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amother




Viola
 

Post Thu, Aug 04 2022, 3:35 pm
mushkamothers wrote:
Don't listen to a single word of this and NEVER pay anybody money to tell you to ignore your child on purpose. Don't fool yourself, sitting on a chair next to them is still absolutely cry it out.

Op if you're a first time mother then so are your friends. So you're all passing around bad advice. Don't discuss sleep with them and you'll be much happier.

Water at night- another terrible idea. At this age they shouldn't have more than about 1oz of water with meals, and that's together with solid foods.

I thought this thread would be more like "my 18m old who absolutely 100% does not need the calories is still waking up every 2 hours at night to breastfeed"

You don't have to stop feeding your 7m old at night. There actually are ways to wean him off if it's a habitual waking but you don't have to.

This!
Your friends are giving terrible advice:(
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amother




Viola
 

Post Thu, Aug 04 2022, 3:42 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I don’t mind doing it! Friends just seem shocked that he’s still eating at night.

Don’t make decisions based upon friends. I have a large family bh and the most important piece of advice is to listen to your maternal instincts.
Much more important to feed your baby at night and be there for him emotionally then to listen to your friends.
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amother




Viola
 

Post Thu, Aug 04 2022, 3:44 pm
amother [ Indigo ] wrote:
Lol. Meet me then. Nursing my 9 month old every 2 -3 hours round the clock, including the night.

I know it's not ideal, but I can't deny him food if he's hungry...

Once a night is for sure normal, please don't give water instead or anything.

Your an amazing mom! Nothing bad about this at all. You should also give baby solids during the day along with nursing. This is ideal.
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amother




Viola
 

Post Thu, Aug 04 2022, 3:55 pm
amother [ Stone ] wrote:
Just wondering how people are 'ok' with wakimg up at night?
Dont you want to get a long stretch already?

Iv been there done that and its so exhausting.

Bh my last baby I managed to sleep train and he was sleeping through the night by 3 months by some miracle. He was also a very placid baby by nature bh bh!
I gave him enough milk during the day to know he wasnt hungry at night.
I kept upping his bottles to.make sure he was getting enoughh.
And even acc ti guideline he wasnt even having full amount but was content.

Plus I slowly stretched the times in between feeds at night so never was too drastic.

From the beginning I also never upped the middle of the night feed (from a certain amount) so he never became dependant on a big feed at night.

I think you can absolutely sleep train a baby and especially if you are bottle feeding.

If a newborn (and mine was small ish) can go at least 4 hours in between feeds forsure at night a 7 mo th old should be able to do at least an 8 hour stretch.
But it does take work, it isnt easy. And lots of perserverance.

Just wondering about everyone saying theyr fine to wake up at night...
Do you not WAnt to get uninterrupted sleep?
Or are you just too tired to work on the sleep training?

Which I totally get aswel.
Btdt.
My cousin came in when my baby was barely 2 weeks old and started talking about sleep training and I thought she was talking baloney!!
But a while after I saw that I could sloowly start making small steps..bh.

NEVER thought I would be getting full nights with a little one but bh Hashem helps..


This is sad to read. This goes against a babies natural development. There are no medals that are given to “training” a baby to sleep. Babies are people with needs and us moms are meant to take care of their needs 24 hours a day. Yes, we might not get the sleep we want but it’s a long term investment in care for our babies. What your recommending is really not good at all. Its forcing your baby to sleep so you can get some sleep. No newborn should ever be sleep training, that’s just cruel.
You can incorporate sleep healthy habits from day one, but always go and nurse your baby when they cry in middle of the night of hunger. Especially at the newborn stage.
Letting baby wait for 4 hours between feeds during the daytime isn’t good. You should be feeding newborns and infants on demand. When they want to eat. Please do some research about this as you seem uninformed on the latest and best methods of baby care.
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amother




Stone
 

Post Thu, Aug 04 2022, 4:17 pm
amother [ Viola ] wrote:
This is sad to read. This goes against a babies natural development. There are no medals that are given to “training” a baby to sleep. Babies are people with needs and us moms are meant to take care of their needs 24 hours a day. Yes, we might not get the sleep we want but it’s a long term investment in care for our babies. What your recommending is really not good at all. Its forcing your baby to sleep so you can get some sleep. No newborn should ever be sleep training, that’s just cruel.
You can incorporate sleep healthy habits from day one, but always go and nurse your baby when they cry in middle of the night of hungry. Especially at the newborn stage.
Letting baby wait for 4 hours between feeds during the daytime isn’t good. You should be feeding newborns and infants on demand. When they want to eat. Please do some research about this as you seem uninformed on the latest and best methods of baby care.


Lol there are no medals given to sleep train babies just like there are no medals given to moms who breastfeed.
A calm mother and a relaxed mother is a mother who can be there for all her children and able to take care of their needs.

Bh Hashem blessed me with a baby who slept well.

Also just want to add I definitely kept the 4 hour gap in between feeds even with my first who was exclusively breast fed.
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SRSH




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Aug 04 2022, 4:31 pm
My baby is 21months old. He still wakes up at night for bottles (although at this point I would love him to sleep through the night). At 7 months it's totally normal for babies to have a feed.
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amother




DarkViolet
 

Post Thu, Aug 04 2022, 4:34 pm
amother [ Azure ] wrote:
At 7 months, most babies should not need to nurse during the night. Ask your pediatrician just to be sure.

