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Babysitter keeps bringing up $$$
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amother




Turquoise
 

Post Wed, Jun 29 2022, 6:32 pm
Sounds like a personality
Where did she work before you?
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amother




Plum
 

Post Wed, Jun 29 2022, 6:44 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
She actually told me today that "one of her friends EVEN gets transportation one way."
But she walks to me!

One of the reasons I hired her is that she is walking distance, and I won't have to worry about transportation issues during a snowstorm!


Next time she brings it up, why don't you say "Bruchie, I really appreciate you, you are such a great babysitter but this is my budget and this is what I can offer. Unfortunately, I can't offer transportation either. If this is something that's a deal breaker for you, I would completely understand if you wanted to leave."
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amother




Celeste
 

Post Wed, Jun 29 2022, 7:07 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
But the baby loves her.
I don't take that for granted.

That's the most important to me.
I hear you. In that case I would let her comments slide off you. So she likes talking about others’ money. Say what you need to and then change the subject.
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amother




OP
 

Post Wed, Jun 29 2022, 7:32 pm
OldSoul wrote:
Why don't you just ask her "why, she keeps bringing it up? What changed. Is she an inexperienced sitter, did she accept a rate that she has since learned was too low, is the toddler tough to handle . In my experience - dealing with babysitters and aides - if you like /respect her/trust her judgement - just ask. She might have some very valid points that you are not aware of. Listening to her, does not mean you have to respond w/ an immediate answer or the answer she wants. I would listen to her reasoning and tell her you will get back to her. (Give you time to think it over/come back on here, etc). You can always say that you heard her, but the original agreement stands. I feel you have nothing to lose by listening to her and opening a dialogue I would only do this for a babysitter/aide that I liked, otherwise - start looking asap.


She'll answer that she wants me to know what people are offering her.
That people are begging her to babysit for them! (That's not true. She is answering ads for people looking for a babysitter and assign them how much their offering and then they ask her if she's available.. she's showed me the messages, I'm a quick reader.)
And she "just wants me know..."
But she's "not saying anything negative"

I told her today what someone posted - that this is what WE agreed upon, and what the ladies in the park are talking about has nothing to do with the terms we agreed to.
If she wants to revisit it after she's been here for a year, then we can do that.
The reason I'm staying with her is because y baby likes her.
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amother




OP
 

Post Wed, Jun 29 2022, 7:37 pm
amother [ Plum ] wrote:
Next time she brings it up, why don't you say "Bruchie, I really appreciate you, you are such a great babysitter but this is my budget and this is what I can offer. Unfortunately, I can't offer transportation either. If this is something that's a deal breaker for you, I would completely understand if you wanted to leave."


So I've told her (in the last few weeks, because like I said it keeps coming up) that I really appreciate her, she is a great babysitter, that I try really hard to treat her nicely and show appreciation.

So I think next time it comes up (and I know it will! Friday maybe?) I will use your first 2 sentences and then reiterate that we really appreciate her, she is a great babysitter, that I try really hard to treat her nicely and show appreciation and I hope she knows that.
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Amarante




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Jun 29 2022, 7:39 pm
Bnei Berak 10 wrote:
Of course employee should be paid for hours done! I agree carrot is more effective but the stick could sometimes have it's time and place.


What kind of stick do propose for a hourly babysitter?
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WhatFor




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Jun 29 2022, 8:00 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
She'll answer that she wants me to know what people are offering her.
That people are begging her to babysit for them! (That's not true. She is answering ads for people looking for a babysitter and assign them how much their offering and then they ask her if she's available.. she's showed me the messages, I'm a quick reader.)
And she "just wants me know..."
But she's "not saying anything negative"

I told her today what someone posted - that this is what WE agreed upon, and what the ladies in the park are talking about has nothing to do with the terms we agreed to.
If she wants to revisit it after she's been here for a year, then we can do that.
The reason I'm staying with her is because y baby likes her.


