Home
Log in / Sign Up
    Private Messages   Advanced Search   Rules   New User Guide   FAQ   Advertise   Contact Us  
Forum -> Vacation and Traveling
Should we go?
1  2  Next



Post new topic   Reply to topic View latest: 24h 48h 72h

amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Jul 31 2022, 10:38 am
In the summer we usually go on a small family vacation thats a few hours drive and maybe stay 2 nights. Nothing major but it's almost every year.
This year we went to England to my parents for pesach. They paid for our tickets and we paid for the trips, food, car rental and whatever else came up.
Now it's the summer and my kids are asking about taking a vacation and I'm torn.
On the one hand we do a little vacation every summer, on the other hand we already did a big family trip this year.
We are pretty frugal and use a very specified budget but the money is technically there. If we don't go we'll save that money, we are far from well to do.
I also didn't like being asked to go as if it was a given "where are we going this year....?" It bothers me that they feel entitled to a vacation. Maybe it bothers me because I grew up never going on family vacations and I feel like my kids don't appreciate that it is a luxury of some sorts.
Back to top

amother
NeonOrange


 

Post Sun, Jul 31 2022, 10:41 am
If you do something every year, I would think it’s more something they look forward to, not necessarily something they feel entitled to. We do a road trip every summer, and I know my kids look forward to it. It’s not that they think they are entitled, it’s that they enjoy it. They like helping plan it, getting ready, and they (usually) enjoy once we are on the road.
If you can swing it, I don’t see any reason why you shouldn’t go.
Back to top

amother
Crocus


 

Post Sun, Jul 31 2022, 10:41 am
Instead of being bothered by their questions I think you should feel proud that your kids really enjoy your vacations and want to do it again. If your England trip was instead of the summer vacation you can just tell your kids that. If not and you have the money set aside then you should go on the vacation. Those happy childhood memories are priceless.
Back to top

amother
Nasturtium


 

Post Sun, Jul 31 2022, 10:41 am
Can you do a 'staycation'? Stay home but do really exciting day trips and activities, pizza for lunch and restaurant for supper etc? So you still save money but your kids got to do something special
Back to top

ra_mom




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jul 31 2022, 10:42 am
I understand your thought process.
But think about it as family memories. This isn't something they feel entitled to. This is an amazing part of their childhood, the memories they hold are so amazing to them, it feels like a family tradition.
This is what they will reminisce about and tell their children about.
Back to top

amother
Aubergine


 

Post Sun, Jul 31 2022, 10:45 am
If you can afford it yes go!!
Back to top

amother
Daphne


 

Post Sun, Jul 31 2022, 10:46 am
"we went to England this year as our big trip so we're going to do a nearby vacation and just do x y and z "
Back to top

amother
Lightpink


 

Post Sun, Jul 31 2022, 10:58 am
OP, omg live a little. You have the money, it's something you do every year that your kids are looking forward to (and not the same as pesach) and it's two nights- we aren't talking about a 10 day cruise here. Frugality is not a religion. Yes, you'll have a little more money in the bank if you don't go but who cares. life is short and these times are precious.
Back to top

amother
Pink


 

Post Sun, Jul 31 2022, 11:14 am
Our 2/3 day summer trips (usually a 1-2 hr drive away) are talked about in our house the entire year. My kids literally wait for this, and I am so happy we have these memories
(And we are not floating in cash by any stretch of the imagination)
Back to top

amother
Crimson


 

Post Sun, Jul 31 2022, 11:51 am
We just were debating the same thing. We took a big trip overseas shavuos this year and my husband thought it was overkill to go away in the summer like we usually do.
Ultimately, we are going to do it. It’s become a tradition that my kids thrive on all year. We are going to focus on hiking and simple family time, not expensive parks or outings.
Back to top

amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Jul 31 2022, 12:03 pm
I think family vacations are important, we did go all out while in England, I am not being cheap. I was looking for perspective on if this is something we should still do or if we can skip this year. Vacations are not vacations they are a lot of work, a lot of meltdowns and fighting in public spaces. I don't do it for me or for my husband we do it for the kids.

Another random point - the week we would go is one week after my husband will be coming back from a week long business trip. I will be wanting a break from my kids not a stressful trip with all of them.

I did not voice my thoughts to my husband or my kids. I'm kind of wishing we could skip it.

