Babysitter keeps bringing up $$$

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Infants

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amother

Wed, Jun 29 2022, 12:52 pm

amother [ Royalblue ] wrote:

I disagree about different rates for different time. This is the job. Most days it’s just the baby some days it the toddler also. Maybe you need to renegotiate. Maybe you need to find someone who isn’t always looking over their shoulder…that’s something you have to decide.

I have a similar Situation in terms of when the big kids are home for vacation it’s harder on my nanny. Remember to verbalize your appreciation to her on those day. Give her a heads up on the schedule changes approaching. Treating your staff like a mentch goes a long way. It doesn’t compensate for underpayment if that’s an issue here, but it definitely sweetens the deal and fosters a good relationship, which IMO is very important with this kind of employee.

I was up front when hiring that these are my needs.
You said it well, I feel like she's always looking over her shoulder, and brings it up at least once in 2 weeks.
It's not like she is working here that long that the price we agreed upon should just change.

I absolutely show my appreciation and don't nitpick when I don't like certain things she does.

It's the attitude that she keeps checking how much other people are paying.

Also, I need her for many hours, and even if I raised her $1, I can tell she would say others are paying $3 more etc. + I don't think I can Wing it financially. It's 40 hours a week.
I sometimes feel I should have done a weekly salary. Example $600/wk.

amother

Wed, Jun 29 2022, 12:54 pm

amother [ Maize ] wrote:

"this is what we agreed to salarywise, but we can revisit it in x amount of time"

She brought it up AGAIN today.
So I told her this.

amother

Celeste

Wed, Jun 29 2022, 1:06 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

She brought it up AGAIN today.
So I told her this.

What was her response? Based on what you wrote I’d worry that she’d just up and leave you when something better comes along.

amother

Wed, Jun 29 2022, 1:47 pm

amother [ Celeste ] wrote:

What was her response? Based on what you wrote I’d worry that she’d just up and leave you when something better comes along.

She's been doing this for months.
And she didn't start that long ago.
After a year, it's one thing. It's the backhanded way she does it.

Her response is always no, no I'm not saying anything negative I just want you to know. I love DC and I help you..... but you should know.

The response is always the same.

tichellady

Wed, Jun 29 2022, 2:30 pm

I think She thinks you can afford to pay her more. So you need to be clear about what you can afford and when she can expect to discuss a raise or bonus etc

amother

Turquoise

Wed, Jun 29 2022, 2:35 pm

ugh this would drive me nuts
I would probably tell her nicely that I don't want to stop her if she thinks she can find a better job etc than while I would love for her to stay I don't want to stand in her way.
I would not want her to feel she has me over a barrel.

4g01o

Wed, Jun 29 2022, 2:45 pm

tichellady wrote:

I think She thinks you can afford to pay her more. So you need to be clear about what you can afford and when she can expect to discuss a raise or bonus etc

It's non of her business how much her boss can afford! Does she have access to her bank statements? Does she know her boss's outgoing expenses? I think not.

OP, you need to tell her not to keep bringing up a pay rise as its making you uncomfortable. When you hire next time, state a weekly amount, not hourly. And I think you should pay extra for her to look after your older dc.

gamanit

Wed, Jun 29 2022, 2:51 pm

I'm guessing she's not really covering her own expenses well and is unhappy with the salary you are paying her. She's generally happy with the job so she doesn't just want to walk out on you but she does feel like she can do better elsewhere. It's probably worthwhile for you to find out what the going rate actually is now before she ends up deciding that it is worth it for her to pursue one of the other options that came up.

tichellady

Wed, Jun 29 2022, 2:52 pm

Fab4 wrote:

Oh I agree. I’m just guessing that this is what’s happening. Not condoning it

amother

Nemesia

Wed, Jun 29 2022, 3:08 pm

My nanny asked me fir gas money due to the increase

amother

Celeste

Wed, Jun 29 2022, 3:10 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Ugh. I’d look for a replacement just for that alone. It would drive me crazy. You agreed on a rate, be happy with that rate.

amother

Celeste

Wed, Jun 29 2022, 3:11 pm

amother [ Nemesia ] wrote:

My nanny asked me fir gas money due to the increase

That’s a better option than a per hour raise.

amother

Wed, Jun 29 2022, 3:21 pm

Fab4 wrote:

when I was hiring, and I interviewed multiple candidates, I explained that I needed daily coverage for my older DC before and after school and on off days from school.
This was part of the original terms of our arrangement, not something I sprung on her.

amother

Wed, Jun 29 2022, 3:23 pm

amother [ Nemesia ] wrote:

My nanny asked me fir gas money due to the increase

She actually told me today that "one of her friends EVEN gets transportation one way."
But she walks to me!

One of the reasons I hired her is that she is walking distance, and I won't have to worry about transportation issues during a snowstorm!

amother

Wed, Jun 29 2022, 3:26 pm

gamanit wrote:

The rate is $15-20 an hour.
It's not doable for me to up my rate.

Also, I try to be easygoing in exchange.
I don't pressure her regarding schedules or housework because I am trying to keep her happy.

amother

Wed, Jun 29 2022, 3:26 pm

amother [ Celeste ] wrote:

Ugh. I’d look for a replacement just for that alone. It would drive me crazy. You agreed on a rate, be happy with that rate.

But the baby loves her.
I don't take that for granted.

That's the most important to me.

OldSoul

Wed, Jun 29 2022, 3:33 pm

Before saying anything to the babysitter - I would confirm with other Mom's that you are paying the going rate in your neighborhood.

amother

Wed, Jun 29 2022, 3:38 pm

OldSoul wrote:

Before saying anything to the babysitter - I would confirm with other Mom's that you are paying the going rate in your neighborhood.

She is the one who keeps bringing it up.

zigi

Wed, Jun 29 2022, 4:12 pm

Even if you have a weekly rate the way she sounds that she would want to ask for more

OldSoul

Wed, Jun 29 2022, 4:14 pm

Why don't you just ask her "why, she keeps bringing it up? What changed. Is she an inexperienced sitter, did she accept a rate that she has since learned was too low, is the toddler tough to handle . In my experience - dealing with babysitters and aides - if you like /respect her/trust her judgement - just ask. She might have some very valid points that you are not aware of. Listening to her, does not mean you have to respond w/ an immediate answer or the answer she wants. I would listen to her reasoning and tell her you will get back to her. (Give you time to think it over/come back on here, etc). You can always say that you heard her, but the original agreement stands. I feel you have nothing to lose by listening to her and opening a dialogue I would only do this for a babysitter/aide that I liked, otherwise - start looking asap.

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