So in these messages she's showing you, people are offering her more? If she's reaching out to them, then she's probably looking for other opportunities for higher pay. If these other opportunities exist, she'll probably eventually end up taking them up on it. At the end of the day she's doing this for the money, and if she can make more for a similar job, she'll probably eventually take it.
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Amarante




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Jun 29 2022, 8:15 pm
WhatFor wrote:
So in these messages she's showing you, people are offering her more? If she's reaching out to them, then she's probably looking for other opportunities for higher pay. If these other opportunities exist, she'll probably eventually end up taking them up on it. At the end of the day she's doing this for the money, and if she can make more for a similar job, she'll probably eventually take it.


I am not understanding what is going on.

If OP is not paying what others are paying eventually the babysitter will take another position.

There are certain factors that make people stay at jobs which is probably why she hasn't taken a position and is hoping that you will raise her enough so that she won't have to make that decision. For starters she probably also appreciates that it is an easy commute and she is more or less comfortable in your house - knows the routine and the children. These kinds of "comfort levels" are why anyone is reluctant to plunge into a new job.
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amother




Grape
 

Post Wed, Jun 29 2022, 8:17 pm
Sounds like she has one foot out the door, tbh, unless op makes it worth her while to stay. If it's not babysitting, it might be a different type of job. Best to be mentally prepared to start looking for a new babysitter, since it sounds like raising her pay is not an option.
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amother




Grape
 

Post Wed, Jun 29 2022, 8:22 pm
Amarante wrote:
What kind of stick do propose for a hourly babysitter?

Yeah, plus any kind of "stick" and she's out of there just as soon as she gets another offer, even if it's not for more pay.
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amother




Cerise
 

Post Wed, Jun 29 2022, 8:30 pm
OP she’s clearly looking for another job, at least she’s giving you warning.
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amother




NeonYellow
 

Post Wed, Jun 29 2022, 8:39 pm
If you don’t want to pay more, I’d look for someone else. She may leave you at an inconvenient time, and leave you scrambling to find a replacement.
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amother




Turquoise
 

Post Wed, Jun 29 2022, 8:41 pm
amother [ NeonYellow ] wrote:
If you don’t want to pay more, I’d look for someone else. She may leave you at an inconvenient time, and leave you scrambling to find a replacement.


Agree
sadly this profile portends that she will leave the minute she can and likely at a most inconvenient time for you
I would find someone else and choose the timing of the transition
and tbh it sounds really passive aggressive and unpleasant
good luck
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amother




Celeste
 

Post Wed, Jun 29 2022, 8:44 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
She'll answer that she wants me to know what people are offering her.
That people are begging her to babysit for them! (That's not true. She is answering ads for people looking for a babysitter and assign them how much their offering and then they ask her if she's available.. she's showed me the messages, I'm a quick reader.)
And she "just wants me know..."
But she's "not saying anything negative"

She’s actively looking for a new job then. If I were you I’d start looking for a replacement. You can’t keep someone who only cares about the number on the paycheck unless you’re able to give the highest paycheck. Lots of nannies would appreciate your good attitude as an employer. This one doesn’t.
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amother




OP
 

Post Wed, Jun 29 2022, 9:25 pm
The pay is between $15-20 an hour.
I pay $15.

I think most people pay $15, and there are people here and there who pay more.

The people who are offering $20/hour are not offering $20 for full time help.

More like 3-4 hours a day, 2-4 days a week.

If I only needed someone for that short I would also pay more, that's how it works, it has to be worthwhile for the babysitter.
When I ask around, $15 is definitely the going rate.

It is passive aggressive and unpleasant, but I'm worried about finding a competent babysitter.

I asked her straight up why she is messaging people, and she said she was doing it for her friend, blah blah, I said you have a job I treat you well why are you doing this?

And she says no no she's leaving she kust wants me to know... its been like this since almost the beginning probably.

(She tried working for others for after she left my house for 2 hours. None lasted more than a week. I've told her that I treat her well, it isn't all rosy as she's seen.)

Again, $15 is market rate.

