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At what age can a child understand not to go in the street?
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amother




OP
 

Post Wed, Jun 29 2022, 7:19 pm
For background- I have twin toddlers who are almost 2. I live in a basement apartment in a development in Lakewood. Nobody has backyards, the people who have houses have large porches in the back but mostly the kids just play in the front of the house. Basement people for sure do.

There are no fenced in areas and we live on a fairly busy street. I'm terrified of letting my toddlers walk outside because I'm afraid they will run into the street. They move really fast and I can't chase both at once! I literally will not let them play outside unless I have my husband with me which is is not very often. I used to have chessed girls take them outside twice a week but they stopped for the summer.

Is it possible to teach a not-yet turned two year old not to run into the street? We speak about it all the time, they know intellectually to say "no street." I tried taking them inside when they go in the street but I somewhow feel like they just don't understand. Is there any way to stop them from running into the street, thinking its funny? Are they just too young? Or is there something I can do?

DISCLAIMER: I am asking this not because I don't want to run after my kids. No matter what I would do my best to keep them within arms reach of an adult when they are outside. Just wondering if there was a better way to impart this message to kids this young as an extra layer of security.
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amother




Copper
 

Post Wed, Jun 29 2022, 7:25 pm
My kids understood at 18 months. I showed them the difference between the sidewalk and street and said no walking it’s a boo boo. And sometimes I had to remind them as they got close no no boo boo.
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BrisketBoss




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Jun 29 2022, 7:30 pm
Keep at it. My almost 3 clearly feels the boundary. I see her go as far as she is allowed to go and then stop and look at me.

When toddlers seem to think a boundary is 'funny' it isn't really comfortable laughter. The matter is unsettled for them. They can't accept the boundary yet. Maybe here it's because of the running--which I totally get that you have to do in that situation but I'm just saying, it doesn't make you seem calm/in control, and that can lead to testing.

I casually follow my toddlers at a short distance as they go further, and close distance as they get near the street. Then I make them hold my hand or be carried if they want to go further. (Can cause a tantrum but that's how it is.) We don't get right up to the street.

If this is not practical for you because your kids just race right out there and you can't do it, then unfortunately you may have to wait and try again when they're a little bit older.
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amother




White
 

Post Wed, Jun 29 2022, 7:35 pm
It will take a few months for them to learn. I will say between 2.2-2.5. Some kids stay around their mommy more, some test their mommy more, so run fast. I just started to trust my kid a lot more 2.3 -2.4 years old. And when he disappeared with a scooter, I figured he was around the block and not in the street BH.
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amother




IndianRed
 

Post Wed, Jun 29 2022, 7:35 pm
Following!
Mine is 18 months and wondering the same. We don’t have a sidewalk on our street, so it’s probably harder for her to know where the driveway ends and the street starts. I also want to know how to teach her and what to expect
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content




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Jun 29 2022, 7:42 pm
I used a teddy bear briefcase harness.
My toddler loved it.
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amother




Dill
 

Post Wed, Jun 29 2022, 7:44 pm
Use a tethered backpack and hold onto them
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zigi




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Jun 29 2022, 7:49 pm
amother [ IndianRed ] wrote:
Following!
Mine is 18 months and wondering the same. We don’t have a sidewalk on our street, so it’s probably harder for her to know where the driveway ends and the street starts. I also want to know how to teach her and what to expect

Put cones out so there is a visual barrier
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Amarante




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Jun 29 2022, 7:53 pm
The issue is that even if they understand about cars they can forget because something is exciting or distracts them. I wouldn’t trust a toddler to absolutely not endanger themselves.
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amother




Freesia
 

Post Wed, Jun 29 2022, 8:08 pm
My just 2yr old learned recently not to go into the street. She did it a few times, I picked her up, no emotions just matter of factly stated, "no going in the street, now Leah go inside." And repeated the same phrase each time.

Obviously, she's a 2yr old and she can't be trusted in the slightest bit. I'm always close by when she plays outside in front of my house. But for the past few weeks, I haven't seen her make any move toward entering the street. She knows if she wants to stay outside, she can't go there.

Can't imagine this situation with twins though. Must be a lot harder and scarier when there are 2 of them. It's not an easy age.
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amother




Poppy
 

Post Wed, Jun 29 2022, 8:14 pm
I think it’s way too you. IMO they need to be strapped into stroller outside, and taken to enclosed parks/playgrounds as often as possible to burn off steam
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amother




OP
 

Post Wed, Jun 29 2022, 8:37 pm
I'll take all suggestions from other Lakewood imas about local parks or playgrounds with an actual enclosed space that isn't the size of ten football fields and doesn't include a lake or parking lot.

I'm willing to drive to any park in Lakewood every single day to give my kids the chance to play outside. I can't keep them inside in a basement all summer just because they were lucky enough to have a twin.

The only park I found so far that sort of meets this criteria is Sunset park, but it does happen to be rather far from my house so its not ideal.
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amother




Pearl
 

Post Thu, Jun 30 2022, 5:53 am
Where do you live? Nice playground built on School Street (Ridge area) recently.

There might be a parking lot though can't remember.
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Chayalle




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Jun 30 2022, 6:07 am
All you people who think your toddlers know...I remember when DD was in Primary, she was playing at the home of someone in the neighborhood. At THEIR INVITATION - IOW I assumed they were being supervised. The mother decided they were old enough to go outside unsupervised. The two of them decided to run across a very busy street - just for the fun of it. A car short-stopped right in front of them. Someone who knew me and witnessed it called to let me know. The mother insisted that "primary is old enough".

Watch your kids.
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amother




Broom
 

Post Thu, Jun 30 2022, 6:10 am
There’s a really fun park in Toms River called castle park, corner of N Bay and Oak st.
I believe the park is fully gated in and it’s great for kids, lots to do, etc.
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Chayalle




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Jun 30 2022, 6:11 am
amother [ Broom ] wrote:
There’s a really fun park in Toms River called castle park, corner of N Bay and Oak st.
I believe the park is fully gated in and it’s great for kids, lots to do, etc.


And another really fun park with castles near the Jackson library down Bennets Mill Road. Also gated.
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Oldest




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Jun 30 2022, 6:39 am
My son knew not to go into the street by 14 months. Any time he went near the curb, I bent down to eye level and said very firmly "we don't go in the street" and would move him back. Then, anytime he paused before going in the street, and any time he held my hand in the street I made a huge deal out of it. By the time August came around, I didn't even have to run after him if I saw he was going toward the curb!
My daughter is 11 months old now, and I plan on doing the same thing with her and hoping for the same results! Smile

Also OP, if you live in a place where kids play in the street on Shabbos, I would advise you not to let your kids play in the street then until they a) know the difference between Shabbos and the rest of the week and b) You are confident that during the week they know not to go into the street. The reason for this is not to confuse them, and to make sure you are really comfortable that they understand it all
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amother




Lily
 

Post Thu, Jun 30 2022, 9:55 am
I agree that it's either in stroller or a gated park. Been there done that. It was a hard summer.. the one time I looked away my son ran into a busy street.
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amother




Violet
 

Post Thu, Jun 30 2022, 10:03 am
With my children not until closer to 4.
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amother




Ultramarine
 

Post Thu, Jun 30 2022, 10:05 am
Amarante wrote:
The issue is that even if they understand about cars they can forget because something is exciting or distracts them. I wouldn’t trust a toddler to absolutely not endanger themselves.


Exactly this. Understanding not to go in the street may happen at age two. But being able to catch yourself and stop in the moment when a ball rolls in or something similar - definitely older than two. I've seen elementary age kids run after balls without looking, even when they know how to cross a street properly.
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