Being so into clothing

amother

Maize

Fri, Jun 24 2022, 9:16 am

amother [ NeonBlue ] wrote:

Some people have class. They spend more than average on good quality, elegant clothing (hopefully according to their means) and they will keep the clothing for a while too . They should not be judged just because others don't have the same value.

But it's hard to understand why some people run after cheap fashion & spend so much money on items which will last a season. The clothing are often poor quality and don't fit well. It gets thrown out very soon.

But spending on elegant, slow fashion has always been a thing.

Ridiculous rationale that makes many overuse credit and end up in all kinds of legal trouble.

Also, "feinshmeckers" dont keep things forever either.. theres always a more updated, current version of "classics", and then theres weight loss, weight gain, reasons that you need new clothing. Nothing in life is forever.

zaq

Fri, Jun 24 2022, 10:58 am

amother [ Glitter ] wrote:

Mmmmm actually not. I’m part of the few, not many. See below. Thanks

When the many are wrong, it's still wrong.

amother

Forsythia

Fri, Jun 24 2022, 12:50 pm

amother [ Maize ] wrote:

This is not rediculous rationale.
My own mother has class and past seventy dresses conservative elegant.
People admire her.
She has very little concept of social mores. to the point that her four daughters laugh into the face of
dressing for יענעם

people who have true fashion talent are usually independent minded and dress creatively for their own "feels good to me".

amother

Maize

Fri, Jun 24 2022, 1:18 pm

amother [ Forsythia ] wrote:

I hope theyre not wearing quilted Chanel pocketbooks in a 1960s style, with gold chains, in shapes that look very outdated now, or Chanel dresses with shoulder pads (haha), that they spent thousands on a few years ago, that are very "OUT" now. Its the very rare expensive item that doesnt go out of style.

amother

NeonOrange

Fri, Jun 24 2022, 4:17 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Why do some people invest so much time, money and energy on clothing? I'm especially surprised when super frum people are like this, because come on, why such a big stress on gashmius? My super yeshivish sister in law is constantly busy with shopping for beautiful clothes and of course all the kids need to match/ coordinate etc... I just don't get it...

It’s low self esteem. Needing to impress everyone else by showing off.

amother

NeonOrange

Fri, Jun 24 2022, 4:19 pm

behappy2 wrote:

It comes from very similar ppl living in very close proximity. It brings pressure and judgement. If you lived on a block with 1 chassidish person age 25, 1 chassidish person age 38, 1 chassidish person age 75, 1 Yeshivish person age 30, one Yeshivish person age 55, one Sefardi person age 28, 1 Sefardi person age 40 and a few non frum ppl or non Jewish ppl various ages it would all look very different. 80 percent would be so RELIEVED that they don't need to care. Only 20 percent would still dress up their kids.

No. If you have good self esteem, and believe in your principles (like not overdoing it on the gashmius, etc) you don’t care what people think or how they judge you.

zaq

Sat, Jun 25 2022, 10:07 pm

amother [ NeonOrange ] wrote:

It’s low self esteem. Needing to impress everyone else by showing off.

. And for others, it's a matter of self-respect. If a person dresses very well in quality clothing that is quiet, NOT the latest trend, and bears no obvious "designer" labels, but is well-made and flattering, you can bet your mortgage payment that it's healthy self-esteem rather than the reverse. OTOH if it's flashy or the very very latest thing that will be passe next week, and especially if they talk about how much they spent, chances are that lack of self-confidence is at work.

amother

Lightgray

Sat, Jun 25 2022, 10:35 pm

shabbatiscoming wrote:

Yes, in the charedi communities, or the anglo charedi communities that pressure is there.
I dont know where the poster who said it, lives, but I know in the majority of dati leumi communities, the pressure is either MUCH MMUCH less or non existent at all.

I find this to be true in the US as well. While there aren’t exact parallels to the chareidi/ DL I think that MO and definitely the YU crowd has much less of this pressure.

amother

Maize

Sat, Jun 25 2022, 10:43 pm

behappy2 wrote:

SO TRUE!

When you live in a community of clones of yourself, youre more likely to be obsessed with looking different and standing out in some way.

amother

Honeydew

Sat, Jun 25 2022, 10:44 pm

amother [ Lightgray ] wrote:

I find this to be true in the US as well. While there aren’t exact parallels to the chareidi/ DL I think that MO and definitely the YU crowd has much less of this pressure.

Part of the reason for this is that the pressure to conform is part and parcel of the yeshivish frumkeit. Being yeshivish is not about how frum you are it's about how much you are a part of yeshivish culture. And this includes dressing a certain way to fit in, thereby constantly following trends lest God forbid you are "out" and thereby out if the culture. Last week I was at a huge yeshivish wedding where literally 500 women wore versions of the identical tiered dress. You can imagine the pressure.