do you really have fun on vacation with your kids

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Forum -> Vacation and Traveling

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Do you REALLY have fun on vacation with your kids?

Yes

38%

[ 79 ]

No, but I suffer through it anyway

[ 18 ]

Kind of but it’s a ton of work with all the food

46%

[ 96 ]

We don’t go on vacation with our kids because it’s more work than vacation

[ 13 ]

Total Votes : 206

amother

Indigo

Thu, Jun 23 2022, 8:47 pm

SuperWify wrote:

It’s really tiring I fly all the time with little kids, mostly to visit family. But we really enjoy it the change of scenery. It’s tiring at home too Wink

This is what I always say after a family trip. I was busy and worked hard but at least I got to go somewhere nice and scenic. An option I don't have unless I take my children along. So it's difficult, yes but totally worth it (most summers! The summer when I had 3 kids under 5 I regretted it and then just did a really short 2 day trip the next yr. )

amother

Fern

Thu, Jun 23 2022, 9:03 pm

DVOM wrote:

We've had some really wonderful family vacations. We do a lot of camping. It helps to build in some alone time for my husband to learn and daven and hike on his own, and alone time for me to swim and read. If we each get that hour or two a day to do our own thing we don't get too exhausted.

We camp too, for long periods of time, and I find the prep really stressful (everything falls on me) but there's something magical about camping trips, even when it's hard (and that's often!). But I do always come home totally exhausted.

mamaroo

Thu, Jun 23 2022, 10:27 pm

I love to go on vacations with my kids but I only go to places I know they would like for example to the beach with kiddie pool….
Also I prep a ton in advance so all the food is ready and just needs to be defrosted and everything is ready
And also we go to cheap places so if it doesn’t work out we are not out on a lot of money

amother

Thu, Jun 23 2022, 10:34 pm

How long, and where? Do you have an RV?

quote="amother [ Fern ]"]We camp too, for long periods of time, and I find the prep really stressful (everything falls on me) but there's something magical about camping trips, even when it's hard (and that's often!). But I do always come home totally exhausted.[/quote]

Not_in_my_town

Thu, Jun 23 2022, 10:34 pm

I think it depends on the mindset. Hear me out:

When I was focused on my obtaining pleasure on family trips, it never worked out. I would always feel resentful and overworked.

It's almost impossible to not become burnt out when you are waiting for your own "needs" to be met.

But then, when you blessedly switch your mindset to focusing on other peoples' needs without a selfish concern -- when you just become happy to increase others' pleasure -- then you end up developing a deep sense of pleasure in the giving. And all of a sudden, you become lighter, more carefree. You have more FUN.

Humans beings want to serve. They don't want to be shmattehs, but it's very much the mindset that makes a shmatteh.

Chasing after your own needs creates an deficit. If you say, hey, I don't really have needs. I'm okay just BEING and you really adopt that mentality and just give, give, give with an open heart... All of a sudden, life becomes more pleasurable. Trips that were once draining, become beautiful.

amother

Thu, Jun 23 2022, 10:43 pm

In response to the poster above:
Forgive me for not having much of a “surrendered wife” mindset.

My needs do matter. But I will no longer expect them to matter much when on vacation with kids because of all the work that it entails.

Not_in_my_town

Thu, Jun 23 2022, 10:47 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Is that the surrendered wife mindset? Never read the book, never plan to.

It's about reaching a state of just relaxing. Just being. But if it doesn't work for you, it doesn't.

It used to not work for me either. But if you can get there, it sure is a more happy place to be. I used to be the biggest stressball out there. Resentful of my needs never being met. Not a fun place to be.

Either way, I hope you'll find a way to enjoy your next trip!

snailmail

Mon, Jun 27 2022, 3:46 pm

Its all down to mindset & expectations. We only recently (past few years) started going on family vacations (as opposed to just visiting family or going on day trips) and they have really been the highlight of our year - both for the children and also for myself & my husband. It takes planning but it is really enjoyable. A general plan of activiites to do, food to bring - even if it is just basics, or where/when we would go out to eat; planned down time, games/books to bring along etc but if everyone knows the general plan in advance, then all the time is relaxed and stress free.

amother

Lime

Tue, Jun 28 2022, 9:10 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

It's not " surrender", it's understanding the type of experience this is ( not a relaxing vacation) & deriving incredible joy in watching your family members bond & have a great time. No one is forcing anyone to do this.

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