The newborn stage | Imamother

amother

Tue, Aug 02 2022, 8:11 pm

I just had my first a couple of months ago and this is soooooooo hard! Before I was married I babysat babies all the time, newborn and up, and it wasn't easy but it wasn't this difficult. Obviously, it's different because this baby is mine 24/7. I love children, babies and up, and used to always help out people with their children. I knew it was going to be hard, but never imagined it'd be this difficult. I know my baby is harder the fact that he has reflux and is collicy... but is it going to always be this hard with newborns? I always dreamed of having a big family but can't even imagine having a second at this point. Does everyone struggle during the newborn stage or are some babies easier than others? Is it easier the more you have? How do you do it?

mushkamothers

Tue, Aug 02 2022, 8:14 pm

Your hormones took a huge hit, your marriage is being restructured around your new family, you are struggling with keeping yourself and baby alive. This all makes sense!! Babysitting isn't the same. It all gets easier. It's a really hard stage but it's just a stage. I have a free resource for you if you want to pm me for the link. Mazel tov and feel good!!

hodeez

Tue, Aug 02 2022, 8:18 pm

Always hard (aside from my second angel daughter who I can't seem to replicate) but for different reasons. My boys have severe allergies when they're babies, so breastfeeding is of course the worst game of elimination, and even when I stop breastfeeding ( and omg how it hurts even with a proper latch) and give formula it's always trial and error of which brand and type the kid will take and won't hurt his stomach or cause eczema flair ups. My first child never slept and just wasn't a happy baby. My youngest had a tongue tie and allergies, so that was a fun twist But bh they all grow out of it at some point, even if in the moment it seems like this is what life will always be like. I always say that gam zeh yaavor is a driving force in my life, for the good and the bad

amother

Bottlebrush

Tue, Aug 02 2022, 8:26 pm

Pregnancy and childbirth take a massive toll on your body... You're still recovering yourself and trying to do that without sleep and hardly a break. Maybe your husband can do night duty and give you a break. At some point you must get some sleep or you will collapse.

amother

Babyblue

Tue, Aug 02 2022, 8:38 pm

You sound like me. I also had my first. And im taking my time enjoying her and getting used to being a mommy before rushing to get pregnant again. Dont know how people pop out babies every year

amother

Tue, Aug 02 2022, 8:42 pm

So BH, I'm a teacher and had him right at the beginning of summer and have been off. My husband helps when he comes home from work as much as he can but it's hard because he cries all the time and it seems like nursing him is the only thing that calms him down(I feel like I'm nursing 24/7). It's really hard because can barely put him down without him screaming at the top of his lungs. I went to the mikvah this week and the second I left he woke up and screamed for an hour and half till I got home. I'm so anxious about going back to work and him being in daycare. Today a family was really nice and offered to watch him a couple of hours for me(I have no family here). (The whole time I was feeling anxious) He slept for a little but woke up and they gave him a bottle but he was non stop screaming and my husband picked him up early.. I seriously can't imagine having a second child at the same time. I wish so bad I could be a fly on the wall and see how other people do it. I keep trying to focus on the positive and enjoy the few minutes when he is happy, but it's hard and overwhelming to stay positive when I have to constantly hold him and can't take a minute to breathe. IyH it'll get easier asap

sarahph1

Tue, Aug 02 2022, 8:47 pm

That was the story with my second up until a few weeks ago bh
He screemed from the second he finished eating until he fell asleep and repeat but then once he turned 6 weeks he stopped doing all that and now is still fussier then my fist but overall much easier to deal with! It gets easier trust me!!!

amother

Lightblue

Tue, Aug 02 2022, 11:09 pm

My very smart teacher told me when she had her first she thought the same thing. She couldn’t imagine how people could possibly have more than one child ever. She now has about 12 (I think) children and has a baby almost every year. (And she is also principal of a large school!) It gets easier. The first is a huuuuuge adjustment. Don’t be hard on yourself, you are doing great. Amazing. Try not to think too much about having another one right now.

amother

Pumpkin

Wed, Aug 03 2022, 5:01 am

Some babies are definitely harder than others, but yes, most newborns are hard. I think my babies were pretty "average" like not particularly hard (colic, reflux etc) but not particularly easy either. Babies wake up every few hours in the beginning, there is no way around that. And sleep deprivation is hard. Definitely affected my family size. I would have had twice as many kids if not for the newborn stage. I never miss it either.

amother

Chocolate

Wed, Aug 03 2022, 5:10 am

So my first baby was an easy baby. She ate and slept and pooped nicely without an issue. All the things babies are supposed to do.

I had a 6 year break and my second is 1 year old. I think I am going to need another 6 years to recover from this one! (Truly hope not though). He didn't sleep normally until he was 10 months old. He had issues eating that made it all very unpleasant for everyone involved. He pooped ok so I guess 1/3 points for him.

Definitely depends on the baby. But I really dislike the newborn stage. I hate having my sleep totally out of whack for an unforeseeable future. I don't nurse because of the serious struggles I had with it. I just don't like not being able to do anything else besides for taking care of a crying little person every 1 to 5 to 15 min. Or if I am really lucky- a whole hr!

amother

Slateblue

Wed, Aug 03 2022, 5:43 am

My first newborn stage was the hardest time of my life. My second was hard but not as bad because I knew what to expect but I was relieved when it was over. My third was bliss. I loved every minute of the newborn stage because he's the sweetest baby ever and also because I grew enough as a mother to be able to roll through the hard times. I'm pregnant now with my fourth and I am looking forward to the newborn stage for the first time because I know what it can look like

amother

Maple

Wed, Aug 03 2022, 8:12 am

amother [ Lemonlime ] wrote:

For those whose infants already reached adulthood, were the very easy and very hard infants easier and harder to raise throughout their childhood, until adulthood?

Unfortunately yes imo
my hardest was my oldest and although not yet an adult, as a teenager still challenging. bh he's a great kid but the personality one is born with doesn't change. stubborn, doesn't give up, rigid, intense. there are pros to this type of personality too but not easy.
my second was an easier baby and still is an "easier" kid, laid back, not picky, more open to others. there are disadvantages to this type of personality too but it's not that constant always stepping on eggshells situation

amother

Apple

Wed, Aug 03 2022, 8:31 am

Every baby is different, even identical twins. Some are easy, some difficult. When my neighbor had her second, she was amazed at how easy he was compared to her first. So she thought she'd have a dozen kids, why not, it was so easy. Then along came #3 who was colicky for months, and that idea flew out the window.

And the #2 child who was such an easy baby you hardly knew he was there ended up being the most difficult one throughout childhood and B"H straightened out in his 20s.

amother

Wed, Aug 03 2022, 11:32 am

amother [ Babyblue ] wrote:

how old is your baby?
it takes time to navigate this.
Why is he crying so much? Have you considered taking him to a pediatric chiro?

He'll be 2 months in a couple of days.
I've been to the doctor so many times. I've given him mylicon, went to a lactation consultant, eliminated dairy from my diet, and now just started reflux meds..
What does a pediatric chiro do?

amother

Wed, Aug 03 2022, 11:33 am

sarahph1 wrote:

I can't wait till I can say that it gets easier! Sad