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amother




OP
 

Post Wed, Jun 22 2022, 11:21 pm
Hello.
I am BH postpartum.
Where I live legal time off is 12 weeks. This a small business, with not enough staff to cover my work. I get that. I let boss know that I will return at 8 weeks. My boss is insisting I return at 6 week mark.

Any tips?
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steak4me




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Jun 22 2022, 11:25 pm
Find a new job?
Legally they cannot insist you return sooner. They may not need to keep your job avail for you being that it’s a small business but you need to take care of yourself. Going back to work 6 weeks after a baby is inhumane.
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mushkamothers




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Jun 22 2022, 11:26 pm
I would take all 12 weeks if they will legally hold your job.

Here's the real answer. You are now a mother and you need to learn how to care for yourself and your baby above everything else in the world.

In the grand scheme of things, like even in the next two months, it will NOT make an earth shattering difference to your boss or to your job exactly how much time you took off (assuming he doesn't fire you). However every single day postpartum absolutely DOES make a difference to your physical health, to your bonding with baby and even to your own baby's health especially if you are nursing.

Every day is worth so much at this stage. And you are worth absolutely nothing to your employer. The proof being that he doesn't actually care about your wellbeing.

Now is not the time to bend in, feel guilty, be nice etc. He's the boss - he cares about his bottom dollar. Now is the time to learn to stand up for yourself and care about YOUR bottom line which is you and your baby and your relationship together.

Again, unless you sincerely and desperately need the money from the job and can't afford to be fired. But it sounds like he's just pushing his luck on you. Don't let him.
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essie14




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Jun 22 2022, 11:53 pm
mushkamothers wrote:
I would take all 12 weeks if they will legally hold your job.

Here's the real answer. You are now a mother and you need to learn how to care for yourself and your baby above everything else in the world.

In the grand scheme of things, like even in the next two months, it will NOT make an earth shattering difference to your boss or to your job exactly how much time you took off (assuming he doesn't fire you). However every single day postpartum absolutely DOES make a difference to your physical health, to your bonding with baby and even to your own baby's health especially if you are nursing.

Every day is worth so much at this stage. And you are worth absolutely nothing to your employer. The proof being that he doesn't actually care about your wellbeing.

Now is not the time to bend in, feel guilty, be nice etc. He's the boss - he cares about his bottom dollar. Now is the time to learn to stand up for yourself and care about YOUR bottom line which is you and your baby and your relationship together.

Again, unless you sincerely and desperately need the money from the job and can't afford to be fired. But it sounds like he's just pushing his luck on you. Don't let him.

I agree đź’Ż percent.
Your boss only cares about himself and his business.
You can likely sue him if he breaks any law.
Don't let him pressure you into anything less than what you're legally allowed to take.
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amother




OP
 

Post Thu, Jun 23 2022, 12:11 am
mushkamothers wrote:
I would take all 12 weeks if they will legally hold your job.

Here's the real answer. You are now a mother and you need to learn how to care for yourself and your baby above everything else in the world.

In the grand scheme of things, like even in the next two months, it will NOT make an earth shattering difference to your boss or to your job exactly how much time you took off (assuming he doesn't fire you). However every single day postpartum absolutely DOES make a difference to your physical health, to your bonding with baby and even to your own baby's health especially if you are nursing.

Every day is worth so much at this stage. And you are worth absolutely nothing to your employer. The proof being that he doesn't actually care about your wellbeing.

Now is not the time to bend in, feel guilty, be nice etc. He's the boss - he cares about his bottom dollar. Now is the time to learn to stand up for yourself and care about YOUR bottom line which is you and your baby and your relationship together.

Again, unless you sincerely and desperately need the money from the job and can't afford to be fired. But it sounds like he's just pushing his luck on you. Don't let him.


Oy I know!! Question is how hard I can actually push back.
It's not my first so I really do know. And going back doesn't do well for milk supply. Or for my stress levels.
I also had a hard evening hormonally. I didn't settle on a sitter and as any mom knows, that's hard!

I do need the money, but I'm not getting fired over this. I've been there a while. That also comes with a relationship so it gets tough to push back. I also need some accomodations with bussing and stuff so I don't want to lose that either.

