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Wedding gifts different scenarios.

 
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radishjuice21




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Jun 26 2022, 6:08 am
1. Do you give a gift to not so close friend who invited to child’s wedding. We have nothing to do with the child (I never spoke or saw her to her in my life) they are marrying off. It was more of a “political” invite as we sometimes (rarely) interact professionally with the parents.

2. Do you gift first cousins if you got married first and now they are getting married. They never gifted you (theparents / uncles and aunts will give a gift) why are you expected to gift them just cuz your married now.
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amother




Chambray
 

Post Sun, Jun 26 2022, 6:14 am
I do for both. If I got invited, I send a gift. I don't live in a community with 500 person weddings though. For the cousin thing, I also do. When I was single, my parents would include me for the gift (prob give a little extra). So now I give my own gift from our family. Being married adds another person+ to the guest list.
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amother




Papayawhip
 

Post Sun, Jun 26 2022, 6:20 am
radishjuice21 wrote:
1. Do you give a gift to not so close friend who invited to child’s wedding. We have nothing to do with the child (I never spoke or saw her to her in my life) they are marrying off. It was more of a “political” invite as we sometimes (rarely) interact professionally with the parents.

2. Do you gift first cousins if you got married first and now they are getting married. They never gifted you (theparents / uncles and aunts will give a gift) why are you expected to gift them just cuz your married now.


This is very community dependent. Please state your community and/or group that you affiliate with if you want helpful answers.
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radishjuice21




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Jun 26 2022, 6:20 am
Thank you for the responses were not social butterflies so I’m looking for what’s socially expected.
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radishjuice21




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Jun 26 2022, 6:21 am
radishjuice21 wrote:
Thank you for the responses were not social butterflies so I’m looking for what’s socially expected. Brooklyn midwood is the community .
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amother




Bisque
 

Post Sun, Jun 26 2022, 8:00 am
I'm not really understanding why you wouldn't give a gift, if you're adults invited to a wedding. (Or bar mitzvah for that matter).

I'm not from your circles though.

I just think its nice and appropriate to give a gift if someone's made the effort to include you in their simcha.

In scenario 1, if you don't know them and it's a random invite, maybe don't go?

Only simchos!
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ChalieB




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Jun 26 2022, 10:27 am
If you're not close enough or care enough to bring a gift, you're probably not close enough to go- is that a good rule of thumb?
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watergirl




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Jun 26 2022, 10:31 am
1. I would not go to the wedding and I would not send a gift.

2. Yes I would go and yes I would gift.
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amother




Mintgreen
 

Post Sun, Jun 26 2022, 10:34 am
If they were young/unmarried and didn't individually give you at your wedding, they were probably included in the invite to their parents as a family invitation and therefore, were covered by their parents' gift to you.

If you don't go to the wedding, you don't have to give. I might skip wedding #1. I'd try to go to wedding #2 unless I am not close to that cousin at all/have nothing to do with them. But if you go to either one, it is socially expected to give. If you really can't afford it, that's a different story.
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chanchy123




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Jun 26 2022, 11:17 am
In scenario one I would bring a gift if if I attended the wedding but not if I declined (let’s say I had other plans - I wouldn’t make too much of an effort to attend, only it if worked out in my schedule).
In scenario two of course I’d give a gift. Being an adult living independently you are expected to give a a gift. Young adults living with their parents aren’t usually expected to give their own gifts in family weddings, but if they are living alone or otherwise independent generally give a gift or join their parents’ gifts.
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amother




Garnet
 

Post Sun, Jun 26 2022, 11:20 am
If you go to a wedding you give a gift!
Though I have seen the gifts getting smaller recently.
For cousins perhaps all married cousins can give something together so it works out cheaper?
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