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Forum
-> Children's Health
-> Allergies
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amother
OP
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 Sun, Jul 24 2022, 8:17 pm
We just asked a shailah and were told we can't eat chicken during the nine days. My son is allergic to soy, nuts, eggs, and fish. My husband can't eat dairy. We are going to starve.
Don't tell me to make vegetarian chili or something. Nobody in my family will eat it. They'll go hungry sooner than eat weird food. We eat chicken, lots of it. That's how I keep my family fed.
I will not bring poisons into my house. It's not worth the risk of a reaction. So that means no fish. My Rabbi helpfully told me that we could eat in the car. Seriously.
I'm crying as I write this. I've spoken to people who've come up with solutions but none of them will work for my family. My family is picky and won't eat interesting foods. I have limited ability to cook complicated foods from scratch. I'm worried about my family. Yes I know they won't truly starve in one week, but they can't afford to lose weight. (I mean I can but that's a different story.) Looks like we'll have to eat all separately but I don't know how that's going to work and I'm not able to make multiple suppers.
I'm just not looking forward to the hungryness and hangriness for the week. Having supper together is one of the things we do that keeps everyone happy and healthy. Going the week without it it's going to be really really hard.
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Not_in_my_town
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Sun, Jul 24 2022, 8:19 pm
Does your rabbi understand the full scope of multiple food allergies?
We have fish, milk, peanut allergies and we were told that we can have chicken the entire 9 days, though if we can hold off on the last three, it would be best.
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amother
OP
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Sun, Jul 24 2022, 8:25 pm
| Not_in_my_town wrote: | Does your rabbi understand the full scope of multiple food allergies?
We have fish, milk, peanut allergies and we were told that we can have chicken the entire 9 days, though if we can hold off on the last three, it would be best. |
Clearly he doesn't. Lucky you that you were told you could. There is plenty of room to be meikil, the Mishna Berurah is meikil, but our Rav - and he's our Rav, not just some random Rabbi we asked - is machmir.
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amother
Sunflower
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Sun, Jul 24 2022, 8:27 pm
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | | Clearly he doesn't. Lucky you that you were told you could. There is plenty of room to be meikil, the Mishna Berurah is meikil, but our Rav - and he's our Rav, not just some random Rabbi we asked - is machmir. |
OP, maybe you can go back to the rav and speak this over very very clearly, explaining what foods are left for your family to eat with this restriction.
I (very right wing) was told I could eat chicken when I was nursing a child with food allergies
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Not_in_my_town
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Sun, Jul 24 2022, 8:27 pm
*sigh*
Machmir is NOT always the way to go.
I can only say that I feel for you. You won't starve, but it will be awfully hard.
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ra_mom
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Sun, Jul 24 2022, 8:28 pm
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | We just asked a shailah and were told we can't eat chicken during the nine days. My son is allergic to soy, nuts, eggs, and fish. My husband can't eat dairy. We are going to starve.
Don't tell me to make vegetarian chili or something. Nobody in my family will eat it. They'll go hungry sooner than eat weird food. We eat chicken, lots of it. That's how I keep my family fed.
I will not bring poisons into my house. It's not worth the risk of a reaction. So that means no fish. My Rabbi helpfully told me that we could eat in the car. Seriously.
I'll write more when I have more time. |
I am so sorry, that sounds so, so hard.
How old is your son? I'd try to get him a heter for chicken if he is young.
If not, serve dairy. Make something else for your husband. Which of your son's allergies aren't anaphylaxic/can he be around?
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amother
Sienna
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Sun, Jul 24 2022, 8:30 pm
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | We just asked a shailah and were told we can't eat chicken during the nine days. My son is allergic to soy, nuts, eggs, and fish. My husband can't eat dairy. We are going to starve.
Don't tell me to make vegetarian chili or something. Nobody in my family will eat it. They'll go hungry sooner than eat weird food. We eat chicken, lots of it. That's how I keep my family fed.
I will not bring poisons into my house. It's not worth the risk of a reaction. So that means no fish. My Rabbi helpfully told me that we could eat in the car. Seriously.
I'll write more when I have more time. |
That is really challenging. Here are a few ideas that I hope can be helpful for you.
So delicious coconut yogurts (no soy- can buy in shoprite/walmart/target...)
Macaroni
Vegetable soup with barley
Pizza with daiya dairy free shredded cheese (I checked - no soy)
Just egg can be used as an egg replacement in just about any recipe (target) think scrambled eggs and rolls, vegetable quiche, baked goods, potato knish...
Let me know if you need more ideas or if I can help you in any other way. I obviously have experience with this predicament
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amother
Vermilion
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Sun, Jul 24 2022, 8:33 pm
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You really, really won't starve if you don't eat animal proteins for a week. Even if you don't like any of the most common sources of non animal protein. I'm definitely sympathetic, as most of my family has food allergies. But I don't think it's going to be so terrible. You can eat as much grains and produce as you want. If there are any nuts or legumes that you like, eat those as well. You'll be ok.
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amother
Marigold
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Sun, Jul 24 2022, 8:33 pm
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I'd go back to the Rav and explain the situation again. We hold that young kids in general may eat chicken during the 9 days.
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keym
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Sun, Jul 24 2022, 8:42 pm
| amother [ Sienna ] wrote: | That is really challenging. Here are a few ideas that I hope can be helpful for you.
So delicious coconut yogurts (no soy- can buy in shoprite/walmart/target...)
Macaroni
Vegetable soup with barley
Pizza with daiya dairy free shredded cheese (I checked - no soy)
Just egg can be used as an egg replacement in just about any recipe (target) think scrambled eggs and rolls, vegetable quiche, baked goods, potato knish...