Side note, I signed up for your emails.. looking forward to learning!
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mig100




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Jun 23 2022, 12:32 am
Can u do some work from home?? Is that an option

Last edited by mig100 on Sun, Jun 26 2022, 4:19 pm; edited 1 time in total
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mushkamothers




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Jun 23 2022, 12:48 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Oy I know!! Question is how hard I can actually push back.
It's not my first so I really do know. And going back doesn't do well for milk supply. Or for my stress levels.
I also had a hard evening hormonally. I didn't settle on a sitter and as any mom knows, that's hard!

I do need the money, but I'm not getting fired over this. I've been there a while. That also comes with a relationship so it gets tough to push back. I also need some accomodations with bussing and stuff so I don't want to lose that either.

Side note, I signed up for your emails.. looking forward to learning!


You're not pushing back - he's the one pushing. All you have to do is remain firm. "I'm sorry I can't. Yes I know the office is so busy. My doctor doesn't want me working earlier than X date (it's not such a white lie, any pelvic floor therapist will tell you that too). I'll resume my responsibilities when I come in."

Mazel tov! See you in your inbox LOL
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imaima




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Jun 23 2022, 1:38 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Hello.
I am BH postpartum.
Where I live legal time off is 12 weeks. This a small business, with not enough staff to cover my work. I get that. I let boss know that I will return at 8 weeks. My boss is insisting I return at 6 week mark.

Any tips?


The boss is basically asking you for a favor.
You need to ask yourself what is more important for you: this favor or stretching your maternity leave?
If you have help at home, maybe you will choose the favor. Otherwise I would always choose myself and my family first
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imaima




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Jun 23 2022, 1:41 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Oy I know!! Question is how hard I can actually push back.
It's not my first so I really do know. And going back doesn't do well for milk supply. Or for my stress levels.
I also had a hard evening hormonally. I didn't settle on a sitter and as any mom knows, that's hard!

I do need the money, but I'm not getting fired over this. I've been there a while. That also comes with a relationship so it gets tough to push back. I also need some accomodations with bussing and stuff so I don't want to lose that either.

Side note, I signed up for your emails.. looking forward to learning!


If you don’t have the sitter, its a valid reason to say you need more time.
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ora_43




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Jun 23 2022, 2:18 am
If you're not going to get fired over this I would absolutely take the full 12 weeks.

Your boss has so many other options. The obvious one being what nearly every other person in his position does: hiring someone to cover for you. Unless you're one of those women who didn't realize she was pregnant until the baby was halfway out, he had more than enough time to prepare for this.

The only thing you would get out of coming back in to work early is to try to appease someone with ridiculous expectations. And that's never a fun game.

Meanwhile taking another 4 weeks to recover has so so many benefits for you and baby.

As for going back at 6 weeks no freaking way. Odds are you'll literally still be bleeding.
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ora_43




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Jun 23 2022, 2:19 am
Honestly even if you would get fired for taking 12 weeks, I'd still consider it. There's got to be a workplace out there that will both pay you to work and treat you as human when you can't.
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ora_43




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Jun 23 2022, 2:25 am
Excuses for your boss, not that you need them:

- you spoke to your doctor, and s/he said you will not be ready to go back in until after 12 weeks. (as previous posters said, this is definitely a thing many doctors would actually say, so, not a lie)

- your planned babysitter fell through.

- can add "I would of course be willing to take half a day to help train a temporary replacement (/write up a training manual)." Not that you should have to do this, but it might be a good reminder, for you, that his "but we need you! but my business!" should only be taken so seriously. He has options.
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amother




OP
 

Post Thu, Jun 23 2022, 11:56 am
Thank you all. I'm gonna go with I can't and no sitter. Both are true!
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motherfrmisrael




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Jun 23 2022, 2:08 pm
s it even legal to go back earlier?
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amother




Smokey
 

Post Fri, Jun 24 2022, 12:04 pm
kudos to you!! I just went back earlier than I wanted and I really regret not standing up for myself and giving into the ridiculous pressure!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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amother




Dandelion
 

Post Fri, Jun 24 2022, 12:11 pm
I wouldn’t listen to the pressure at all. If you aren’t ready to go back then you’re not ready.
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