Screaming every night

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Toddlers

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tichellady

Wed, Jun 22 2022, 10:50 pm

This happened to my daughter around three too and it was so hard. It took some time but things really did get better. We talked a lot short bedtime during the day and read books about separation. Decide your boundary and stick to it. We didn’t allow her in our bed because I had a newborn and it wasn’t safe. I think it helped that we stuck to what we said and didn’t waver. It’s very hard and I’m sorry

amother

Plum

Wed, Jun 22 2022, 10:55 pm

This could be behavioral. One night she woke up (for bathroom?) and saw she got extra time with parents in middle of night and started wanting that every night. Try a sticker chart for staying in bed quietly.

amother

Azure

Wed, Jun 22 2022, 10:56 pm

Maybe this is helpful? At least to know you’re not alone.

https://www.whattoexpect.com/t......aspx

Hatzlacha!

mushkamothers

Wed, Jun 22 2022, 11:03 pm

amother [ Plum ] wrote:

No. It's not behavioral.

Pinworms pinworms pinworms
Or strep. Has she had strep recently at all?

amother

Wed, Jun 22 2022, 11:15 pm

mushkamothers wrote:

No. It's not behavioral.

Pinworms pinworms pinworms
Or strep. Has she had strep recently at all?

We do go in eventually because it doesn't stop and we can't sleep like this, so maybe she did realize that if she screams then we'll come.

I'll try to check for pinworms.

And she never had strep before BH.

amother

Forestgreen

Wed, Jun 22 2022, 11:38 pm

What's the connection to strep? My son has been doing this also and I'm going crazy from it

MaverickMommy

Thu, Jun 23 2022, 12:36 am

I've definitely experienced this with all of my kids.

From my experience it was night terrors (different from nightmares) and they eventually passed. Very common in young toddlers. I also totally relate on the mind-numbing exhaustion it creates.

Some things that helped:

1) We put a pack n play up in our room so if child was too scared to go back to sleep in their room it provided an alternative that wasn't our beds.

2) Hold/lay next to the child for a few minutes to help soothe them until they come out of it. Offer a snack or cup of water. If it's a night terror, you can hold/soothe but don't try to wake them up, as it will make it worse. They are often still asleep and will have no memory of the event the next day. Another indication it's a night terror is if after it passes (which can last up to 30 min with the sudden screaming and crying) they quickly go right back to sleep.

3) Remember that at the end of the day you have to do what you have to do. You have to take care of yourself so you have the strength to take care of everyone the next day. So even if it means you put kids in your bed for a few nights or sleep next to them in their rooms, do what you need to do to get sleep and function. It is temporary and will pass, then they will resume their regular sleep through the night again.

mushkamothers

Thu, Jun 23 2022, 12:41 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Listen we had almost an entire year of a 4 year old screaming every single night. We were falling apart and I had a new baby. Until finally discovered the medical reason.
You're not reinforcing the behavior, okay maybe you are once you go in, but to begin with it's happening for a reason - no 3 year old wakes themselves up screaming because they're so smart that they know it will get them into mommy's bed. Something is waking them up, figure out what it is.

MommyPhD

Thu, Jun 23 2022, 12:49 am

OP, this happened to my son at 3 and to every single one of my friends' kids at 3. Especially around 3 1/2. I thought my kid was disturbed or something until I asked around everyone I know and his doctor. How it was explained to me is that they start getting nightmares at that age. They become aware of being afraid. A good friend urged me to let him sleep with me until it ran it's course, which it did, around 4. (He did not have pinworms). Maybe you could put a mattress in your room?

amother

Bellflower

Thu, Jun 23 2022, 3:26 am

Most likely pinworms. Consideri cina. Helps tremendously

amother

Bellflower

Thu, Jun 23 2022, 3:27 am

Pinworms are internal. You won't always see them on the outside

amother

Plum

Thu, Jun 23 2022, 6:32 am

mushkamothers wrote:

no 3 year old wakes themselves up screaming

Who says she wakes herself up screaming? OP isn’t in the room or even awake at the moment the child first wakes up

OP have you witnessed her screaming in her sleep?

When you come to her does she calm down immediately or do you need to calm her down?

How many times a night is this happening?

amother

Strawberry

Thu, Jun 23 2022, 7:16 am

amother [ Forestgreen ] wrote:

What's the connection to strep? My son has been doing this also and I'm going crazy from it

Untreated strep can cause brain inflammation which causes sleep disturbances, extreme fears and separation anxiety, meltdowns.

amother

Thu, Jun 23 2022, 9:00 am

amother [ Plum ] wrote:

She starts calling for us and runs to the door and shrieks for us. She's definitely awake. She even tells us about it the next morning "I was saying Mommy Mommy..." So she's definitely awake.
When we come to the door she only calms down if we let her come to our room. Otherwise she screams even louder. A few nights ago I was able to put her back to sleep multiple times. I came in, lay her down, tucked her in..... Kisses and good night. But that lasted about 20 minutes and she was up screaming again. By 4am she was in my husband's bed.

motherfrmisrael

Thu, Jun 23 2022, 2:00 pm

It's tough when kids wake up at night... I have one child that oes it and it drives me crazy. wakes up more then the baby sometimes...

However, I do believe if a child wakes up at night, ignoring them will only make it worse. Wait a few seconds to see if they fall right back asleep, and then go into them and give them the security they need. Doing that for a few nights, might just do the trick. If it still continues, it calls for further investigation. But never let a 3 year old scream for an hour at night. That is traumatizing and will make them feel much less secure. The road from there to healthy sleeping will be much longer then if you go into her and calm her down each time.

Hugs. Hope you get sleep tonight.

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