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Latest backpack / school bag for teen girls.
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amother




Ecru
 

Post Thu, Aug 04 2022, 9:15 am
Chayalle wrote:
I found that the pressure starts around that age. Up until 5th grade my girls were fine with Lands End or Target or whatever - the designer didn't matter - they just picked something to their taste. Around age 10 or so they start getting designer crazy. Back then Kiplings were in (I don't think they are anymore) so I got them a Kipling and they used them for the rest of elementary school, so at least it was worth the price. (and my DD still uses her Kipling as a trip bag. And it's still in perfect condition, more than 10 years later.)

With youngest DD, Herschels were in in upper elementary school. And B"H you can often find them on sale in the $30 to $40 range which isn't such a bank-breaker. Yeah there are more expensive ones out there too that are "more" in but you don't have to be the coolest kid ever - Herschel was good enough.


This makes sense!
Before this year, whatever shoes we got were fine and whatever knapsack she chose was fine. Now she wants what "everyone has".

She's my oldest, but she has one friend who has tons of older sisters and cousins. I feel like a lot of the "what's in" and what's not discussions are coming from this friend. But she's a good friend and it was bound to happen sooner or later.

I myself grew up in an immigrant home where no one had the time or the means to indulge me and I had second hand begged or borrowed everything. If it would make my daughter feel more comfortable and confident, then within reason, yes, I will help her figure out what style she wants.

(Of course I also teach her than an original is better than a copy and that she can't ONLY follow trends and has to have her unique style. But still.)
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amother




Red
 

Post Thu, Aug 04 2022, 9:17 am
Chayalle wrote:
My teen daughter is going into hs this year, and has been offered a lululemon backpack from a family member (not me) as a gift. She's actually thinking of going with something cheaper because she feels that every next girl's gonna have the same backpack, which doesn't interest her.

It's like when everyone's gonna have the same ridiculous bag, it's not cool.



I had to laugh at this! My daughter is the same! I hate shopping so much that I think I would happily order a lululemon backpack even tho I think its ridiculous just to be done with it. But my daughter is like No way! I'm not getting the bag that everyone will have! So we will have to shop and figure this out Smile

She is going into 12th grade and none of her other backpacks were expensive, just different and cute. We are mostly frugal but I don't mind a splurge here and there. She has kept a lot of the same things she's had through high school so far, so an item or 2 that is special is understandable to me. I still remember getting a Guess watch for my 15th birthday and being SO SO happy. Obviously, if its completely out of range, I'd say don't go into debt. But on occasion I think its alright.
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amother




Dahlia
 

Post Thu, Aug 04 2022, 9:44 am
My daughters going into h.s. this yr and I will prob. Order her a lulu briefcase after 9 av.

This is what she wants..

Im glad she didnt ask for a $300 bag..
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amother




Nemesia
 

Post Thu, Aug 04 2022, 9:58 am
So... just to confirm my theory, do all you moms getting the "latest backpack" live in Lakewood/monsey/brooklyn?
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amother




Garnet
 

Post Thu, Aug 04 2022, 10:00 am
amother [ Nemesia ] wrote:
So... just to confirm my theory, do all you moms getting the "latest backpack" live in Lakewood/monsey/brooklyn?


I know people in baltimore and chicago that got those bags...
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amother




Dahlia
 

Post Thu, Aug 04 2022, 10:04 am
I live in lkwd, moved from b.p. 2 yrs ago.

I definitely feel there's more pressure in lkwd.
Got my out of 8th g4der a $450 tiffany bracelet..
Even with my younger kids, whether it was a neck fan, yoyo, or the magnets.... I can go on and on.. they " needed" to have..
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Rubies




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Aug 04 2022, 10:05 am
amother [ Dahlia ] wrote:
I live in lkwd, moved from b.p. 2 yrs ago.

I definitely feel there's more pressure in lkwd.
Got my out of 8th g4der a $450 tiffany bracelet..
Even with my younger kids, whether it was a neck fan, yoyo, or the magnets.... I can go on and on.. they " needed" to have..


I think the pressure grows each season, that's all. Not the location that matters, just the passage of time.
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DrMom




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Aug 04 2022, 10:05 am
amother [ Garnet ] wrote:
It's up to us as parents to teach our kids to be confident. I asked my daughter if she wanted to get some things for sleep away camp because I saw on here that everyone is getting them. She said I don't need to be like everyone else I'll get what I like. Then I remembered how I raised her and how I suddenly let imamother get to me and convince me I was being a horrible mother by making my kid the nebach. She is popular and loved and people copy our not cool style. Teach your kids to be the leader not the follower and spend less time on here because it's a negative influence.

