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Babysitter keeps bringing up $$$
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amother




OP
 

Post Wed, Jun 29 2022, 7:51 am
I hired a babysitter in my house this year.
Main job is to watch my baby, and also watch my toddler before/after school, on days there is no school, etc and some light housework, all of which I was up front about.

She keeps bringing up $$, how people offer her more $$, etc etc
She'll respond to job postings seeking a babysitter and then tell me people are reaching out to her begging her to babysit. Or telling me she can get more $$ elsewhere.
Especially when older DC is off from school (and is a handful) she always says how she usually charges more money for another child blah blah but this was the terms of our arrangement.
This all weirds me out.
There are other small things but she is really good with the baby and baby loves her, and I know that's hard to find, so I'm feeling conflicted.
One the one hand, she shows up daily, and the other hand I feel like she just might quit on me.
She has been working long enough that I feel like she should stop bringing up money all the time, we agreed to a price and I don't know the correct way to shut this down.

Should I look for someone else?
Any other advice?
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amother




Maize
 

Post Wed, Jun 29 2022, 7:58 am
"this is what we agreed to salarywise, but we can revisit it in x amount of time"
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amother




Zinnia
 

Post Wed, Jun 29 2022, 8:00 am
I would be super annoyed too. Can you start a thread asking how much people are paying for a babysitter in your town just to make sure you are paying market rate? It's an employees market now...
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watergirl




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Jun 29 2022, 8:07 am
Be honest with yourself. Are you paying her the going rate? Is it time to revisit the agreement? Maybe it would sweeten the pot to add an extra dollar or two when she watches your other child. If she's been with you a year, raising her a dollar an hour or whatever is appropriate. Just like there are threads upon threads on here from other employees who don't get raises, or who get a COL raise but it doesn't match inflation, an annual raise for a babysitter is appropriate as well. She is bringing up money because she wants a raise. It's not wrong of her. You are going to lose her if you won't raise her.
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#BestBubby




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Jun 29 2022, 8:08 am
You have to answer two questions:

1. If your babysitter quit, how hard would it be to find a replacement?

2. How much would you pay the replacement?

I think you need to renegotiate. But get a signed contract with a stated penalty for breaking contract.
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Fave




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Jun 29 2022, 8:10 am
In the weeks that she is taking care of your toddler all day, I would definitely pay a bonus.

You should consider paying more to match the going rate.
It’s not worth it to have a grumpy babysitter and if you need to get a new one you will be forced to pay the higher rate regardless.
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amother




Clear
 

Post Wed, Jun 29 2022, 8:12 am
#BestBubby wrote:
You have to answer two questions:

1. If your babysitter quit, how hard would it be to find a replacement?

2. How much would you pay the replacement?

I think you need to renegotiate. But get a signed contract with a stated penalty for breaking contract.


Penalty? What kind of penalty can one impose on a babysitter? This isn't like a lease where you can keep their deposit. And if you're thinking she'll withhold the week's pay, these people are always smart enough to quit right after being paid in full.
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DustyDiamonds




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Jun 29 2022, 8:20 am
amother [ Clear ] wrote:
Penalty? What kind of penalty can one impose on a babysitter? This isn't like a lease where you can keep their deposit. And if you're thinking she'll withhold the week's pay, these people are always smart enough to quit right after being paid in full.


Some people assume the worst about other humans, and in all their interactions, judge unfavorably. BestBubby, you’d have a happier life if you’d take a minute to get out of your own perspective, and understand that other people have different ways of looking at things than you do. It’s called empathy. It makes for kind people.
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#BestBubby




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Jun 29 2022, 8:23 am
DustyDiamonds wrote:
Some people assume the worst about other humans, and in all their interactions, judge unfavorably. BestBubby, you’d have a happier life if you’d take a minute to get out of your own perspective, and understand that other people have different ways of looking at things than you do. It’s called empathy. It makes for kind people.


Yes, you are one of those someone's who judge unfavorably.

And the person you directed your comment to was not even me.
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amother




Teal
 

Post Wed, Jun 29 2022, 8:38 am
DustyDiamonds wrote:
Some people assume the worst about other humans, and in all their interactions, judge unfavorably. BestBubby, you’d have a happier life if you’d take a minute to get out of your own perspective, and understand that other people have different ways of looking at things than you do. It’s called empathy. It makes for kind people.


I think an apology is due. Your attack on BestBubby is unwarranted.
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Amarante




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Jun 29 2022, 8:59 am
I am not sure what advice you need to know.

Are you paying her the going rate?

Given the current market for labor and that you trust her with her children, how difficult would your life be if she quit and you had to replace her?

Personally I would determine what the going rate is and then offer to raise her a bit more assuming you want to retain her services. This would make it unlikely that she would leave and you would have a very happy employee.
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ladYdI




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Jun 29 2022, 9:22 am
I would add a dollar or 2 for every hour she watches a second kid. I think it will be a worthwhile investment if you like her and want her to stay and keep her happy.
My lady asked me for extra money for pesach cleaning and I added $25 a day for the 2 days the 3 weeks before pesach. I wanted to keep her happy and couldn’t think of her leaving me. But it makes sense to both of us and it was only until pesach.
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Bnei Berak 10




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Jun 29 2022, 9:36 am
DustyDiamonds wrote:
Some people assume the worst about other humans, and in all their interactions, judge unfavorably. BestBubby, you’d have a happier life if you’d take a minute to get out of your own perspective, and understand that other people have different ways of looking at things than you do. It’s called empathy. It makes for kind people.

