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amother




OP
 

Post Mon, Jul 04 2022, 3:54 pm
My friendly, smiley, happy baby is 17 months.
She never had stranger anxiety, she went to anyone and everyone.

Latelywe've been going to my parents for shabbos. She is obsessed with my dad and younger brother! If they are holding her and I try to take her or hold her she screams and throws her head back and waves her arms at me.

But then today she refused to go to my father and only wanted me.

Is this normal behavior?

She isnt talking yet and she just whines or kvetches and I know she looks frustrated when we dont understand her cues.
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amother




Bone
 

Post Mon, Jul 04 2022, 3:55 pm
Totally normal
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amother




OP
 

Post Mon, Jul 04 2022, 3:58 pm
How can I address her when she tantrums? It doesnt last more than 30 seconds but she arches her back and screams lol.

I dont force her to come with me and respect her choices.

But im scared because my cousin has a 3 year old daughter who is a bit bratty...My cousin doesnt believe in saying "no" so her daughter has no boundaries, she kicks and hits and gets whatever she wants. She cant eat a meal without cartoons on in front of her either. I dont want my baby to grow up to be like this...
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amother




Kiwi
 

Post Mon, Jul 04 2022, 4:02 pm
In this instance - "okay - you don't want to go to Zaida today? no problem we'll see if you change your mind next time".
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amother




Rainbow
 

Post Mon, Jul 04 2022, 4:03 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
How can I address her when she tantrums? It doesnt last more than 30 seconds but she arches her back and screams lol.

I dont force her to come with me and respect her choices.

But im scared because my cousin has a 3 year old daughter who is a bit bratty...My cousin doesnt believe in saying "no" so her daughter has no boundaries, she kicks and hits and gets whatever she wants. She cant eat a meal without cartoons on in front of her either. I dont want my baby to grow up to be like this...


Helping her talk would be a good first step. Do you have EI where you live?

The stranger anxiety is very normal for this age. The totally not taking isn’t and it’s super frustrating for kids that want to talk but can’t/ aren’t.
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amother




Bone
 

Post Mon, Jul 04 2022, 4:07 pm
amother [ Rainbow ] wrote:
Helping her talk would be a good first step. Do you have EI where you live?

The stranger anxiety is very normal for this age. The totally not taking isn’t and it’s super frustrating for kids that want to talk but can’t/ aren’t.


I wouldn’t be that worried yet. Maybe you should teach her a few baby signs so she can communicate her needs. Yes, no, more, please, eat, and drink. those are easy and very very useful. I taught these signs to my ten month old when he clearly knew what he wanted and couldn’t tell me.

Her words will come in due time.
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amother




DarkPurple
 

Post Mon, Jul 04 2022, 4:19 pm
She's expressing herself without words, because she doesn't have words yet. You can help her by saying out loud what you think she would say if she could.
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amother




Maple
 

Post Mon, Jul 04 2022, 4:30 pm
I second teaching a few signs. That's what my sister in law does because her kids take longer to talk but understand everything. Sign language is more complex than talking but this is just a few signs.
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BrisketBoss




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Jul 04 2022, 4:34 pm
amother [ Maple ] wrote:
I second teaching a few signs. That's what my sister in law does because her kids take longer to talk but understand everything. Sign language is more complex than talking but this is just a few signs.


Third it! I love teaching signs. Can't imagine not teaching my babies signs. Even normal babies can sign before they speak, and there is even evidence that signing can help that speech come sooner.

There are delightful board books on baby sign language. You can focus on adding one new sign to your repertoire every week and then it's no big deal.

Also I actually disagree that sign language is more complex than talking.
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tweety1




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Jul 04 2022, 4:48 pm
amother [ Rainbow ] wrote:
Helping her talk would be a good first step. Do you have EI where you live?

The stranger anxiety is very normal for this age. The totally not taking isn’t and it’s super frustrating for kids that want to talk but can’t/ aren’t.

At 17 months old?? Please. Let the child live and develope at his own pace. At least for now
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amother




Rainbow
 

Post Mon, Jul 04 2022, 5:09 pm
tweety1 wrote:
At 17 months old?? Please. Let the child live and develope at his own pace. At least for now


If the kid is clearly frustrated? Yes. If the kid is happy and doing ok otherwise, I also wouldn’t rush.
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amother




OP
 

Post Mon, Jul 04 2022, 5:39 pm
I am a speech therapist.
I do a lot of play therap at home with her.
She wont sign so much. Ive tried a ton Sad

Just wanted to see if her mood swings are normal and how to address them/comfort her
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amother




OP
 

Post Tue, Jul 05 2022, 4:48 pm
my baby did it again today...
we went to visit a friend to drop off supper since she just had a baby... my daughter has never met this friend before and she crawled to her and wanted my friend to pick her up. when I tried to get her she started tantruming. is this normal?
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AlwaysGrateful




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Jul 05 2022, 6:17 pm
Totally normal. It really is. I think you're reading more into this than you need to.

She wants something (and since she's doing great socially, it seems like both of these times it was another person). She doesn't want X right then, she wants Y.

View her tantrums as communication. Imagine that she's saying "I don't want to do this, Mommy!" or "I really want this, Mommy!"

I understand you don't want her to become spoiled. Which is why if what she wants is something she can't have (a second piece of cake for dessert, someone who is on his way out the door and said "I can't pick you up right now"), then sure, you can hold that boundary by saying "Wow, you really want that cake! Maybe later you can have another piece of cake. You finished your piece already -- it's all done!" or "You really want Tatty to pick you up. Tatty has to leave right now. I know, you're sad that he's leaving. You wish he could pick you up."

But if it's something that you don't really care about, such as whether your friend picks her up or not, then go ahead and say "Oh! You wanted her to pick you up! I didn't realize. Sure, she can pick you up. We'll go home in a minute."

The right way to respond to a tantrum is to understand and empathize with her feelings. And once you set a boundary, you have to stick to it. But if she's tantrumming because she's trying to tell you something, no need to make up an arbitrary boundary, any more than if as an older child she said "Can we stay here one more minute?" you would HAVE to say no because otherwise she is going to be spoiled. She can't talk, so this is how she communicates right now. As she hears you talk about how she's feeling, she'll learn how to express herself as she grows older and more communicative.
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amother




OP
 

Post Tue, Jul 05 2022, 8:12 pm
AlwaysGrateful that was such a great post! I want to sign up for a chinuch class if you ever give one LOL Laugh
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