Teacher called my son by the wrong name all day

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Toddlers

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amother

Floralwhite

Tue, Jun 28 2022, 9:30 am

amother [ Quince ] wrote:

How many kids are there in this play group that it was so challenging for them to know his name and greet him by the correct name and call him by the right name at least most of the time?
smart you put a sticker on him Op
hope the morah calls and acknowledges and apologizes
and then you can be gracious about it

I would never expect an apology call for calling my toddler a wrong name on the first day.

amother

Ebony

Tue, Jun 28 2022, 9:50 am

Only on imamother have I encountered this awful unforgiving attitude towards playgroup morah's and the expectation for them to be above human angels.
It is the first day of playgroup for God's sake! The teacher got mixed up with the name and the kid is to young to correct the teacher. Oy nebach, what a grave sin. The teacher is a human being.
OP, your reaction towards the teacher was incredibly rude. This is a common mistake. Nothing happened to your child. It's not a dangerous situation. You can't be rude to the teacher for making a common error that did not effect your child.
(I wonder how you'll react when your child will bring home a different child's crafts god forbid. I pity that teacher.....)

amother

Maple

Tue, Jun 28 2022, 10:01 am

There is probably another child with the name Moshe, or else she had a child who looks similar to op's son last year with that name.

As a teacher (albeit for older children, so they correct me right away) who is bad with names, this is very normal for the first week or two of school. I find that there are always a couple of kids who look very similar or who remind me of a previous student and so I associate them with that name (until I get to know them thoroughly) and it is easy to mix up their names at first.

It really isn't a big deal the first week of school (although I assume this is camp). You can put on a name tag or say something in a nice, non confrontational way when you drop him off, but you are not doing yourself any favors to speak harshly to the teacher and it is over the top to expect an apology phone call. (If you say something nicely when you drop your child off, you will probably get an apology then. No reason to stand on ceremony and expect a teacher to formally flagellate herself on the phone for an honest mistake that really did not affect your child's care.) Don't get a reputation as "that parent" and be the one the teacher sees your number coming up on her phone and groans.

amother

Quince

Tue, Jun 28 2022, 10:06 am

Um ok
No problem with someone making a mistake
However guess we have been blessed to send to small groups where the teachers do their prep and make every effort to ensure the kids start off best and if they make an honest mistake acknowledge it - not talking about groveling.
I know plenty of friends who are morahs who would just say “so sorry!” And then the parents would be like “it’s fine” which means they know the kids name.
Glad your 18 month olds wouldn’t feel it had they been called the wrong name all day.
Not the worst thing ever by far obviously but guess some have different expectations.
If I had trouble with names you betcha I’d put welcome sticker names on each kid.
By far not a federal offense but why so defensive?

amother

Buttercup

Tue, Jun 28 2022, 11:24 am

amother [ Quince ] wrote:

Sometimes it's not that a morah doesn't remember, but that the parent wasn't so clear. Like when they fill out the application form they put on the legal name but don't put the name or nickname they want their child to be called by. Or the name sounds similar to another, like Chani/Shani.
Imagine you start a new job with a team of 10 people. Everyone is introduced to you the first time. But for whatever reason, maybe they remind you of someone else or something, but the wrong name sticks in your mind. If you know someone Rivka Chana and this is Rivka Chaya, or even if the names aren't so similar, it's really hard to remember the correct name. Particularly if you only heard it once and there's another 9 people to also remember the names of.

amother

Quince

Tue, Jun 28 2022, 11:45 am

That’s clearly not the situation op described.

amother

Quince

Tue, Jun 28 2022, 11:50 am

And if the parent hadn’t happened to hear then it would be ok if your kid was called the wrong name all summer? Sorry I just don’t get this
And I’m all for being dlkz
Didn’t say it’s unforgivable but not like par for the course either

amother

Quince

Tue, Jun 28 2022, 11:54 am

We are not talking about an hour long extracurricular with tons of big kids or something which would be a different story.

amother

Buttercup

Tue, Jun 28 2022, 12:01 pm

amother [ Quince ] wrote:

That’s clearly not the situation op described.