You certainly didn't hear it from me.

I think these discussions about what backpacks are "ïn" (they always seem to be ones that cost $300), what sneakers are coolest for camp, what brand of socks/sneakers/watches a 4th grader must wear so she will be "in" and "feel confident" are a sad reflection of the values of certain communities.

Not one single person "needs" a $300 designer backpack. Period. If a kid's confidence depends so strongly on the manufacturer of the bag she uses to carry her books to/from school, she needs a hobby, or new friends, or a school that emphasizes Torah values instead of a snob farm.

But I usually get tomatoes thrown at me for saying so.
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amother




Bellflower
 

Post Thu, Aug 04 2022, 10:12 am
Rubies wrote:
I think the pressure grows each season, that's all. Not the location that matters, just the passage of time.


The location definitely matters. People in certain towns will spend way more money on clothing and accessories than people in others.
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amother




Red
 

Post Thu, Aug 04 2022, 10:16 am
The backpacks in discussion are around $100. Definitely more than the $20-40 range I'd spend on little kids, but not really $300. People are choosing to buy something a little more pricey for their children to have something special to them, but I'm not really hearing that kind of insanity. I totally get that its not someone's cup of tea. I'm not altogether sure its mine! But I don't think its fair to make it sound like from $100 to $300.
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Rubies




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Aug 04 2022, 10:18 am
amother [ Bellflower ] wrote:
The location definitely matters. People in certain towns will spend way more money on clothing and accessories than people in others.


Am referring to bp vs lakewood.
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amother




Hyssop
 

Post Thu, Aug 04 2022, 10:20 am
My high school daughter asked for an adidas knapsack for $40 Seems like plenty of girls have adidas
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Chayalle




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Aug 04 2022, 11:19 am
amother [ Dahlia ] wrote:
I live in lkwd, moved from b.p. 2 yrs ago.

I definitely feel there's more pressure in lkwd.
Got my out of 8th g4der a $450 tiffany bracelet..
Even with my younger kids, whether it was a neck fan, yoyo, or the magnets.... I can go on and on.. they " needed" to have..


This was YOUR choice as a parent.
My niece got a tiffany bracelet for her Bas Mitzvah. I didn't feel the need/pressure to match that gift for my DD even though they are the same age. She's just fine without one.
Sometimes the more you feed into the "need" the more "needs" get created.
I'm not saying not to get your kids anything, but at the same time, they don't have to have the same things everyone else has. My DD has things my niece doesn't have.
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amother




Tangerine
 

Post Thu, Aug 04 2022, 1:28 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Bump for teen
Bump for lower elementary

With it school


lol
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amother




OP
 

Post Thu, Aug 04 2022, 2:48 pm
amother [ Tangerine ] wrote:
lol
[b]

That was me. I didn’t want to write yeshivish. It is lol now?
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seeker




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Aug 04 2022, 3:47 pm
My kids are still young and I don't claim to be smart but just wanted to offer a "mehalech" of sorts - I tell my kids they can have some of the "in" thing but not everything. My personal instinct is to just ignore all of it but I know not everyone is like that. I don't want them to feel like I'm saying no to everything, but I think saying yes to everything isn't good practice either - not to mention the actual money which gets out of hand very quickly. So I tell them - in advance, so they know what they're getting into - that they can choose a couple of The things and the rest will be middling or cheap. So far they seem to feel this is reasonable. Having some The things is enough to make you normal and fit in, you don't need to be at the top/front edge of every trend and you also don't want to be that kid who has nothing. So maybe they'll have The backpack but then the cheap generic hoodie, or maybe they'll have The shoes and The notebooks but the middle-of-the-road backpack and the cheap everything else. I tell them this periodically so they don't get stuck in middle saying something like "if I would have known it was instead of a backpack then I wouldn't have pushed for the shoes!" I do draw the line at practicality, though. If The backpack is something that won't hold their school supplies in an organized way or won't be comfortable to carry or will fall apart quickly, then I'm not endorsing it. And also I hope The backpack doesn't turn out to be a $200 designer piece because that's just nauseating. I'm talking about Kipling level The.
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