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Upsherin - for a total first-timer.
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PeanutMama




 
 
 
 

Post Sat, Jul 16 2022, 9:10 pm
Where is the actual haircut?
Who cuts?

Is there a party for the boy?

We are Chasidish if it makes a difference
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Not_in_my_town




 
 
 
 

Post Sat, Jul 16 2022, 9:20 pm
Mazel tov!

We did the haircut in the house, with people who are important to us cutting the hair. Everyone took snips and then he was shaved. I just put out some light refreshments, but some people do more massive.

I gave him a bath afterward so he wouldn't be itchy, and then we went to the cheder.

At the cheder, he sat with the rebbie and then handed out slices of cake and pekelech.

I think most people bring a cake and pekelech with them. You might want to double check that.
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amother




Firebrick
 

Post Sat, Jul 16 2022, 9:20 pm
We did it in our home, evening of the birthday. Invited a few close family members and friends. Everyone snipped a bit, off the top of the head, including me and my other children who wanted. I made sure to have someone there who could do the actual haircut.
We had some cake and liquor, and pekelach for the kids.
The next morning we put the upsherin boy in a Tallis and went to cheder (pre-arrange time and date) to read alef beis and lick some honey. We gave out pekelach there as well.
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PeanutMama




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Jul 17 2022, 11:33 pm
Thank you!!

So we cut the hair the evening he turns 3?
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member




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Jul 17 2022, 11:42 pm
It’s up to you, you could do it the evening of or morning of.... no difference
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Not_in_my_town




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Jul 18 2022, 5:51 am
We did it in the morning.
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PeanutMama




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Jul 18 2022, 12:24 pm
Alright. 😄 I appreciate your help!!
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amother




Stoneblue
 

Post Mon, Jul 18 2022, 1:01 pm
You may want to ask as it varies a lot by minhag. In my family it's not much of a minhag so we cut hair at the barber and had a party. But my chassidish friend is very makpid, not only to go to cheder on the day of the birthday but the boy goes wrapped in a tallis and stays home the rest of the day because he shouldn't see anything/anyone not Jewish or kadosh. It sounds like a very strong minhag in her family. Since you mentioned that you are chassidish too.....
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ichbingreit




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Jul 18 2022, 2:10 pm
We are in Israel but it was also our first time.
We went to meron and not many people could come since it was a working day.
Minhag chassidus is not to cut hair at night.
So we cut it by day just straight with a shaved.
I made ponies from the hair that would become the payos and just shaved the rest.
The same day or the next day you wrap the child in a Tallis and bring him to cheder ( the eyes should be closed by the Tallis so he shouldn’t see anyhting tumeh)
We brought a cake that has special psukim that the boy reads with the rebbe. The minhag is it should be a honey cake.
Here they sell the psukim as an edible print in stores.
Then it’s also a minhag for the boy to eat an egg with psukim on it.
There should be gmachim for all these things I think I remember seeing in bp.
The boy says the alef Bais and licks the honey off it and brings pekkalach for all the boys.
The rest of the day you keep him home so he shouldn’t see anyhting improper.
It is a very holy day and the boy feels so special.
Chussen chalake .
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Not_in_my_town




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Jul 18 2022, 2:13 pm
The egg minhag is interesting. Never heard that. Do you know a reason behind it?

Also, do you know which pasukim? Curious. Thanks!
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amother




Snowdrop
 

Post Mon, Jul 18 2022, 2:28 pm
First cut is in front center of forehead, where the tefillin will go
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flowerpower




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Jul 18 2022, 2:36 pm
We cut the day of. Whoever wants gives a snip of the hair. A professional( we had a barber) finishes it off and makes sure its a decent haircut. I made a nice breakfast. I invited family and some friends. We gave out pekelach to the kids. Then we wrapped the kid in a talis and took him to cheder. The rebbe does some aleph bais honey licking ceremony. We brought pekelach for the kids and cake and lchaim for the rebbes/ menahal. Then took the kid back home...
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chili-n-cholent




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Jul 18 2022, 7:45 pm
For an interesting read explaining many minhagim I found this new book great
https://www.amazon.com/Upsheri.....psc=1
we don't necessarily hold by a lot of what they write but I found it interesting just for the whole explanation of why we cut the hair and take them to cheder at 3
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amother




Mayflower
 

Post Mon, Jul 18 2022, 7:50 pm
Call his Rebbe to check what time he wants you to bring him to Cheder.
They usually have a set time in the day that works for them.

