Should dh look for a new job?

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Forum -> Household Management -> Finances

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amother

Sun, Jun 26 2022, 12:55 am

My husband works for a few years in an office that when he was looking into the job they had promoted ‘alot of room for opportunity and growth’
He DID grow exponentially in this company and his salary reflected that every year by his annual. His job gives us an amazing Health insurance that’s worth around $25k a year that we don’t pay for.
The problem is now that he’s feeling slighted in terms of growth. For the past 6 months he’s been feeling very unmotivated and things are taking too slow with the work he’s putting in to see any sort of accomplishment or a bigger distribution from his work. His partner/ boss doesn’t give him the freedom to make decisions on day to day jobs that are his responsibility and doesn’t give my husband the freedom to run his team the way he wants to.. We’re currently a family of 6 and after his salary and commissions he’s making around $200k a year. We’re living month to month . He feels like he can be making a lot more in another company without being undermined by his partner/ boss.. (not sure what to call him cuz he’s kinda both..) .Should I push him to switch or he should ‘stay put’ and trust the process.. thanks for reading this far!

amother

Oatmeal

Sun, Jun 26 2022, 12:58 am

If he feels that he can make alot more elsewhere then of course he should be looking into that.

amother

Babyblue

Sun, Jun 26 2022, 12:58 am

200k is a very nice salary.
I wouldn't run to another company at this point.
Can you work part time to help with expenses?

amother

Sun, Jun 26 2022, 1:34 am

amother [ Oatmeal ] wrote:

If he feels that he can make alot more elsewhere then of course he should be looking into that.

Thanks for your reply. My question was more- is it a good idea to switch when he is settled and looking for a new job has its own set of risks.

amother

Oatmeal

Sun, Jun 26 2022, 1:44 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Thanks for your reply. My question was more- is it a good idea to switch when he is settled and looking for a new job has its own set of risks.

That's always the tricky part. Salary is easy to compare. If he's making 200k now and can make 260k elsewhere, that's 60k more.

But he's also comfortable and familiar with his current job, boss and co-workers.
Unfortunately, there's no way to no forsure how the dynamics of a new job will work out. Therefore, if he can only make say, 10k more elsewhere, it's probably best not to take a chance with the unknowns. But if he can make 50k+ elsewhere, then for the sake of his family he should probably give it strong consideration.

amother

Steel

Sun, Jun 26 2022, 1:51 am

If you dont mind me asking, what is it that he does to earn this amount?
How's your budgeting? 200k is a very nice salary

amother

Sun, Jun 26 2022, 2:02 am

amother [ Steel ] wrote:

If you dont mind me asking, what is it that he does to earn this amount?
How's your budgeting? 200k is a very nice salary

We have a weekly budget and we mostly keep to it..

Our monthly bills look like this.. rough numbers-
3500 mortgage
1200 cars
1200 food
1300 tuition and playgroup
1000 extras each month (clothes/gifts/takeout)
500 utilities
600 cell phone and car insurance (I dont know exact amounts off hand)
What other expense am I missing?

amother

Sun, Jun 26 2022, 2:03 am

amother [ Steel ] wrote:

If you dont mind me asking, what is it that he does to earn this amount?
How's your budgeting? 200k is a very nice salary

He works in healthcare .. it’s a defined job so I don’t want to give myself away..

amother

Diamond

Sun, Jun 26 2022, 2:28 am

your clothes/gifts/takeout budget is more than some people MAKE in a month. Your mortgage is 3 times what's normal in my out of town community.

We've got 3 cell phones in our family for $200 a month--- so if you're doing $600 on cell phones and car insurance you've got a LOT more cell phones than we do or you're paying way too much car insurance on.. what.... two cars?

amother

Steel

Sun, Jun 26 2022, 4:22 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Wow ok. I'm assuming Brooklyn or similar based on mortgage.
Some ideas to help cut this down.

Cars, food, extras, cell phones are way out of usual for family of 6.
-what age are your children?
-where are you shopping for clothing?
-where are you shopping for food? Do you buy lots of packaged/pre-made/take out/bakery?
-Cell phones can be $100. Most plans these days are $50/ea.
-car insurance depends on which car can be Less in my opinion. Check out an agent who uses Kemper as insurance company

amother

NeonOrange

Sun, Jun 26 2022, 4:26 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Some of this (okay, a lot of this) could be cut down, enabling you to live quite comfortably on the amount DH is bringing in. But I don't think that's the point of this thread (unless OP disagrees).

