Youngest you would leave a baby?

amother

Thu, Jul 07 2022, 12:53 pm

What is the youngest you would leave a baby to go away on a getaway?
What is the maximum amount of time you would leave them?

Eta: I would prefer answers from people who are knowledgeable from a child development perspective. In terms of it not interfering in developing healthy attachment...

amother

Nemesia

Thu, Jul 07 2022, 12:56 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

What is the youngest you would leave a baby to go away on a getaway?
What is the maximum amount of time you would leave them?

Leave with who?

amother

Thu, Jul 07 2022, 12:58 pm

amother [ Nemesia ] wrote:

Leave with who?

Regular babysitter by day (at home)
Relative at night (at home)

amother

Nemesia

Thu, Jul 07 2022, 12:59 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Regular babysitter by day (at home)
Relative at night (at home)

Probably 5-6 months. Personally I wouldn't for more than 3-4 days but I know people would do up to a week

amother

Outerspace

Thu, Jul 07 2022, 1:05 pm

Are you looking to go away and want to justify going:not going when DH want to go?

You need to do what you are comfortable with and what works for you and not what others are doing.

I nursed until almost 2 so I was never apart from mine sans maybe 2 hours. My friend had twins and one had many complications and was in the nicu she ran between both and left each one for extended periods from day one trying to balance everyone’s needs. (Being home with one while the other was tended to by hospital staff or being at the hospital/taking that one to specialist-out of town, while the other was home with grandparents/aunt)

amother

Bluebell

Thu, Jul 07 2022, 1:07 pm

I don’t nurse

Left my 6 month old with my parents for shabbos. She had known them and spent a lot of time with them (and vice versa)

realtalk

Thu, Jul 07 2022, 1:30 pm

I had surgery when my youngest was 3mo EBF and my oldest was 21mo so they stayed by a family member for 3 days. It’s been 3mo and I don’t feel as though it has effected our attachment whatsoever. I’d say younger than 6ish months they won’t fully realize and then older than 18mo they’ll understand you’re coming back so those are the sweet spots

amother

Phlox

Thu, Jul 07 2022, 1:50 pm

I nurse until two, so it isn't an option for me before then, but if I didn't nurse that long or at all, I would do it much earlier. Not for very long though. No more than 2 or 3 days.

amother

Tiffanyblue

Thu, Jul 07 2022, 1:57 pm

I don't leave kids before age 2.5-3 & I only leave at relatives/friends they know very well.
I think it's torture to leave a little baby, even at someone they know well, when you can't yet explain to them what's happening & you suddenly disappear.

imaima

Thu, Jul 07 2022, 1:58 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I wouldn’t leave a baby for a getaway. It will interfere with attachment.
The youngest I left is 2 y o

amother

Bluebell

Thu, Jul 07 2022, 2:00 pm

amother [ Tiffanyblue ] wrote:

Are you a sahm?

amother

Tiffanyblue

Thu, Jul 07 2022, 2:05 pm

amother [ Bluebell ] wrote:

Are you a sahm?

Now I am. I wasn't always. And I'm still mad at myself that I left my babies. Even if my mom was their sitter. I still feel guilty.
But, babies get used to the schedule that they get dropped off and picked up every day. It's not the same as parents suddenly disappearing overnight or for afew days.

amother

Bergamot

Thu, Jul 07 2022, 2:19 pm

When it comes to babies under 1, I only left one overnight once. He was 10 months old and nursing and I had to fly abroad for 11 days for a business trip.

I left him with my husband. My MIL helped out also. They fed him a combination of pumped milk and formula. He went to daycare as usual Monday through Friday, so that part was the same for him. When I returned, I resumed nursing. I can't say for sure whether there was any impact, but I didn't observe any.

amother

Linen

Thu, Jul 07 2022, 4:02 pm

We went away for 1 night for out 20th anniversary our youngest was 8 and our older kids watched the younger ones. We live OOT and don't have any close family that we would leave our kids with.

BrisketBoss

Thu, Jul 07 2022, 4:25 pm

Responding to your edit--

If it's just for a few days, it really shouldn't interfere with attachment in the long run even if the baby is quite young. I wouldn't do it, but that's for other reasons, not because I'm afraid of attachment problems.

Last edited by BrisketBoss on Thu, Jul 07 2022, 4:27 pm; edited 1 time in total

DreamerForever

Thu, Jul 07 2022, 4:26 pm

realtalk wrote:

Of course you had to leave your children, and it's possible they weren't affected long-term; but a baby under 6months will 100% realise that his caregiver is not his mother!!

They might not be able to express it and they may still ''behave'', but every one of their senses will know it and feel it.

Last edited by DreamerForever on Thu, Jul 07 2022, 4:33 pm; edited 1 time in total