I kindly disagree with you.
It has nothing to do with what one assumes or not. The mere fact that there is a paragraph mentioning breaking contract should be enough to deter anyone to think of bowing out in the middle of the year. We have batei din, right?
If you don't state it and babysitter does quit in the middle of the year without notice we will have another in another here posting her babysitter quit and she doesn't know what to do etc etc.
I think BestBubby's suggestion will become more common as it's an employees market and hardworking mothers need to protect themselves.
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Amarante




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Jun 29 2022, 9:41 am
Bnei Berak 10 wrote:
I kindly disagree with you.
It has nothing to do with what one assumes or not. The mere fact that there is a paragraph mentioning breaking contract should be enough to deter anyone to think of bowing out in the middle of the year. We have batei din, right?
If you don't state it and babysitter does quit in the middle of the year without notice we will have another in another here posting her babysitter quit and she doesn't know what to do etc etc.
I think BestBubby's suggestion will become more common as it's an employees market and hardworking mothers need to protect themselves.


The reality is that you don't have an enforceable employment contract with a babysitter and any kind of "penalty" would be illegal because under the law you are required to pay a worker for whatever hours they have worked.

And also - at least with people I have employed either as domestic workers or in a traditional work setting - I have found the carrot to be a far more motivating approach than a stick.
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amother




Grape
 

Post Wed, Jun 29 2022, 9:45 am
Good luck getting a per diem babysitter to sign a contract locking her in for an entire year unless you are paying benefits such as giving vacation time, health insurance, withholding taxes (w-2 situation) etc....there's a reason these kind of jobs often have high turnover.....

Op, she's obviously hinting for a raise and that she's looking elsewere for either an easier or higher paying position. My advice is to either take the hint and give a raise, or be resigned that she may leave you once she finds something else. You have to decide what she's worth to you, as well as how easy/hard it will be to replace her.
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DustyDiamonds




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Jun 29 2022, 9:46 am
OP, my apologies for detailing your thread.

BestBubby, my apologies if I was overly harsh.

The concept of issuing a penalty in a signed contract with someone who is considered to be doing unskilled labor, such as a babysitter, will not hold weight as a deterrent.

I must have been triggered to see BB suggesting putting a penalty in place to threaten the babysitter. My mother regularly issues all kinds of threats to people who have, or may potentially, displease her, and BB’s attitude is so similar to hers in many posts.
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#BestBubby




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Jun 29 2022, 10:32 am
Thank you, Dusty Diamonds.
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Jello




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Jun 29 2022, 10:35 am
amother [ Grape ] wrote:
Good luck getting a per diem babysitter to sign a contract locking her in for an entire year unless you are paying benefits such as giving vacation time, health insurance, withholding taxes (w-2 situation) etc....there's a reason these kind of jobs often have high turnover.....

Op, she's obviously hinting for a raise and that she's looking elsewere for either an easier or higher paying position. My advice is to either take the hint and give a raise, or be resigned that she may leave you once she finds something else. You have to decide what she's worth to you, as well as how easy/hard it will be to replace her.


Absolutely this!
It's your call -- if she's really a great babysitter, it's worth investing the extra money to give her a salary that will make her happy to stay with you for as long as you need her. If not, you should probably start looking for someone else because she will leave as soon as she gets a better offer -- and that's her privilege!
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amother




Royalblue
 

Post Wed, Jun 29 2022, 12:36 pm
ladYdI wrote:
I would add a dollar or 2 for every hour she watches a second kid. I think it will be a worthwhile investment if you like her and want her to stay and keep her happy.
My lady asked me for extra money for pesach cleaning and I added $25 a day for the 2 days the 3 weeks before pesach. I wanted to keep her happy and couldn’t think of her leaving me. But it makes sense to both of us and it was only until pesach.


I disagree about different rates for different time. This is the job. Most days it’s just the baby some days it the toddler also. Maybe you need to renegotiate. Maybe you need to find someone who isn’t always looking over their shoulder…that’s something you have to decide.

I have a similar Situation in terms of when the big kids are home for vacation it’s harder on my nanny. Remember to verbalize your appreciation to her on those day. Give her a heads up on the schedule changes approaching. Treating your staff like a mentch goes a long way. It doesn’t compensate for underpayment if that’s an issue here, but it definitely sweetens the deal and fosters a good relationship, which IMO is very important with this kind of employee.
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Bnei Berak 10




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Jun 29 2022, 12:49 pm
Amarante wrote:
The reality is that you don't have an enforceable employment contract with a babysitter and any kind of "penalty" would be illegal because under the law you are required to pay a worker for whatever hours they have worked.

And also - at least with people I have employed either as domestic workers or in a traditional work setting - I have found the carrot to be a far more motivating approach than a stick.

Of course employee should be paid for hours done! I agree carrot is more effective but the stick could sometimes have it's time and place.
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