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Forum -> Inquiries & Offers -> Moving/ Relocating
About to sign but my heart isn’t in it
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Jul 26 2022, 11:17 pm
We’ve been looking to buy for almost a year although we’ve had our feelers out for close to 2 years. There isn’t much available in our area and prices are quite high for what we (I - hubby is easy) want.

A house which will give me close to 85-90% of what I want is available and the papers are coming through any day. The price is great.

I’m not crazy about the street although the location is great. I haven’t really done research on the neighbours (I know there are lots of families around) because the house itself is a good deal and when something like this comes on the market in this area you don’t waste time.

The house itself is not anything like I thought I’d end up with.

My dream house does exist way over on the other end of town for a lot more money.

Am I making a mistake? Should I be signing papers with a pit in my stomach?

Or do I just have to come to terms with the fact that my dream house is out of our budget and it’s time to stop dreaming now?

I thought I’d know when we find the right one. This feels like we’re going ahead really because there’s no reason to say no.
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amother
Hyssop


 

Post Tue, Jul 26 2022, 11:25 pm
I'm so sorry, OP. What a hard feeling.

Sort of like being pressured to say yes to a shidduch when you're not sure yet because "he won't wait for you."
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ohmygosh




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 26 2022, 11:29 pm
I would sign.

You'll make it your dream house. With the memories you'll create.

Don't get caught up on what could be. I'm sure the other house has downsides to it as well. If you have a good block and a reasonable house, how much more can you ask for?
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amother
Pistachio


 

Post Tue, Jul 26 2022, 11:29 pm
Hmmm not sure. Is it called settling or being realistic? It's a tough call.

One thing I would suggest is to make a few phone calls about the neighbors. Some people can suck the life out of you and it doesn't matter how well priced the house is, they can take the joy out of living. I think it's a pretty easy thing to try to prevent potential heartache.

Good luck with your decision. Perhaps drive up and down the block a few times? See if you think you can like it one day?...
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Not_in_my_town




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 26 2022, 11:32 pm
In a few years you may be able to upgrade. It's in a frum area, chances are that the prices will just keep rising as demand increases. Then, you can hopefully buy something a littler further out that fits your desires.
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amother
Topaz


 

Post Tue, Jul 26 2022, 11:34 pm
In todays market, I would take a deep breath and sign! If you have been looking around for a while and see its a good deal, go for it.
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amother
Mocha


 

Post Tue, Jul 26 2022, 11:39 pm
I would go for it. If you really feel unhappy there over time, you can sell and buy something else.
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amother
Cerulean


 

Post Tue, Jul 26 2022, 11:44 pm
You can always change the house but not the location. Make sure ur ok with the block and surrounding area. That was one mistake I made. Pretty decent house inside but blah neighbors. I needed a more outgoing type of block and mine is the exact opposite.
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amother
Milk


 

Post Tue, Jul 26 2022, 11:47 pm
If it’s 85-90% then I would go for it. 100% Perfect doesn’t exist.. first sign and then research the things that are bothering you.
what would it cost you to back out of contract if you find out about something really non negotiable?
I’m still ripping my hair out we lost on a great deal because wasn’t sure and it’s something could’ve verified while in contract and back out easily if need. Much much Hatzlacha and Mazel!!
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familyfirst




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 26 2022, 11:49 pm
Go for it
We bought property that I thought was way overpriced and needed tons of help

We made the property work for us. Slowly but surely this will be not just a hiuse but a home. Dream home? That may be or may not be but taking risks helps you move forward
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amother
DarkGreen


 

Post Wed, Jul 27 2022, 2:04 am
I'll be the lone voice.

I think you should figure out if not wanting to sign is your gut talking or just your resistance to a home you didn't want.

If it's your gut, then I think you shouldn't sign.
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amother
Cappuccino


 

Post Wed, Jul 27 2022, 2:13 am
Ask yourself how you'd feel if if it was pulled off the market right now.
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amother
OP


 

Post Wed, Jul 27 2022, 2:21 am
amother [ DarkGreen ] wrote:
I'll be the lone voice.

I think you should figure out if not wanting to sign is your gut talking or just your resistance to a home you didn't want.

If it's your gut, then I think you shouldn't sign.


This is exactly what I’m asking myself. How do I figure out the difference??
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amother
OP


 

Post Wed, Jul 27 2022, 2:23 am
amother [ Cappuccino ] wrote:
Ask yourself how you'd feel if if it was pulled off the market right now.


Probably relieved. Definitely not disappointed. Maybe just because it will give me the chance to dream again for something unrealistic 🤷‍♀️
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amother
Electricblue


 

Post Wed, Jul 27 2022, 2:41 am
I totally understand. I had the same thing except I didn't have a dream home waiting on the other side of town, there was literally nothing else in the area we wanted to be (anywhere walking distance to our Shul) so we went for it. We've done repairs and I love whatever we did but I still don't love this house or feel settled in it. I know this is unpopular opinion, but I say if you can wing the numbers, see if you can make that dream house work.
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amother
OP


 

Post Wed, Jul 27 2022, 2:44 am
amother [ Electricblue ] wrote:
I totally understand. I had the same thing except I didn't have a dream home waiting on the other side of town, there was literally nothing else in the area we wanted to be (anywhere walking distance to our Shul) so we went for it. We've done repairs and I love whatever we did but I still don't love this house or feel settled in it. I know this is unpopular opinion, but I say if you can wing the numbers, see if you can make that dream house work.


The truth is the only down side about the dream house is that it’s far from shul (and the price right now) and hubby isn’t keen on being so far out. But that house closer in would probably be even more expensive.
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amother
Cappuccino


 

Post Wed, Jul 27 2022, 4:03 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Probably relieved. Definitely not disappointed. Maybe just because it will give me the chance to dream again for something unrealistic 🤷‍♀️


Sorry, that didn't help you much then! Tongue Out

How far is "far" from Shul? Any chance another Shul will open closer, if neighborhood is getting more frum people moving in - is it?
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amother
Plum


 

Post Wed, Jul 27 2022, 4:44 am
When we bought our home over 20 years ago I can't say I was totally excited by it. I was probably 80% happy, 20% not. But it was good, and we fixed it up. It becomes a home. If the real estate agent would have said its off the market I would have been upset. It did have alot of what was ''good'' for us to make it work. If you don't have that feeling of ''oiy my home is off the market'' then maybe give it a rethink. The only thing I would tell you is to think clearly because of high prices. Can you get a home that you love in your price range.
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amother
DarkRed


 

Post Wed, Jul 27 2022, 6:18 am
We bought our dream house a few blocks from our dream neighborhood.

We’re on the edge of the frum community and there’s nobody for DS8 to play with. He comes home from school/camp and reads/kvetched till bedtime.

While I don’t regret the move, this is a challenge!
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Not_in_my_town




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 27 2022, 7:27 am
OP, two thoughts to consider:

Depending on where you are, the community may spread, so "far out" may not be far out in a couple years. If you can swing the price on the dream home, do some research into the dynamics of the area. Is it growing? Are the borders spreading in that direction?

I bought my home a decade ago, and 50% of the block was not Jewish. Now it feels like Lee Avenue in Williamsburg... I b'davka want to move further out at this point for some privacy.

In many place, the community is growing by leaps and bounds. It may be only a few years before your dream house is on a bustling block.

Second thought: I originally bought a tiny house at a bargain price, but then we build up and now have a dream house. Even if the house you are signing on isn't perfect, if there is property, you may be able to extend and add on a dream extension in the future.
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