Family who took in my kids a lot

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Forum -> Relationships -> Giving Gifts

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amother

Mon, Jul 25 2022, 1:56 am

For various reasons I wasn't able to be there for my kids as much as I would have liked to this summer. One of our neighbors did things like took one or two of my kids along on their outings, had them over for a Shabbos, and things like that which may not have seemed like a big deal to them (they're a big family with a lot of action so an extra kid here or there is no big deal. Or at least they graciously make it seem that way?!) but it really saved me from either having to do it myself when it would have been very difficult, or from feeling guilty that I wasn't able to do it myself. I want to get them something to show my appreciation but I can't figure out what! Standard gift-y items tend to feel cheesy to me. I don't want to do a gift card because I feel like that's slapping a price tag on a friendship which is really tacky. Help!

(obviously a letter will go with it but I want a gift too.)

amother

Cerise

Mon, Jul 25 2022, 1:59 am

I'd send something nice for Rosh Hashanah along with a friendship type card with a heartfelt message of thanks and wishes for a good year. (Like a pretty honey dish or similar.)

amother

Lightcyan

Mon, Jul 25 2022, 2:05 am

I did something similar for a neighbor when I heard that the very young mother was undergoing treatments. I think I wasn’t supposed to really know but it’s good that I did. Instead of wondering why the kids were knocking on my door all the time and possibly sending them home, I invited them to join us. At the end, the parents bought me something very standard, a candy platter and they both came over to thank me for always having their kids over.
The candy wasn’t so exciting but I was very touched when they each thanked me.
It’s the words that matter, not so much the gift.

amother

Cadetblue

Mon, Jul 25 2022, 2:11 am

An Amazon or target gift card is safest

amother

Springgreen

Mon, Jul 25 2022, 2:19 am

amother [ Lightcyan ] wrote:

This is actually a great message to keep in mind, thank you! I hope to always be nonjudgmental in these situations, and warm and welcoming to children who knock.
I’ll never forget an acquaintance of mine who was there for my children at a time I was going through something very private.
She had no way of knowing that there was anything wrong in my life, but so graciously went above and beyond in allowing my children into her home on a regular basis. Despite not knowing me well she assumed I must need it and that I wasn’t taking advantage for no reason.

tree of life

Mon, Jul 25 2022, 3:31 am

First of all write a beautiful note
Buy something for the kids who I'm sure are wonderful but sometimes it was probably tough for example mishpacha magazine prescription
And buy something for the couple something that they can use daily
May you be able to manage things better hatzlacha

amother

Butterscotch

Mon, Jul 25 2022, 3:46 am

A silver napkin holder or salt shaker, if it’s something they would use.

amother

Lily

Mon, Jul 25 2022, 3:49 am

When I was in a similar situation, I gave a gift certificate to a store that sells silver. I didn't feel like it was putting a price tag on anything, just that I didn't know of anything she needed.

For something like a chocolate platter, you don't need to know that the person "needs" it. But I wanted to get something in a higher price range than a chocolate platter (the favor involved taking several kids and coordinating their schedules on a long term basis) and everything I thought of I was afraid that it might not be her taste.

amother

Mauve

Mon, Jul 25 2022, 6:56 am

Recently had a similar situation and bought a beautiful Nishmas acrylic card from Yaeli Vogel
Her acrylic art is beautiful different and reasonably priced
https://yaelivogel.com/collect.....age=3

amother

Darkblue

Mon, Jul 25 2022, 7:04 am

The magazine subscription is a clever idea since it keeps giving. You could also get them a family membership to a fun museum they like or an outing to an exciting activity. I second the idea that a heartfelt note will express how much their kindness meant to you at a difficult time. I hope your challenging times are past you with happy days moving forward.

amother

Magenta

Mon, Jul 25 2022, 7:49 am

I think the magazine subscription or museum membership.... is a good idea, just find out if they already have it...

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