I am not underpaying her or lowballing her.
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amother




Nemesia
 

Post Thu, Jun 30 2022, 9:38 am
That may be the going rate but most charge more if there’s another child.
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amother




Grape
 

Post Thu, Jun 30 2022, 9:41 am
amother [ Nemesia ] wrote:
That may be the going rate but most charge more if there’s another child.

Definitely more if housework is involved.
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skyeblue




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Jul 06 2022, 12:10 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
The pay is between $15-20 an hour.
I pay $15.

I think most people pay $15, and there are people here and there who pay more.

The people who are offering $20/hour are not offering $20 for full time help.

More like 3-4 hours a day, 2-4 days a week.

If I only needed someone for that short I would also pay more, that's how it works, it has to be worthwhile for the babysitter.
When I ask around, $15 is definitely the going rate.

It is passive aggressive and unpleasant, but I'm worried about finding a competent babysitter.

I asked her straight up why she is messaging people, and she said she was doing it for her friend, blah blah, I said you have a job I treat you well why are you doing this?

And she says no no she's leaving she kust wants me to know... its been like this since almost the beginning probably.

(She tried working for others for after she left my house for 2 hours. None lasted more than a week. I've told her that I treat her well, it isn't all rosy as she's seen.)

Again, $15 is market rate.

I am not underpaying her or lowballing her.


OP, I don't think you can stop her from looking into other jobs nor from "casually" mentioning them to you. This is just what she does. Don't stress yourself trying to control what she says.

I agreed with previous poster who said your babysitter will leave as soon as something better paying comes up. If you can't afford to pay her more, either let her comments slide off you and be ready to deal with her quitting at an inopportune time. Or look for someone new now. There are other good babysitters out there (just as there are better employers).

Also, if the going rate is $15-20/HR, and you're paying $15, then you're paying a competitive rate. There are women who I'm sure would accept less.
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potatoes




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Jul 06 2022, 1:43 am
My concern for myself would be- can I fully trust her with my child if she is always nagging about money and only only doing this for money and it bothers her so much will it effect the care of my child etc
Her attitude bothers me. Would probably make me not trust her

A mature adult brings up money discussion normally.
Ex. We agreed on cuz. I’m feeling like I would like/need more when the toddler is under my care. Is that possible? Also she should donexact numbers homework before coming to you and asking, even in a normal discussion. To maturely request her desires. And you have a choice how to respond . I’d start with listening and saying let me think about it and I’ll get back to you in a week or so. And maybe do some comps myself , check in with others etc and see if what I’m doing makes sense, is worth it for me.

I just don’t like shtick!! I have experience with babysitters that were so into the money if something got them annoyed that day in their personal life they weren’t as great with the kid.

There needs to be balance. Love children and want to work with them. And get paid fairly for her work. Both require maturity

I have my own horror stories with babysitters that were good with the baby but the attitude stank about anything specific, and I learned the hard way to sense and differ , what is a mature need they are requesting and I should accommodate since they are worth it, and when someone doesn’t talk straight and just complains, it’s not for me and the baby ends up suffering too, eventually.
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WhatFor




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Jul 06 2022, 4:03 am
amother [ Celeste ] wrote:
She’s actively looking for a new job then. If I were you I’d start looking for a replacement. You can’t keep someone who only cares about the number on the paycheck unless you’re able to give the highest paycheck. Lots of nannies would appreciate your good attitude as an employer. This one doesn’t.


For most employees, one of the most important thing is the number on the paycheck. Most people don't use work as an opportunity to volunteer, and the people in the lowest paying jobs are usually the people who really need the money. That's why they're doing it.

A good attitude is great in an employer which is likely why OP's nanny hasn't yet left, but if there's another employer with a good attitude who will pay more, the nanny may be motivated to leave. And that's reasonable.

I'm not even sure what you're trying to say by stating that this nanny doesn't appreciate op's good attitude. You don't know that. The fact that a person would reasonably take a higher paying job doesn't mean she doesn't appreciate op's good attitude. She's not bound to an employer simply because they're not cruel to her. It's a job. She's doing it for the money. That's how jobs work.
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