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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Teenagers and Older children
Dd first period 11.9 years old!!!!
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amother
Snowflake


 

Post Tue, Jun 28 2022, 8:49 am
you gotta calm down! Your nerves are fizzing through my screen!!

put a smile on your face take a deep breath and then tell her in a calm voice how happy you are and how wonderful it is that she is growing up. Show her your joy and pride in her becoming older! Think - this can't be a complete shock, she has probably begun breast development, its just another step. Everything else will fall into place... just breathe
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amother
Impatiens


 

Post Tue, Jun 28 2022, 9:53 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Thank you so much all of you. You really calmed me down. My mother was so emotionally absent from my life in my teenage years. I went to school with oily hair and no pads in my backpack. Went to camp without packing them along!!!!. Gained a lot of weight and my whole face was covered in pimples. traumatic years!!!.
I want to be the perfect mother and give her all I didn't get. Shes my first girl and the shock that shes entered adulthood was just such a trigger from my youth.
I love that one of you wrote that I should buy her ice cream.I started panicking this morning. I gave her a talk about hygiene but I think that talk came out of anxiety on my part not from love and caring ..
any more support on how to be a good mother to my first teenager? It means so so much to me!!!!

she can layer one pad on top of the other she will feel more secure during school hours.

lift off the used pad, dispose in trash can; there's an unused one right where it has to be.
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imaima




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 28 2022, 12:41 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
What vitamins ?


By Michael‘s naturopathic.
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amother
Cornsilk


 

Post Tue, Jun 28 2022, 12:44 pm
OP this is absolutely the average age. OOC joe old we’re you that you seem so shocked that she got hers?
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amother
Currant


 

Post Tue, Jun 28 2022, 12:59 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I had such a shock she told me today she saw blood. Shes been in a crazy mood lately. Started gaining a lot of weight from craving carbs. started getting acne. Im freaaking out. This is so young.
Pls help me...
Anyone dd got theirs before 12? she turning 12 in 0ctober.
Any advice??
pimples? mood swings? any supplements!??
she also under 5 foot will she still grow???
Im so nervous, not sure why?
I guess its triggering something from my inner child. My mom never prepared hygiene wise. She told me about periods but not how to take care of myself. I want my dd to have all the help she can.
ANY ADVICE

I was 11 when I got my period. I felt like a big girl and was happy. Mazel Tov to your daughter. I continued to grow after I got my period. I am 50 and still have them btw.

My only advice is if she is a swimmer, let her use tampons.
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Jun 28 2022, 1:09 pm
Thank u so so much. You cant imagine what every reply means to me. I feel like, a bunch of caring moms holding my hand.
Such a good idea to layer the pads for school. I checked out those vitamins, I think shes too young to swallow such large pills but they look amazing.
Keep advice coming.... They all mean so much and helps me stay calm and just transition in this new stage calmly.
You all get big zchus xxxx
now I can see how valuable my imamother sisters are to me
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Jun 28 2022, 1:10 pm
amother [ Currant ] wrote:
I was 11 when I got my period. I felt like a big girl and was happy. Mazel Tov to your daughter. I continued to grow after I got my period. I am 50 and still have them btw.

My only advice is if she is a swimmer, let her use tampons.


can she start wearing tampons now? I never tried one
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Librarian




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 28 2022, 1:17 pm
I was 11.5. Still grew. 52 and not in menopause yet
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amother
Currant


 

Post Tue, Jun 28 2022, 1:18 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
can she start wearing tampons now? I never tried one

I was a swimmer and wore them from aged 11.
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amother
Currant


 

Post Tue, Jun 28 2022, 1:20 pm
Librarian wrote:
I was 11.5. Still grew. 52 and not in menopause yet

I wonder if there is a correlation between starting young and finishing later? I am dreading getting pregnant in my 50s. 😱

Sorry OP, don’t want to derail the thread.
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PeanutMama




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 28 2022, 1:22 pm
My mother got her period when she was like 8. I got mine when I was 11 and a school friend got hers at 16. Everyone’s different.

Go out with her and celebrate:)
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amother
Garnet


 

Post Tue, Jun 28 2022, 1:32 pm
She can use tampons now. Use the smallest ones you can find / ones for teens.