Let me know if you need more ideas or if I can help you in any other way. I obviously have experience with this predicament |
Just egg has no egg ingredient in it?
Every egg replacement that I've found has egg white or egg yolk in the ingredients.
OP, I sympathize. Between my family, we're allergic to legumes, dairy, eggs, and nuts. I was told that over bar/bas mitzvah should try to not eat chicken during Shavua shechol bo. Under bar/bad mitzvah just the last 3 days.
This year is a machlokes what Shavua shechol bo entails.
Oh and no meat, even chopped meat or salami at all.
Some years are better than others. I'll try for a single base with different add-ons. Pasta, some made with cheese, some with plain sauce.
One night is pita pizza and salad OR pita and falafel and salad depending on what they're allergic to.
Now I have teens who will each make a Siyum on something small just to make everyone feel better about eating basic chicken and rice.
OP, go back to the Rav. See if there's anything else he can do.
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ohmygosh
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Sun, Jul 24 2022, 8:49 pm
Rice
Pita with/out falafel, and Israeli salad
Baked potatoes /roasted potatoes
Vegetable soup
Mushroom barley soup
Guacamole on rice cakes
Pareve chulent
Just trying to think of ideas
Last edited by ohmygosh on Sun, Jul 24 2022, 8:50 pm; edited 1 time in total
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amother
Molasses
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Sun, Jul 24 2022, 8:49 pm
| Not_in_my_town wrote: | Does your rabbi understand the full scope of multiple food allergies?
We have fish, milk, peanut allergies and we were told that we can have chicken the entire 9 days, though if we can hold off on the last three, it would be best. |
Please don’t give these ideas to others who didn’t get the same psak as you.
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amother
Phlox
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Sun, Jul 24 2022, 8:50 pm
| ohmygosh wrote: | Rice
Pita with/out falafel, and Israeli salad
Baked potatoes /roasted potatoes
Vegetable soup
Mushroom barley soup
Guacamole on rice cakes
Just trying to think of ideas |
Pasta, pasta, pasta!
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amother
Vermilion
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Sun, Jul 24 2022, 8:50 pm
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Just egg does not have egg (or any of the other allergens that op mentioned). I use it in baked goods but never tried it scrambled.
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amother
Firethorn
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Sun, Jul 24 2022, 8:51 pm
| amother [ Molasses ] wrote: | | Please don’t give these ideas to others who didn’t get the same psak as you. |
Disagree. She's not telling anyone that they should do that- it's good for people to know that the heter is out there.
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amother
DarkYellow
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Sun, Jul 24 2022, 8:51 pm
You need a new Rav asap.
This is clearly beyond the scope of his expertise.
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amother
Cognac
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Sun, Jul 24 2022, 9:01 pm
Sorry, that sounds super stressful.
Maybe these foods might work:
Mac and cheese for kids, noodles and pizza sauce for husband
Vegetable soup and bread
Maybe your husband can have eggs and kids can have bagels and cream cheese or cereal and milk
Hummus and pita
Beans or baked beans and rice with veggies
Vegetable stir fry with noodles
Whatever you do, keep it simple. It's just a week and you just need to keep everyone fed, even of the meals aren't so balanced.
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amother
Lightpink
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Sun, Jul 24 2022, 9:04 pm
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | We just asked a shailah and were told we can't eat chicken during the nine days. My son is allergic to soy, nuts, eggs, and fish. My husband can't eat dairy. We are going to starve.
Don't tell me to make vegetarian chili or something. Nobody in my family will eat it. They'll go hungry sooner than eat weird food. We eat chicken, lots of it. That's how I keep my family fed.
I will not bring poisons into my house. It's not worth the risk of a reaction. So that means no fish. My Rabbi helpfully told me that we could eat in the car. Seriously.
I'm crying as I write this. I've spoken to people who've come up with solutions but none of them will work for my family. My family is picky and won't eat interesting foods. I have limited ability to cook complicated foods from scratch. I'm worried about my family. Yes I know they won't truly starve in one week, but they can't afford to lose weight. (I mean I can but that's a different story.) Looks like we'll have to eat all separately but I don't know how that's going to work and I'm not able to make multiple suppers.
I'm just not looking forward to the hungryness and hangriness for the week. Having supper together is one of the things we do that keeps everyone happy and healthy. Going the week without it it's going to be really really hard. |
I feel for you, but when there are plenty of people around the world who are near starvation, this is not a proper thing to write. (There are also people with PKU who can NEVER eat milk, dairy, meats, eggs, nuts, soy, and beans.)
I know someone with a fish allergy and she cannot be around any fish that smells at all. But some fish smells are worse than others. Can you not send your husband with pasta and tuna for lunch and then he can have a more simple dinner of eggs? Presumably your allergic child eats pizza? There are ways around this. There is no reason why everyone has to eat the same meal at the same time. It is four days. I'm sure it won't affect your family the extent you are making it out.
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LittleDucky
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Sun, Jul 24 2022, 9:04 pm
What about making a siyum? If people can make a siyum to eat meat/chicken when there are no allergies, maybe try to have a siyum so that at least a few days there are dinners everyone can eat?
Ask a shaila on how large a sefer it has to be to be a siyum? Does it have to be a mesechta of gemara? What about a sefer of mishna (all of brachos for instance)? Can you learn Ovadiah?
Are any allergies not airborne? So you can, for example, make dairy for son and your husband can eat something else?
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amother
Lightpink
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Sun, Jul 24 2022, 9:06 pm
| amother [ Firethorn ] wrote: | | Disagree. She's not telling anyone that they should do that- it's good for people to know that the heter is out there. |
Why? How is it helpful?
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