Is this a normal amount?

amother

Tue, Jul 26 2022, 9:35 pm

We are 2 adults + 3 kids living out of town and our total monthly expenses are $9-10k on average. We are not excessive spenders at all, but my husband thinks this is a ridiculous amount to be spending every month. Can anyone weigh in on whether this is an average amount for our family size? Thanks!

amother

White

Tue, Jul 26 2022, 9:37 pm

If housing and childcare/tuition costs are very high where you live, this could be normal. Otherwise it sounds like a lot.

amother

Chestnut

Tue, Jul 26 2022, 9:43 pm

That’s about 100k a year. Not a lot at all with 3 kids.

amother

Eggplant

Tue, Jul 26 2022, 9:46 pm

Does this include tuition?

amother

Tue, Jul 26 2022, 10:03 pm

amother [ Eggplant ] wrote:

Does this include tuition?

Yes, this includes everything - tuition, mortgage, etc

amother

Navyblue

Tue, Jul 26 2022, 10:03 pm

We spend that much after tuition and mortgage.

amother

Tue, Jul 26 2022, 10:04 pm

amother [ Navyblue ] wrote:

We spend that much after tuition and mortgage.

3 kids?

amother

Beige

Tue, Jul 26 2022, 10:10 pm

Really would need to see a breakdown of costs.

$1000 maaser
$3000 tuition
$2500 housing
$2500 food/household/clothing
$1000 transportation
...is already $10,000 per month.

OTOH if it's
$500 tzedakah
$1500 tuition
$2500 housing
$500 transportation
$2000 food/household
$3000 misc.
...you might have where to cut down.

amother

Tan

Tue, Jul 26 2022, 10:23 pm

$4500 tuition
$1000 mortgage
$1000 car payments, insurance, gas
$300 utilities
$1200 cc minumum payments
$1000 food

amother

Navyblue

Wed, Jul 27 2022, 7:11 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

3 kids?

Yup

amother

Gray

Wed, Jul 27 2022, 7:45 am

We have 3 kids and spend about 13-15k a month in Lakewood. I wish we could spend 9-10

amother

Navyblue

Wed, Jul 27 2022, 7:52 am

amother [ Gray ] wrote:

We have 3 kids and spend about 13-15k a month in Lakewood. I wish we could spend 9-10

Before or after mortgage and tuition? Health insurance? We’re spending 9-10 after all that.

Amarante

Wed, Jul 27 2022, 9:19 am

I think you need to sit down with your husband for an afternoon and go over your budget.

That would include ALL expenses and then determine whether there is "fat" in the budget and whether BOTH OF YOU agree that you want to shift priorities a bit and save where there is some discretionary amounts.

There are some items that are fixed like mortgage and insurance premiums and tuition.

Others that might fluctuate but are still not discretionary like utilities - I.e. electricity can be more in the summer because of A/C but fuel might be higher in the winter for heating

And then there are line items like food. Perhaps your husband doesn't realize how much food costs so if you do the shopping you should be prepared to show him receipts for the last month or so. I am not so conscious of food items but I admit that I was shocked when I saw that a pint of ice cream (Haagen Daaz) was now $6.50. I was so shocked that I asked my friend whether I had gone to an expensive store and she said that was the standard price now. I also noticed that the produce I buy from Costco has also risen significantly. This isn't a vent - it is just pointing out that someone who doesn't shop might not realize how much common items have increased in price.

Once you do this at least you and your husband will be on the same page in terms of priorities. As this thread progresses there will be posts where people see that it is *normal*; people who spend much less or have larger families and people who spend more. It really doesn't matter - what matters is that you have a certain amount of income each month - and you and your husband need to determine together how to spend it.

The bottom line is that you don't have enough money to spend with wild abandon especially if you aren't saving sufficiently for emergencies; long term goals AND retirement but you do have enough so that you should have a *comfortable* life style.