Besides for the talis, honey cake, and pekalech, all other minhagim are extras.
The Rebbe should have honey, liquor and the aleph Bais sheet.
You can confirm with him to make sure.
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PeanutMama




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Aug 01 2022, 10:36 pm
Thank you!

We are going to make really simple pekelach. Two things tho.

1) what is the name of the hechser that everyone eats?
2) I’m concerned about allergies whether it’s peanut, wheat, dairy etc…and I know some mothers don’t want to give their kids tons of sugar. What would you suggest?
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MommyPhD




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Aug 01 2022, 10:45 pm
We did a huge afternoon party with everyone in our community. My son was very ill when he turned three and couldn't walk. He had just left the hospital a day or so prior. It was also the height of covid and people were nervous... We waited 6 months after he was doing better and finally did it, and everyone was so excited to celebrate him. Our rav gave a talk about the significance (lots of non-frum people there) and what makes my son/family special. Only my husband and I and rabbi's family cut small pieces of hair. My son gets freaked out easily and knows them best. He had an amazing time! My husband took him for a proper haircut a few days later.

Last edited by MommyPhD on Tue, Aug 02 2022, 7:44 am; edited 1 time in total
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amother




DarkRed
 

Post Mon, Aug 01 2022, 11:22 pm
MommyPhD wrote:
We did a huge afternoon party with everyone in our community. My son was very ill when he turned three and couldn't walk. He has just left the hospital a day or so prior. It was also the height of covid and people were nervous... We waited 6 months after he was doing better and finally did it, and everyone was so excited to celebrate him. Our rav gave a talk about the significance (lots of non-frum people there) and what makes my son/family special. Only my husband and I and rabbi's family cut small pieces of hair. My son gets freaked out easily and knows them best. He had an amazing time! My husband took him for a people haircut a few days later.

This sounds so moving. I hope your son is ok today.
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amother




DarkRed
 

Post Mon, Aug 01 2022, 11:25 pm
PeanutMama wrote:
Thank you!

We are going to make really simple pekelach. Two things tho.

1) what is the name of the hechser that everyone eats?
2) I’m concerned about allergies whether it’s peanut, wheat, dairy etc…and I know some mothers don’t want to give their kids tons of sugar. What would you suggest?

You could just do a bag of chips (or I like to do the small bags of aleph bais cookies) with a taffy pop or similar. If you get any of the regular heimishe companies, you should be fine re hechsher.
As far as allergies, I personally wouldn't stress about it too much, unless you know of a specific kid with a specific allergy (for whom I would make a special pekele). Those mothers will certainly be vigilant and check the ingredients before allowing their kid to eat it.
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Not_in_my_town




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Aug 02 2022, 5:08 am
[quote="PeanutMama"]Thank you!

We are going to make really simple pekelach. Two things tho.

1) what is the name of the hechser that everyone eats?

The "most frum" hechsherim are considered to be Badatz Yerushalayim and Velove. Almost everyone will eat from them. After that Hisachdus is widely used. But honestly, any of the heimishe companies will be eaten by most people. Liebers, Gefen, etc.
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PeanutMama




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Aug 02 2022, 6:01 am
MommyPhD wrote:
We did a huge afternoon party with everyone in our community. My son was very ill when he turned three and couldn't walk. He has just left the hospital a day or so prior. It was also the height of covid and people were nervous... We waited 6 months after he was doing better and finally did it, and everyone was so excited to celebrate him. Our rav gave a talk about the significance (lots of non-frum people there) and what makes my son/family special. Only my husband and I and rabbi's family cut small pieces of hair. My son gets freaked out easily and knows them best. He had an amazing time! My husband took him for a people haircut a few days later.


This is so so beautiful! 🥹🥹❤️❤️
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