FYI, I am willing to bet that at least 1/3 if not more that 1/2 her friends have their period already and unless you are in a community where this is very hush- hush, they talk about it.

I would say 11.0-13.0 is very average age. Some get as young as 9 and a few as late as 15. 11.9 is super normal.
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amother
Buttercup


 

Post Tue, Jun 28 2022, 1:33 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:

I want to be the perfect mother and give her all I didn't get.
any more support on how to be a good mother to my first teenager? It means so so much to me!!!!


You will be a much better mother if you don’t aim for perfection…
Just aim for supportive and compassionate. Be available. And kind.
Perfection is a road to anxiety and disappointment.
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Librarian




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 28 2022, 1:41 pm
amother [ Currant ] wrote:
I wonder if there is a correlation between starting young and finishing later? I am dreading getting pregnant in my 50s. 😱

Sorry OP, don’t want to derail the thread.



Highly unlikely. But get an IUD just in case
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amother
DarkViolet


 

Post Tue, Jun 28 2022, 1:47 pm
I got my period when I was 11 and 6 months and my daughters ranged from 11.5-12.5. As a mother of several teen and older daughters, here are my suggestions from experience:

1. Designate a place in the bathroom for pads and tell her to let you know when she is running low. She should feel comfortable talking to you about it, but don't assume she will tell you whenever she gets her period and that's okay too. Make sure to check the supply and ask her if she needs more. Also, she may want different sizes for during the day and overnight, so get both if that's what she wants.

2. Buy your daughter a cute small zipper pouch (not see through) that she can either keep in her locker or backpack with extra pads. You can usually find in Target or Walmart. Even if she does the double pad thing, it's good to have extras available.

3. Get a hot water bottle, if you don't already have one, and give it to your daughter to use if she has cramps. I am wary of extra supplements, but tell my girls they can take Motrin if they need to.

4. For future reference if you have other girls, I found that the best reply when your daughter tells you about her first period is "Mazel Tov!". I explained to my girls that it means their body is working the way it should be so that IYH one day they will be able to have babies.

Hope this helps!
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amother
Moonstone


 

Post Tue, Jun 28 2022, 1:55 pm
I got my period at 9.5 and I was traumatized. I start preparing my daughters for puberty at age 9 so they'll have a better experience than I did. So far my oldest got her period at 11.5. She was very matter of fact about it. I took her out for ice cream to celebrate and bought her a chocolate bar to help her feel better. She sometimes finds a hot water bottle helps her sleep at night when she has cramps. I bought her all types of pads and tampons to try out and by now she's picked the ones she likes best so I keep them in stock for her.
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saralem




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 28 2022, 2:56 pm
I love what ima dark violet just said. That’s perfect. Make it normal and fun! I still recall what my mom said to me when I got my first period. “This is something you can expect for many many years to come. If you feel crampy or headachy take some Tylenol and keep moving.” She never made a big deal out of it and taught me to accept this as just part of my life. She also was fine with me using tampons from the start. I always thought of my period as a healthy thing and didn’t dread it.
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amother
Currant


 

Post Tue, Jun 28 2022, 3:45 pm
Librarian wrote:
Highly unlikely. But get an IUD just in case

I am not going to as I use the menstrual cup now and my understanding is that the two aren’t so compatible.
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amother
Yarrow


 

Post Tue, Jun 28 2022, 4:07 pm
I'm late 50s and got mine at about 11.5
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Jun 28 2022, 5:34 pm
Thank you all once again. I went from a panicked mom to a calm one thanks to you all. Since I suffered socially as a child, I always blamed my neglected oblivious look for it. When I see dd with pimples I think help will she have friends. When I see her taking pads, I see a little me cluelessly wearing the same one all day and having to borrow one from friends. I remember the whole class going swimming whilst I sat at the side watching cos I had my period..poor little me. dd is bH so much more carefree and happier than I was as a child bH!!..I need a lot of inner child work. I thought Ill have myself sorted by time my dd gets to teenage years and suddenly shes reached this milestone. I feel Im still this sad desperate teenager, still looking for reassurance and guidance.

The fact that you all calmed me down that 11.9 is normal made me feel so much better
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