Do I have to let her

amother

Wed, Jul 06 2022, 9:21 pm

Hi, my baby is 18 months and loves to spill, pour and throw her food and drinks. Wether it’s from her high chair tray, while in the car seat, or just playing, she loves throwing her food wherever she is.

She’s my first, so don’t really know if I should let her be or try to stop it. I know it’s normal behavior, but I hate the cleaning up. Should I let her throw her food? Should I try to stop her? Sometimes she’ll clean it up after, but only when she wants to.

Until now I’ve been saying “don’t throw your food. I’d you throw more I’m gonna take it away” and if she doesn’t stop then I go and pick it up and remove her tray or take the bag away or whatever it is.

But now I’m thinking maybe I should just let her be and deal with the mess later. Not sure what is right.

What do you think?

behappy2

Wed, Jul 06 2022, 9:22 pm

Whatever you are comfortable with.

She needs a happy Mommy. She can always splash in the tub or play with sand in a sand box. Food doesnt have to be a toy.

amother

Navyblue

Wed, Jul 06 2022, 9:23 pm

FTM here too. And our babies are the same age and sound like twins LOL

Its annoying. But I let her play with her food.
She likes the sensation of different textures, I know its age appropriate, and its good for her motor skills.

My babysitter gets one of those doggy peepee pads to put under the highchair. I need to order some. Makes clean up easy

amother

Ivory

Wed, Jul 06 2022, 9:24 pm

There are no rules. Do what feels right

For me, throwing food is not ‘right’ however developmentally normal it is. I say ‘food is for eating not throwing’ Frankly my baby thinks it’s a game, but one I don’t want to play. I tell him if he throws he food then he must be done. And I take away the food for few minutes and then try again.

In my home balls are for throwing. Even toys. Books. But not food

BrisketBoss

Wed, Jul 06 2022, 9:26 pm

You don't need to say "Don't throw your food." She knows what your position is. Saying it again and again is useless as a teaching method. But A) She has very low impulse control and B) trajectory schema--she's interested right now in dropping things and watching their path. She's a little scientist.

But, you can take her out when she spills, pours, or throws, and let her try again in a few minutes. Also, at other times, you can set up activities for her that will let her practice throwing and dropping and spilling. That might help curb the behavior and she'll probably be very interested.

amother

Wed, Jul 06 2022, 9:28 pm

behappy2 wrote:

Whatever you are comfortable with.

She needs a happy Mommy. She can always splash in the tub or play with sand in a sand box. Food doesnt have to be a toy.

Oh she splashes plenty! But it’s not like she won’t throw her food because she played in the sandbox today…

amother

Wed, Jul 06 2022, 9:29 pm

amother [ Navyblue ] wrote:

FTM here too. And our babies are the same age and sound like twins LOL

I actually had it in my Amazon cart but never ordered it. If I get it, then it means I’m ok with her throwing her food. And I don’t know if I am!

BrisketBoss

Wed, Jul 06 2022, 9:29 pm

amother [ Ivory ] wrote:

Even books? Interesting. Usually I do let my toddlers have free reign with their own books but I'm thinking about trying to curb that because gradually the books get injured, and as a bookworm, I am sad.

amother

Brickred

Wed, Jul 06 2022, 9:29 pm

I give very little and add more so that there is less throwing and spilling. When she starts to throw you can remove her and say I see you are all finished. You don't have to keep in her while she throws things. They also make waterproof mats you can put under the high chair to contain more of the mess. Another option is putting her in a booster chair that straps to a chair there is less throwing at the table.

amother

Navyblue

Wed, Jul 06 2022, 9:29 pm

BrisketBoss wrote:

Do you have examples of what my baby can do?
She mouths everything so I cant take her to a sandbox or to play with dough or playdough.
I took her to the park today and she banged on some of the instruments and I poured water on top so it was wet for her

amother

Ivory

Wed, Jul 06 2022, 9:31 pm

BrisketBoss wrote:

We all have our Line in the sand. We took away his books when he started ripping them.

So he doesn’t have his books but not because of throwing

(At daycare he has tons of books)

Not_in_my_town

Wed, Jul 06 2022, 9:32 pm

A parent doesn't have to see everything.

It is healthy for kids to learn about gravity and the way different foods feel when thrown. However, our job is to not encourage the throwing.

I would turn a blind eye, not giving her attention but also not telling her her to stop all the time.

When she gets a little older, then I would start being more attentive to the throwing and actively teaching her not to.

I would never expect her to clean up the mess; she's only a baby.

amother

Wed, Jul 06 2022, 9:32 pm

amother [ Ivory ] wrote:

I agree with this. However, like mentioned upthread, some say it’s good for their sensory/motor skills.

But my baby knows she shouldn’t do it. She looks at me before she does it usually and I can tell it’s about to happen. I guess at this age, because she understands not to do it, I don’t have to let her do it.

I’d say at 12 months not to bother, but she’s getting big already!

amother

Ivory

Wed, Jul 06 2022, 9:35 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Even so I’m always picking up (tonight for example, sliced pepper, rice and sliced plum) from the floor. But that was with stopping him several times. It’s gotten better. And he didn’t throw his cup tonight which is definitely progress

amother

Wed, Jul 06 2022, 9:35 pm

BrisketBoss wrote:

Good idea!
So I think she throws her food for 2 reasons. One, she gets a thrill from it. And two, it’s her way of saying she’s done or doesn’t want it.

For the thrill part, I’ll take your suggestion. For the being done, I have to teach her to just tell me she’s done using her words instead of showing me with the food all over the place.

BrisketBoss

Wed, Jul 06 2022, 9:36 pm

amother [ Navyblue ] wrote:

Playdough is completely safe to mouth. You can redirect her if she wants to eat it.

You can do water play in the bathtub or outdoors. Get a water table, or just some plastic buckets and stuff. Even a negel vasser cup could be fun.

I've been thinking about how to manage dropping-objects-from-heights activities to do. Babies clearly enjoy it. I don't want to use the high chair.

BrisketBoss

Wed, Jul 06 2022, 9:37 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Yes, you could teach her to sign "All done." Some parents also introduce an 'all done' bowl in the corner of the high chair, to move food to when one is done with it.

amother

Navyblue

Wed, Jul 06 2022, 9:39 pm

BrisketBoss wrote:

She would shove it in her mouth and legit eat it. Ive tried :/
I saw on tik tok to do colorful chia seeds and have her play with it

Whats a water table?
I live in a small apartment- no outdoor space...

amother

Wed, Jul 06 2022, 9:39 pm

Not_in_my_town wrote:

Sometimes I pretend not to see, even though she checks to see if I’m looking first. But when I’m sitting across from her it’s hard to keep looking away.

I absolutely do not expect my little baby to clean her mess! She likes cleaning up SOMETIMES. And she always claps for herself when she’s done. So I mentioned that sometimes she cleans up, but only when she wants to. Wether promoted to or not, it’s only done when she has the desire. I think it’s adorable when she cleans up!

BrisketBoss

Wed, Jul 06 2022, 9:43 pm

amother [ Navyblue ] wrote:

Well, it's something like this. A plastic table with toys and pouring tools so that you can fill the basin of the table with water and then let 'em have fun. They are designed mostly to be used outdoors but I found this picture of one that fits a tub.