Working Moms: How do you know your infant is treated well a

amother

Seablue

Tue, Jul 19 2022, 7:10 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Like if a child doesnt have signs of abuse and seems calm when you pick them up, and references are happy, that means theres no awful neglect throughout the day?

What are ways to make sure your child is in good hands?

If the child’s clothes are always clean and dry at pickup, they have clean noses and clean diapers, it’s a low ball but a good sign that they are Being cared for.

amother

Goldenrod

Tue, Jul 19 2022, 7:31 pm

amother [ Seablue ] wrote:

If the child’s clothes are always clean and dry at pickup, they have clean noses and clean diapers, it’s a low ball but a good sign that they are Being cared for.

In my kids cases, not really. I don't mind if my baby's clothes are not perfectly clean and if they have a snotty nose at pickup.

What does matter is that she cared for each of my children, showed them love and compassion and patience, fed them well, they never had diaper rashes so I knew they were changed frequently, etc.

She didn't spend her time making sure each child was spotless.

I saw how she loved on each child that she had and that's what I needed.

amother

Petunia

Tue, Jul 19 2022, 7:48 pm

I do babysitting for years. There is no way someone else's child will be cared for or loved like my own.

However, I take care of their needs, feed, change regularly, and even give them hugs.
Still, there is no way I can replace mom.

Ideally a mother should be with their baby under a year old IMHO.

But, I know its not always possible.

I would say the best way to know is intuition. If your baby cries continuously after being dropped off (more than couple of weeks) they may be telling you they are not happy.

Mothers should know the longer they hang around saying goodbye when dropping off, the harder it is on your baby.

Also the mother that are understanding that babies are babies, and they sometimes cry and sometimes get dirty, and we cant be perfect always, makes a huge difference. The money babysitters earn are not even worth it when mothers dont reciprocate the care that is given.

Also, try to be normal. Bring everything to make it easier for the babysitter. Blanky, pacy, enough diapers. Some mothers have no seichel...I can write a book...

amother

Olive

Tue, Jul 19 2022, 8:33 pm

amother [ Petunia ] wrote:

I could write a book with you! I've been saying that for years!
When I babysit, I "feel"the babies parents looking over my shoulder. It was always a relief to take care of my own kids because I don't feel anyone watching and judging.
But I think you could tell if a baby is being mistreated

amother

Tue, Jul 19 2022, 8:37 pm

amother [ Petunia ] wrote:

I do babysitting for years. There is no way someone else's child will be cared for or loved like my own.

However, I take care of their needs, feed, change regularly, and even give them hugs.
Still, there is no way I can replace mom.........

Also, try to be normal. Bring everything to make it easier for the babysitter. Blanky, pacy, enough diapers. Some mothers have no seichel...I can write a book...

amother [ Olive ] wrote:

Dunno... I sense a degree of dislike for some of your customers.

Hashem Yerachem, with todays technology, many people would only leave their pets in places where they can tune in! Why is it such a scary thought for babysitters?

amother

Petunia

Tue, Jul 19 2022, 9:23 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

What are you talking about?

Just the other day a mother begged me to take her son. I didnt want to take a non steady, but did her a favor. She sends him with her sister-one pamper, nothing else. He arrived in dirty diaper, so I changed him. Later he makes another dirty diaper and I had to borrow from anothers...

Comes nap time, the kid is beyond tired. No bottle, blanket, or stroller (I am doing it in someones house for the summer). Until I finally was able to reach her, she was out of town on vacation. Her son is screaming bc he falls asleep only with a bottle and she never sent it along...
Mom doesnt even care her child should be comfortable. She wants the babysitter to deal with it instead.

You can sense whatever you want. The fact is I get requests nearly every single day, and as a babysitter I can honestly say, if you want good care for your child: Get references, and treat your babysitter like a human being...