The main question is, if DH is feeling that his job is not offering the growth opportunities it promised, and he is feeling constricted by his boss/partner, is that a reason to change jobs?

It could be. If DH is unhappy and unfulfilled at work, that will affect his whole life.

Has he clearly discussed this with his boss/partner? Is he willing to try to work on that angle? Some people are lovely people but clueless about being a good boss. In some cases it's repairable.

If that doesn't work, then I do think that looking for another job is appropriate. Ideally he needs to feel fulfilled at work, and if he can make a similar or greater salary, then it is a logical thing to try. I would not suggest he resigns though unless/until he has an appropriate job lined up.

amother

Dandelion

Sun, Jun 26 2022, 4:32 am

This is really a personality thing.
Switching jobs is often the way to bump up significantly. Staying can stagnate or move very slowly.
He shouldn't leave without a new job in hand, but you often don't get a true feel for a new job, how they keep their promises, co-worker quirks, how the staff interacts, until you are working at a new job for a while.

amother

Yellow

Sun, Jun 26 2022, 7:53 am

Op is not here asking for budgeting advice. If her husband works hard and wants a nicer car that he can afford I don't see the problem. Her numbers don't add up either way unless the the 200k is pretax .
The food bill seems low I'm surprised people are saying otherwise. I'm a family of 8 and spend around $1800 and think 3 times if I should buy pickles ot not.
Op sorry I don't have advice on whether staying or starting over is the way to go. I'm sure many people have faced this, it's a tough spot to be in. Daven for guidance !

amother

Lightcyan

Sun, Jun 26 2022, 8:22 am

First things first - he should sit down with his boss/partner and discuss his concerns. It is premature to talk about quitting.

amother

Crimson

Sun, Jun 26 2022, 8:26 am

If he looks for a job an gets an offer for much higher he can then go back to his current boss for a counter offer. It’s an employees market these days.

Do you have leases on like 3+ cars? Otherwise your monthly car expenses make no sense

amother

Nasturtium

Sun, Jun 26 2022, 8:28 am

1300 tuition and playgroup for 4 kids? Are you sure that's right?

amother

Ballota

Sun, Jun 26 2022, 8:35 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Not sure how you're going month to month on this budget. Your budget seems okay. I have the same amount of people and probably spend a lot more. We make about the same and we are BH saving monthly. Your tuition seems super duper cheap. Your mortgage is not on the high side either for the New York area.
If your husband feels he can make more money somewhere else than he can switch but just know he's making a very nice salary.

amother

Lily

Sun, Jun 26 2022, 8:37 am

Finding a decent job is hard. I would not advise leaving without something solid lined up. Financial stability is not to be taken for granted! The stress of not being able to cover your bills is greater than you can imagine. It cuts into every part of one's life. My husband left a well paying job and it is the worst decision he ever made.

amother

Iris

Sun, Jun 26 2022, 8:37 am

Really up to him.
He can look around and see whats out there to get a better feel.
Every choice has a risk/benefit analysis.
Every place has mailos and challenges.
Some more than others.
He can explore options to improve his current situation as well. And make sure he is accurately assessing and not focusing on negatives prematurely.
If you are living month to month then yes you can simultaneously consult with a financial advisor to see if you can improve your situation on that end.

amother

Sun, Jun 26 2022, 9:46 am

Thank you ladies for all your wise replies ;-)

To answer the questions that came up..

Car insurance is more like 200 and cell is about 120. (I knew I was giving a very rough number last night.. I was waiting for dh to wake up to ask him specific numbers ;-)

Oldest is the only one in school and tuition is $500.

The next two are in playgroup and baby not in school..

Cars- we finance a van and lease a car.. finance for my van is about $550 a month.. lease is a bit more but my husband doesn’t spend on anything for himself and it makes him feel good so honestly I don’t see what’s wrong with that..

But…. This wasn’t really my question. Was more if he should attempt to switch jobs. He WILL have a discussion with his boss and see where that takes him..

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