Asperger's | Imamother

amother

Mon, Jun 27 2022, 9:42 pm

My ds had an appointment today with neurologist and we were told he has Asperger's and ADHD.... Anyone else have similar situation? Any advice?
Obviously we aren't telling people about the Asperger's....
But does that mean his going to have to date different because of it?
Idk I'm a bit confused and kinda sad

amother

Brown

Mon, Jun 27 2022, 10:09 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

On the spot the neurologist told you he has these diagnoses?
Did they do a in depth evaluation?

Also, he's 6.
Tey to get him to thrive and grow through his childhood and teenage years and take one day at a time, you really don't need to worry about shidduchim so early. It won't help to worry either.

amother

Snowdrop

Mon, Jun 27 2022, 10:24 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

6
I know I'm thinking way ahead
It's just ... I'm kinda processing...

Mental health today isn’t stigmatized the way it was 10 years ago and iyh by the time he starts shidduchim people will have learned to be even more accepting and appreciative of differences.

I have 1 child diagnosed with adhd and another who I suspect has Asperger’s. I can’t think about more than 1 year at a time, so I don’t.

paperflowers

Mon, Jun 27 2022, 10:26 pm

amother [ Brown ] wrote:

This, and also did the neurologist call it Aspergers? Because that’s not a diagnosis. The most similar diagnostic term would be autism spectrum disorder, level one.

Either way, it can be hard parenting a child with developmental differences and normal to worry about their future. But your son is still the same wonderful kid he always was. Hopefully the evaluation gave you a clearer picture of his strengths and weaknesses so you can help him thrive. Remember that he’s only 6 and it’s way to early to know what he’ll be like when he’s 20.

imasinger

Mon, Jun 27 2022, 10:34 pm

In general, it's good to think less about the label, and more about the child.

It's helpful to get good services. I'm a fan of ABA done right, some people here who had or heard about it done wrong are very much against it. Social pragmatics (with a speech therapist and/or social skills group), OT, learning frustration tolerance and flexibility, getting help to build executive functioning, possibly ADHD meds -- these are what can help him succeed.

You might want to join the parenting kids with ASD section of the board.

amother

Snapdragon

Mon, Jun 27 2022, 10:46 pm

OP, don't worry. He might need some therapy and help with social skills, but to give you an example, my child with aspergers had ABA, speech therapy in elementary and that helped tremendously. This child actually always got the best grades, and as a teen is doing well socially, goes to regular yeshiva. My advice is, get therapy now and it will help so much in the future. Don't worry, just love your child.

amother

DarkYellow

Mon, Jun 27 2022, 10:46 pm

"
In general, it's good to think less about the label, and more about the child."

This.

I don't plan on getting my daughter evaluated right now but she is currently in OT and therapy. I asked her OT if it would make any difference in treatment and she said she looks at each child and what they struggle with. She works on giving them the skills they need taking in to account their particular personality. The label isn't what actually matters.

gootlfriends

Mon, Jun 27 2022, 10:47 pm

It means socializing will always be a struggle for him. Adhd means change is hard and there is a lack of flexibility which can be worked on. With help, he will do well. And have strengths. My husband is detail oriented. So is my daughter. At 6 he may not show his uniqueness yet.

amother

NeonPurple

Mon, Jun 27 2022, 10:56 pm

If you are interested in reading up on root causes I highly recommend this book https://www.amazon.com/Healing.....r=8-1

amother

Snapdragon

Mon, Jun 27 2022, 11:36 pm

amother [ Jean ] wrote:

Diagnosis may change. Get him as much social skill help as possible.

This. Mine as a teen didn't even fit the diagnosis for aspergers even though as a child did. Therapy is key and as early as possible.

amother

Magenta

Tue, Jun 28 2022, 11:17 am

Why is it so obvious that you aren't telling people about the Asperger's?

My son has high-functioning autism and we don't keep it a secret at all. It just makes him more awesome.

BTW, any neurologist who used the term Asperger's is not up to date.

amother

Burgundy

Tue, Jun 28 2022, 11:36 am

Hi, just wanted to say hi, and I feel for you getting a diagnosis.

My son is 7 and on the autism spectrum.
Also no obvious presentation.

Personally I never felt the need to keep such news in.
We got a lot more help by being open about it.
Also , my child does need a lot of support do dont know how I would manage to keep it under wraps.

Hatzlocho with your journey.

amother

Puce

Tue, Jun 28 2022, 11:38 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

First, Asperger’s is no longer in the DSM so it is surprising you would get that diagnosis vs autism.

Second, why on earth would you hide something like that? Neurodiversity is to be celebrated. You are doing him no favors by pretending he doesn’t have it.

amother

Puce

Tue, Jun 28 2022, 11:41 am

amother [ NeonPurple ] wrote:

If you are interested in reading up on root causes I highly recommend this book https://www.amazon.com/Healing.....r=8-1

Autism is not new, it was just harder to get a diagnosis. Many people have “just” autism without allergies, adhd and asthma. There isn’t always a connection or a reason to blame what a parent is feeding their child.

amother

NeonPurple

Tue, Jun 28 2022, 11:52 am

amother [ Puce ] wrote:

You clearly haven’t read the book. He doesn’t claim that these 4 conditions are always comorbid, just that they have similar underlying pathophysiologies.

amother

Puce

Tue, Jun 28 2022, 1:18 pm

amother [ NeonPurple ] wrote:

You clearly haven’t read the book. He doesn’t claim that these 4 conditions are always comorbid, just that they have similar underlying pathophysiologies.

Actually, I have read the book, that wasn’t my point.