Like amother Olive said. If you are here to judge, demand, and show no care, you might as well keep on searching for someone else. I am busy and work hard as is.

amother

DarkKhaki

Tue, Jul 19 2022, 9:50 pm

I research the best I can but still had horror stories. You find out from little tips you pick up on. Like baby being happy at drop off. When my baby wasn’t happy at drop off or pick up I knew something was off and switched. Then found out the babysitter left kids unattended to do small things out of her apartment for up to 15 min (as far as I know maybe longer). I had baby come home in same diaper that was soaked 8 hours later. It’s so hard that you can never know till you know.

amother

Lightcoral

Tue, Jul 19 2022, 10:09 pm

I think daycares are safer than private babysitters, I'm sure there are lots of amazing warm babysitters but nobody can know what goes on the privacy of someone's house. I work with babies in a daycare, there are cameras in the room so the office can see what is going on at all times also anybody can walk in at any time of the day and see what's going on. By a certain time in the year all of the babies put out their hands to come to me from their mothers, I think that's a pretty good sign that they are getting love and are happy. Some of them would rather come to me than their mothers

amother

Petunia

Tue, Jul 19 2022, 10:28 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

What you said is right but irrelevant to my question.

If you sent your infant to a babysitter all day every day, wouldnt you yearn to see him midday, sometimes?

My door is open always and I tell mothers to walk right in. I'm currently working in someone's house which I believe have cameras.

My point is that if a mother walks in and sees me sitting for a minute to put something in my mouth or not running to a baby the second they cry, don't assume abuse and neglect! Mom has not seen me rocking and holding your baby for the past hour. Healthy baby cries a certain amount every day, despite what you do, and a babysitter is human..

Obviously if there is real abuse or neglect, it's a whole nother story...

amother

Petunia

Tue, Jul 19 2022, 10:36 pm

amother [ Goldenrod ] wrote:

Very true. I used to work in a playgroup where at the end of the day, the teacher wet one paper towel, and wiped every kid's face with it.

metacognizant

Tue, Jul 19 2022, 11:52 pm

Slightly older babies (6 months?) will act happy to transition to a babysitter or daycare provider, especially if they are in a consistent routine, and especially if the parent acts confident at drop off. (I.e. no long lingering goodbyes, unfortunately.) But for better or worse it seems you get what you pay for. A sitter/daycare who is paid enough to make ends meet, have enough staff and supplies, and few enough children, is going to do a better job than a sitter who is underpaid, obviously. This doesn’t guarantee anything but when you pay more you can (sometimes????) imagine that your babies are having a better experience. Unfortunately the economics of this don’t often add up.

amother

Broom

Wed, Jul 20 2022, 1:45 am

I think that it's important amongst other things to see if the atmosphere is calm

Most babysitters which I've used and I've dropped in to pick up my kid either at regular pickup time or in the middle of the day

I once sent to once where she looked all frazzled and all the kids were screaming - I would not leave my kid there. I need to feel calm when leaving him. Yes anyone can have a frazzled day but I asked my husband at pickup time if it was calm and he said it wasn't the calmest either so I never sent there again.

Ask pointed questions to references and rely on your own instincts

I once didn't feel comfortable with a certain babysitter and stopped sending even though everyone else told me how "amazing" she was and how happy they were. Doesn't matter , it didn't feel right to me, even just the fact that she was always in a rush and I felt like I couldn't give her basic instructions about my kid. He once hurt himself there (fell off a couch as a young baby under 1) and she couldn't even properly explain how it happened or give a proper apology or call after to see how he was.

amother

Sienna

Wed, Jul 20 2022, 2:11 am

amother [ Petunia ] wrote:

That's sad. I'm not as nice as you. I call the mother and say please bring what he needs ASAP or pick him up.
I'm not a shlepper to dump their crying child on.
An extra pacifier, blanket, bottle, etc stays with me so parents don't need to remember to bring every day.
I've used my own stroller when parents decide to drive here and forget to bring theirs. I keep extra diapers and wipes and blankets for emergencies. I've used my own children's clothing when parents forgot to send an extra change.
I think parents are doing the best they can. And we all go through stages of better or lesser functioning. Getting themselves and their children all up and ready by 8-9 AM, it's only natural to forget a pacifier or some things.
You have to set yourself up in a way that you can successfully manage no matter what's missing. Sometimes that means telling parents what's needed because they honestly don't realize or know.

amother

Sienna

Wed, Jul 20 2022, 2:19 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Working Moms:

How do you know your infant is treated well at babysitting group, while youre at work?

Do any babysitters who work from home, have cameras, or allow you to see whats happening from your place of work?

What makes you secure enough to send to the babysitter you chose, daily, all day?

I don't have cameras but I try every day to send a few pictures to the mothers so they can see their child smiling and playing happily. If I can, without neglecting the children.
Also a small group is probably best.