We don't know anything about the Morah's side. All we know that for some reason her son was called by a different name. I would rather give her the benefit of the doubt and assume there was some misunderstanding.
I find only on ima are morahs seen as being held to a much higher standard than anyone else. I'm not sure why morahs here are often portrayed as these terrible people who are out to get everyone and abuse children.

imaima

Tue, Jun 28 2022, 12:20 pm

amother [ Buttercup ] wrote:

You are exaggerating a lot.
But imagine it is a very young kid, morot need coordination: did he eat did he nap. All the while it is not even clear they are talking about the same kid! And he cannot correct them! And if they have a note that „Avi is allergic to dairy“ but they think he is Moshe and give him dairy?

Also, believe it or not a young child can get used to the name and think that’s their name! Happened to my kid. Teachers got used to calling her a certain way and she literally thought that’s the way she was supposed to be called! When I realized it took forever to make her classmates AND her teachers to stop.

amother

Sienna

Tue, Jun 28 2022, 12:27 pm

amother [ Ebony ] wrote:

Only on imamother have I encountered this awful unforgiving attitude towards playgroup morah's and the expectation for them to be above human angels.

Now you’re being silly. This was an easily preventable mistake. The kids should have been given name tags and Morah should have asked for a picture of each kid so she could write the name on the picture and check that way. I thought that was par for the course with morahs for that age group. Is the mixup terrible, no, but she should prevent it in the future.

amother

Phlox

Tue, Jun 28 2022, 6:58 pm

Er, I’ve done this. I taught older kids, but I would totally mix up kids names, the kids would laugh and I would correct myself. The Morah is human, she made a mistake. What is the big deal?

amother

Gold

Tue, Jun 28 2022, 8:45 pm

It’s really not a big deal. It happens. Gosh I mixup my own children’s names sometimes! Go over to her tomorrow and tell her the correct name clearly so she knows and then laugh it off.

zaq

Tue, Jun 28 2022, 8:57 pm

It's unfortunate but hardly weird. A morah has to learn a lot of new names very fast, and an 18-month-old is hardly old enough to correct her if she gets it wrong.( Don't you know people whose schoolteachers used to call them by the names of older siblings who had had the same teachers? ) It was nothing personal. Maybe your kid reminds her of a Moshe who was in the same group last year. Furthermore, it was just the first day. Just put a label on the kid's shirt for a few days. I'm surprised that the morahs didn't ask you to do so lechatchilah. It's what I would do were I a morah.

amother

Quince

Thu, Jun 30 2022, 8:18 am

amother [ Gold ] wrote:

It’s really not a big deal. It happens. Gosh I mixup my own children’s names sometimes! Go over to her tomorrow and tell her the correct name clearly so she knows and then laugh it off.

Yes but you KNOW who is who
And it’s a good thing op caught the error.
You are right the issue is to make sure it’s corrected
In the meantime can’t help but wonder if some teachers are just really burnt out based on some of these responses

amother

Carnation

Thu, Jun 30 2022, 8:24 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

My son is 18 months and it’s my first time sending him to a daycare/playgroup.

I did research and I’m sending him to a group that is more expensive then the rest but has a good reputation and a better adult/child ratio then the rest of the places nearby.

I called teacher after school to hear how he did (I called him by his name) and if he needed anything and she told me he was good ect.

My husband told me later that when he came to pick my son up the morahs were calling him Moshe and talking about him and if his name is Moshe.

His name isn’t Moshe! It isn’t anything close to Moshe.

I put a sticker on his shirt tomorrow with his name. I put his name on his lunchbox, backpack ect. I messaged the teacher with a picture of him and I told her his name and that she shouldn’t call him Moshe.
But I can’t believe they would call him the wrong name all day. And when I spoke to teacher she prob was talking about a different kid.

Is it normal to call kids the wrong name on the first day of school?

This is so normal! She probably didn't call him anything all day. She probably didn't remember his name. She just guessed the name and guessed wrong. It takes me a whole week to learn names. I call kids "pink shirt", "curly hair" in the beginning. I can be holding a kid on my lap all day and not know his name.

tweety1

Thu, Jun 30 2022, 9:56 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

You really expect the teacher to know all kids names the first day?? Even if it's a smaller ratio. It's the first day with a few kids or many. I'm saying this as somebody who sent multiple kids to playgroup.

tweety1

Thu, Jun 30 2022, 9:58 am

I'm reading the answers here and it's mind boggling how people are so judgmental woa! It's the first day of playgroup for heavens sake!!! Poster carnation! Thank you for your answer. I see you have some brains.

amother

Quince

Thu, Jun 30 2022, 10:19 am

Just use name labels.
Problem solved.

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