At what age can a child understand not to go in the street?

BrisketBoss

Thu, Jun 30 2022, 1:06 pm

amother [ Ultramarine ] wrote:

Exactly this. Understanding not to go in the street may happen at age two. But being able to catch yourself and stop in the moment when a ball rolls in or something similar - definitely older than two. I've seen elementary age kids run after balls without looking, even when they know how to cross a street properly.

Yup. Around age 7, but individual as always, early childhood ends and kids have much more impulse control and you can let your guard down a little.

Truly a magical age, lots going on in brain development. Research shows that it's even best to delay formal schooling until then. Some countries do that, Waldorf schools do that, will our culture ever catch up? Who knows. :- )

amother

Pansy

Thu, Jun 30 2022, 1:13 pm

You can teach them as soon as they walk by saying booboo and if they do go in street u absolutely must potch. That is the only way for ur child to never do it again. This is something not negotiable as it's their life at stake. Even one mistake of them forgetting can be detrimental. If u ever need to potch for that guarantees they will not do it again

BrisketBoss

Thu, Jun 30 2022, 1:23 pm

amother [ Pansy ] wrote:

You never 'must' potch to establish a limit. Ridiculous.

But you must take action. Words are not enough for a toddler.

amother

Narcissus

Thu, Jun 30 2022, 1:39 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I'll take all suggestions from other Lakewood imas about local parks or playgrounds with an actual enclosed space that isn't the size of ten football fields and doesn't include a lake or parking lot.

I'm willing to drive to any park in Lakewood every single day to give my kids the chance to play outside. I can't keep them inside in a basement all summer just because they were lucky enough to have a twin.

The only park I found so far that sort of meets this criteria is Sunset park, but it does happen to be rather far from my house so its not ideal.

There is a park on Canterbury (by 14 st) thats fully enclosed.
Perfect for that age (and all ages) they can entertain themselves because theres a long ramp to the little slides my son loves it.

amother

Birch

Thu, Jun 30 2022, 1:48 pm

Oldest wrote:

My son knew not to go into the street by 14 months. Any time he went near the curb, I bent down to eye level and said very firmly "we don't go in the street" and would move him back. Then, anytime he paused before going in the street, and any time he held my hand in the street I made a huge deal out of it. By the time August came around, I didn't even have to run after him if I saw he was going toward the curb!
My daughter is 11 months old now, and I plan on doing the same thing with her and hoping for the same results! Smile

I wish you all the best and a lot of hatzlacha.
BUT
you absolutely cannot rely on a 14 mth old not to run into the road if he sees something interesting. Unless, maybe, your child is super obedient and very non-independent.
I definitely do not advise other mothers to copy this advice.
I've seen 2 yr olds reach the curb, turn around, say no, no and then with a big smile step into the road.
I've seen 5 yr olds chase a ball and not notice they're crossing into the road.

You don't run as he nears the curb. It only needs one time. One super interesting thing. One moment of forgetting. Don't risk it.

amother

Aquamarine

Thu, Jun 30 2022, 1:58 pm

amother [ Broom ] wrote:

There’s a really fun park in Toms River called castle park, corner of N Bay and Oak st.
I believe the park is fully gated in and it’s great for kids, lots to do, etc.

There's also one a few minutes north, on N Bay near Whitty Rd. I found that one to be much better for my almost 2 year old.

Op with 2 toddlers I think a park may be your only option. My baby is just under 2 and when she sees a car she backs up and says boo boo. She knows to be afraid. But I still wouldn't be comfortable letting her run on her own, I must follow her. It only takes a split second.

You can also try sitting outside while doing an activity with them so they're near you, like blowing bubbles or coloring with chalk on the sidewalk.

AlwaysGrateful

Thu, Jun 30 2022, 2:02 pm

It 100% depends on the kid.
My current toddler learned at a very young age not to go into the street. I obviously wouldn't leave her outside by herself (which seems to be what some of these responses are assuming the OP is asking -- she's not!). But I would feel comfortable sitting outside while she plays and keeping an eye on her. If I'd need to, I'd run and grab her, but I've never had to before and wouldn't be surprised if I never do. I haven't even needed to verbally tell her to stop for a long time now.

On the other hand, I've had more leibedik kids who had no sense of boundaries even at age 2 or 2.5. Those kids needed to be in a fenced-in area, or far from the street, or within arm's reach of me at all times.