In terms of money, this is not money that would be taking away from my diamond necklace or designer handbag. It would be making the regular parts of our budget tighter. Doable but not ideal. Again if it's important we will do it like we do other years. I feel offended for being called a cheapskate. It's called being responsible.
Back to top

tichellady




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jul 31 2022, 12:06 pm
it’s up to you. just make a decision and be firm with your kids about it and let them know when they can expect the next trip. or maybe plan a staycation day as something in between
Back to top

amother
Jade


 

Post Sun, Jul 31 2022, 12:07 pm
Can you do a free/cheap day trip? My kids have amazing memories from those. Tell your kids that England was the trip this year but you may do something special with them one day this summer.
Back to top

amother
Amaryllis


 

Post Sun, Jul 31 2022, 12:11 pm
Op, you’re not being a cheapskate and you’re not the only one trying to budget responsibly. I can’t tell you what to do but if you’re asking for opinions, I’d say take the kids on their summer vacation.
The memories and closeness that come from those vacations last forever in spite of the bickering and kicking the backs of seats and are we there yet. When you budget it’s always one thing instead of another. If it’s vacation or making your monthly mortgage payment you have no choice but if you can cut a little here and there, make it happen.
You sound like you need your own vacation too. I wonder if you can also plan something relaxing and fun for yourself at some point.
Back to top

amother
Magnolia


 

Post Sun, Jul 31 2022, 12:16 pm
If it's something you typically do every year, your kids are not being entitled by anticipating you are doing your usual trip this summer.
Now, that doesn't mean you have to. You can always explain it's not happening this year for whatever reason.
But why cast your kids into the role of being spoiled and entitled? They probably have friends who go on major trips to fancy attractions, and they're not asking or whining for that. Just inquiring about your usual annual trip, which is totally normal if you are a ten year and that's been your life experience up till now.
Back to top

amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Jul 31 2022, 12:29 pm
amother [ Magnolia ] wrote:
If it's something you typically do every year, your kids are not being entitled by anticipating you are doing your usual trip this summer.
Now, that doesn't mean you have to. You can always explain it's not happening this year for whatever reason.
But why cast your kids into the role of being spoiled and entitled? They probably have friends who go on major trips to fancy attractions, and they're not asking or whining for that. Just inquiring about your usual annual trip, which is totally normal if you are a ten year and that's been your life experience up till now.


Good points.
Maybe I'm upset at myself that we created this expectation. It's not a special thing anymore, it's just what we do, but it is special. It's a lot of work and a lot of stress and a lot of money tightening.

Yes whomever said I need a vacation myself is probably right. That's probably where this is coming from.
Back to top

chanchy123




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jul 31 2022, 12:34 pm
We also did an overseas trip during the year, so we are not going on a real vacation this summer (which we’ve done occasionally in the past) so we’re going camping for the fraction of a price that a short vacation at a hotel or trimmer (vacation rental).
Back to top

amother
Gladiolus


 

Post Sun, Jul 31 2022, 12:41 pm
If I was in your position, I would tell the kids that we already did a big trip this year and you know that they look forward every summer to the trip but it's hard on you to do another trip. I actually once enumerated to the kids all the physical work that I need to do in order to go. It wasn't in a guilt-inducing way or even me complaining. I simply wanted to create the awareness for them to understand why we were cutting down that year. (They understood the challenging circumstances going on at the time; they just didn't see what the big deal was about going away.)

In your position, I would probably do a major day trip or even one overnight. Cut it down in a way that's easier for you to handle, not as long, not as much packing and planning, but still nice fun times. Tell your kids that because of ab and c, you thought of not doing a trip altogether, and at the same time validate for them that this is something they look forward to and you also love to do it as a family therefore, you'll be doing xyz (which you decided already). No need to consult them or get their approval. State what will happen, but it's ok to give explanation.
Back to top

amother
Cantaloupe


 

Post Sun, Jul 31 2022, 12:49 pm
In some ways it's a pity you didn't discuss it as a family earlier, so everyone knew what to expect.

We always went away for two weeks in the summer, normally camping in France. One year my grandmother was critically ill, and my parents had to cancel at the last minute. Obviously they were trying to shelter us, but they just told us the holiday was cancelled with no reason. My grandmother was actually niftar around the time when we would have been away. It took me years to put the two facts together, and realize why we hadn't been able to go away that year.

Your children probably don't see any connection between spending Pesach with their family in England and the regular summer trip. And even if you had stayed home, you would probably have made an effort for Pesach, so why should one affect the other? If you do want to cancel the summer trip, you need to explain it to them.
Back to top

amother
Magnolia


 

Post Sun, Jul 31 2022, 1:06 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Good points.
Maybe I'm upset at myself that we created this expectation. It's not a special thing anymore, it's just what we do, but it is special. It's a lot of work and a lot of stress and a lot of money tightening.
.

You really can't expect kids to realize that on their own, maybe teenagers you can.
I don't even know if it's so healthy to put it that way to them. Because as someone who was a naturally sensitive and anxious child I picked up those sort of comments between my parents and stress vibes from them, and all it accomplished was to make me feel nervous and guilty, that my parents resented the burden of doing stuff for us, plus made me never want to ask them for any favors ever, especially if it involved $ or getting a ride to a friend's house or extracurricular activity. I don't think it was healthy for me, and it really had a negative effect on me that lasts to this day.
There needs to be a balance.
Back to top
Page 1 of 2 1  2  Next Recent Topics




Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Vacation and Traveling