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Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> Preschoolers
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amother
OP
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 Sun, Jun 26 2022, 8:25 pm
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Our family is going on a trip next week where there will be a pool with separate hours for men and women. I have boys ages 4 and 5, and I would love to take them along to the pool. They have never been to a real swimming pool, I live in a city where it’s very hard to find a pool to rent. Is it appropriate to take them along with me when I go swimming? My husband hates the pool, so him taking the boys is not an option.
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amother
Wandflower
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Sun, Jun 26 2022, 8:30 pm
5 year olds are too old for mom hours unless it is specifically allowed. I would say 3 and under is ok to mix (girl with dads and boy with moms). But older than that isnt ok.
Your husband should go with them even if he hates the pool...
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amother
Lightcoral
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Sun, Jun 26 2022, 8:34 pm
Hating the pool is not a thing. He a frum dad of frum boys; he needs to do what he needs to do to
Parent them appropriately
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amother
Pewter
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Sun, Jun 26 2022, 8:36 pm
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You could always ask your husband if he’d rather have you take them to a mixed pool or take them himself during men’s hours. It’s not fair for your kids to miss out.
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amother
DarkCyan
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Sun, Jun 26 2022, 8:41 pm
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I think you can bring your boys to ladies swim they are little enough.
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teachkids
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Sun, Jun 26 2022, 8:45 pm
If I showed up at a ladies swim in a bathing suit , I would be uncomfortable with a boy over age 2 or 3 there and possibly leave. It's not fair to the other women who are counting on women's swim.
I would be ok bringing a boy under age 6 to a mixed beach or swimming pool (as long as I was dressed)
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amother
Puce
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Sun, Jun 26 2022, 8:48 pm
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I wouldn't expose boys that age to women in bathing suits. And it may put women in an uncomfortable position as well. Your husband needs to man up and suck it up. He doesn't have to like the pool to take his kids swimming.
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amother
Blueberry
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Sun, Jun 26 2022, 8:52 pm
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If you're asking this question, then it's a question to ask a rav. If people in your community are sensitive to this, rabbonim in those communities have guidelines of until what age it's considered ok for your community.
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amother
Hosta
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Sun, Jun 26 2022, 8:52 pm
Ask a rav! When I started in bungalow and it wasnt an option for my husband to take my little boys swimming, I asked around and was told yeshivish rabbanim in Lakewood say until 6 is not a problem. I have taken boys until almost 6. But the ladies weren't really lounging so much in bathing suits or bikinis. My son will be 5 in September will be swimming with girls no problem this summer. Next year, I will have to see what my options are.
We are yeshivish.
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yidisheh mama
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Sun, Jun 26 2022, 8:53 pm
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I think that it's fine if they are preschoolers - under age 6. But different people have different comfort levels so you need to find out the rules at that specific pool.
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amother
Chocolate
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Sun, Jun 26 2022, 9:29 pm
In my bung colony the age limit varies between families. Some stop at age 4. Some at age 6. I even saw an 8/9 year old in the pool when a guest came. Heidi she/chassidish crowd. There’s no bungalow colony rule, people go by what their family does. I take my 5 year old with me. He’s too little to go to the boys lifeguard swim, that’s age 6 and up. When my husband is around weekends then he goes with him. During the week he’s with me. I wouldn’t take a 6 year old because then they have th emotion to go with the lifeguard.
I’d ask the place your going if they have any rule. And if you can’t take your boys swimming, Even if your dh hates the pool he can just side on the side and watch them, he doesn’t need to swim. Put them on hand tubes or puddle jumpers, and they need to stay close to dh.
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amother
Lightyellow
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Sun, Jun 26 2022, 9:30 pm
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I would be very uncomfortable at ladies hours if someone showed up with a five year old boy. In fact I’d be pretty upset with them.
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amother
Blushpink
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Sun, Jun 26 2022, 9:38 pm
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In the Raleigh hotel, the rule is boys 7 and under could go during women's swim. We had a problem because dh didn't feel comfortable taking my autistic ds in the pool, but he was forced to once ds was too old to go with the women. When I was a kid, in my bungalow colony, it was considered acceptable until age 9 for boys to go to women's swim.
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mha3484
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Sun, Jun 26 2022, 9:43 pm
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My community has womens swim and no boys older then 3 can come.
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naomi2
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Sun, Jun 26 2022, 9:45 pm
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Find out what the policy is at the pool you are visiting.
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rmbg
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Sun, Jun 26 2022, 9:49 pm
| amother [ Lightyellow ] wrote: | | I would be very uncomfortable at ladies hours if someone showed up with a five year old boy. In fact I’d be pretty upset with them. |
Same.
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amother
Wandflower
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Sun, Jun 26 2022, 10:11 pm
| amother [ Chocolate ] wrote: | In my bung colony the age limit varies between families. Some stop at age 4. Some at age 6. I even saw an 8/9 year old in the pool when a guest came. Heidi she/chassidish crowd. There’s no bungalow colony rule, people go by what their family does. I take my 5 year old with me. He’s too little to go to the boys lifeguard swim, that’s age 6 and up. When my husband is around weekends then he goes with him. During the week he’s with me. I wouldn’t take a 6 year old because then they have th emotion to go with the lifeguard.
I’d ask the place your going if they have any rule. And if you can’t take your boys swimming, Even if your dh hates the pool he can just side on the side and watch them, he doesn’t need to swim. Put them on hand tubes or puddle jumpers, and they need to stay close to dh. |
I would be furious if a 9 year old boy came to womans swim. That is way too old and I would leave... but depending on if there is someone in charge/lifeguard etc I would make a comment and tell them that it is unacceptable to have womans swim but have boys old enough to have yichud issues with watching me in a swimsuit. It's just not appropriate.
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Shoshana Rose
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Sun, Jun 26 2022, 10:16 pm
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some colonies have 3 timings: women's hour, men's hour, and little boys time (mothers take them to pool but no bikini, or bathing suit for women) see if it could be an option .
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Chayalle
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Sun, Jun 26 2022, 10:18 pm
| amother [ Chocolate ] wrote: | In my bung colony the age limit varies between families. Some stop at age 4. Some at age 6. I even saw an 8/9 year old in the pool when a guest came. Heidi she/chassidish crowd. There’s no bungalow colony rule, people go by what their family does. I take my 5 year old with me. He’s too little to go to the boys lifeguard swim, that’s age 6 and up. When my husband is around weekends then he goes with him. During the week he’s with me. I wouldn’t take a 6 year old because then they have th emotion to go with the lifeguard.
I’d ask the place your going if they have any rule. And if you can’t take your boys swimming, Even if your dh hates the pool he can just side on the side and watch them, he doesn’t need to swim. Put them on hand tubes or puddle jumpers, and they need to stay close to dh. |
That's awful.
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amother
Brickred
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Sun, Jun 26 2022, 10:19 pm
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My colony has 2 hours where mothers can bring their boys to swim. Any age boy (up to age 12) since the moms are fully covered up.
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