I don't think there's a blanket answer to this question. I'd say it's important to try to practice with your kids, maybe when your husband or another friend/relative is around, so that it's 1 on 1. And maybe at a dead-end street or something so there's no real danger. Make sure you're really confident with them before you let them free. (And again, "free" means "under your supervision but still in the front yard and not within arm's reach." It does not mean that you can ignore them while they play independently or let them play outside while you're watching from the window...That won't happen for several more years.

amother

Hunter

Thu, Jun 30 2022, 6:36 pm

amother [ Birch ] wrote:

.
I've seen 5 yr olds chase a ball and not notice they're crossing into the road.

.

Even 7,8,9 year olds. Intellectual understanding is meaningless in the heat of the moment, even in adults. Have you never heard of people jumping onto subway tracks because they dropped something there?

When my twins were toddlers, we walked out with each child in a harness, the strap of which I held in my hands and didn't let go till we reached a fenced-in playground. Yes, it looks like a doggie leash. So what? כִּֽי־לְכֶ֤לֶב חַי֙ ה֣וּא ט֔וֹב מִן־הָאַרְיֵ֖ה הַמֵּֽת (Better a live dog than a dead lion.) I'm gonna put my child's life at risk because I'm worried how a harness will look to the neighbors? The neighbors can take a long walk off a short pier.

amother

Thu, Jun 30 2022, 8:57 pm

OP here.

I really appreciate all the responses I've been getting. As most responders seem to understand, I'm not looking to let my kids loose with no supervision. But with two toddlers it is often that one of them is not always within arms reach when outside- even walking from my driveway to the house one may walk faster/slower than the other and I'm just trying to instill in them the concept of not going in the street as a safety precaution while I do the best I can to keep them close to me.

In terms of playing outside- I guess I'm just frustrated that I have two very active toddlers who can really benefit from letting off some energy outside, yet I can't seem to find a safe option for them to do this. Keeping them in a stroller or even a small pen is frustrating to them when they watch all the other kids play. At the same time, they cannot understand or follow boundaries. Even though they know "no street- boo boos" its not going to stop them. I recently had an incident where one kid ended up in the street and I took him inside immediately but I honestly don't think it made much of a difference to him in terms of his future behavior. Even taking them to the park is challenging (besides for the logistical issues of having to drive there) as they can wander quite far from each other and don't seem to care about staying near me (or at least, near enough that I can see them). I don't have an enclosed backyard or porch.

So I guess the point of my original post was twofold- one, to vent. And two to see if I'm dreaming in thinking that my kids could really learn to take boundaries seriously so that they can play outside like the other kids their age. But the feeling that I'm getting is that yes, they are just too young and I'll have to keep on struggling to make this work.

amother

Seashell

Thu, Jun 30 2022, 9:06 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Canterbury park. Beautiful, new, big. Fits your criteria

amother

Blonde

Thu, Jun 30 2022, 9:43 pm

I’m guilty of keeping my two year old inside too much because I can’t run after him outside (I’m 6 weeks pp and simply don’t have the energy to do it, and didn’t necker u gave birth either.) even in the parks in my neighborhood I feel like I need to trail him and it’s hard, especially with a newborn in tow. We also don’t have a backyard, but we do have a porch.
I was visiting a sibling one day recently who has a fully fenced in yard. It was such a nice break for me and him! He ran around and played and had the time of his life.

amother

Antiquewhite

Thu, Jun 30 2022, 10:34 pm

Every child is different. My 2nd was very mature and understood a lot. By 2.5 she totally understood. Didn't stop someone from calling the cops on me (I happened to come outside before they showed up). We all have different awareness. My 11 year old is amazing at crossing the street. Has been for a full year now. Her sister is almost 9 and I don't know if I can trust her at 10, she admitted she has no patience.

behappy2

Thu, Jun 30 2022, 10:42 pm

I'm wondering if you could maybe have one in the stroller and one playing and take turns. Is that an option?

Btw my almost 2 year old never went into the street and I really trusted him. Then one day we were walking down the street and he was not budging so I told him that I'm going and hoping he would quickly follow. I went just a few feet and I turn my head back to see if he's following or not and he ran into the street for fun. BH I caught him in time and he was ok but it taught me to never trust a child, even one that NEVER goes in the street. Until they do.