All our kids stopped night feedings between 3-5 months old, and began sleeping through the night from that point on after just a few nights of sleep training.


I agree. I was told this as well by my pediatrician. My baby was still waking up and not going back to sleep until she was fed until about 7-8 months. She slowly moved that time earlier and earlier until now (at 11 months) she sleeps through the night (bh bli ayin hara!) with an occasional wakeup that a pacifier can easily fix.

I think most mothers are going to use their seichel and not let their baby scream or kvetch all night long because they are attempting to "sleep train" them to go through the night. For the baby's sake and the mother's sanity. Just feed the baby for goodness sake so everyone can get back to sleep, right?

My older child also stopped needing a night feed quite early (4 months) but my younger one needed longer to transition. I was definitely actively trying to move things in that direction. It is not natural or healthy for a mom to be waking up 1 or more times a night to feed an older baby. Mom's need sleep too. I definitely did. I am just now starting to feel normal since having my baby.

At some point I did just give my baby a pacifier when she woke up instead of feeding her. Babies are pretty smart and know what they like (being held, being fed) and they will adapt to get those things if they keep being offered. So yes, if you just go right ahead and feed your baby as soon as he/she wakes up, you are training the baby to want (and get) that every single time. (Yes, sometimes the baby really, truly does need the feeding and it's up to your own personal judgement to decide what to do). But don't guilt moms into thinking it's bad to actively try to drop the night feeding at a healthy developmental age. Because it's not.
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amother




Lemonchiffon
 

Post Thu, Aug 04 2022, 4:37 pm
amother [ Topaz ] wrote:
Don't want to derail this thread. My 18 month old is still waking up for bottles. How do I gently stop this?


Not sure how you stop it. None of my kids ever took a bottle. My baby is still nursing throughout the night. She is 18 months old. I am now trying to sleep train her more. She did not gain weight nicely in the beginning due to an underlying health issue which? BH resolved. So I'm now up to trying to sleep train her. I think eventually they stop on their own.
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amother




Starflower
 

Post Thu, Aug 04 2022, 4:45 pm
mushkamothers wrote:
Don't listen to a single word of this and NEVER pay anybody money to tell you to ignore your child on purpose. Don't fool yourself, sitting on a chair next to them is still absolutely cry it out.

Op if you're a first time mother then so are your friends. So you're all passing around bad advice. Don't discuss sleep with them and you'll be much happier.

Water at night- another terrible idea. At this age they shouldn't have more than about 1oz of water with meals, and that's together with solid foods.

I thought this thread would be more like "my 18m old who absolutely 100% does not need the calories is still waking up every 2 hours at night to breastfeed"

You don't have to stop feeding your 7m old at night. There actually are ways to wean him off if it's a habitual waking but you don't have to.


I'm ok with you disagreeing with me, but at least counter with another idea

Another poster mentioned how she needed sleep. I did too, so I did what I said above. Will I have to for the next baby? Who knows. With a different temperament I can reevaluate.

Eta I did not do this at 7 months!! I fed baby religiously then.

I did it at 15 months when a bottle is no longer recommended and I wanted to wean baby off it. I was no longer breastfeeding.
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amother




Mauve
 

Post Thu, Aug 04 2022, 4:49 pm
Why do you need to stop feedings at 7 months? My 9 month old still takes a bottle in middle of the night. I never actively tried to stop night feedings with any of my kids. It petered out eventually.
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amother




Indigo
 

Post Thu, Aug 04 2022, 5:52 pm
amother [ Starflower ] wrote:
I'm ok with you disagreeing with me, but at least counter with another idea

Another poster mentioned how she needed sleep. I did too, so I did what I said above. Will I have to for the next baby? Who knows. With a different temperament I can reevaluate.

Eta I did not do this at 7 months!! I fed baby religiously then.

I did it at 15 months when a bottle is no longer recommended and I wanted to wean baby off it. I was no longer breastfeeding.


No one is saying you shouldn't sleep train at 15 months or even well before then!

But, many or most babies are not yet ready at 7 months and that's what posters are taking issue with.

We complain all day about kids being forced to fit in a mold, yet somehow babies are expected to all follow the same routine? Some babies need more, some less, you can't feed a baby by a textbook routine and expect it to be the right thing for all of them. My babies would be underfed if I forced them to drop night feedings at 7 months.
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amother




Cyclamen
 

Post Thu, Aug 04 2022, 9:55 pm
amother [ NeonPurple ] wrote:
Why?


cuz a child thats 6 months old needs to eat when he wants! They are not adults or animals and arent meant to be trained at such a young age!
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simmy17




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Aug 04 2022, 9:58 pm
amother [ Stone ] wrote:
Just wondering how people are 'ok' with wakimg up at night?
Dont you want to get a long stretch already?

Iv been there done that and its so exhausting.

Bh my last baby I managed to sleep train and he was sleeping through the night by 3 months by some miracle. He was also a very placid baby by nature bh bh!
I gave him enough milk during the day to know he wasnt hungry at night.
I kept upping his bottles to.make sure he was getting enoughh.
And even acc ti guideline he wasnt even having full amount but was content.

Plus I slowly stretched the times in between feeds at night so never was too drastic.

From the beginning I also never upped the middle of the night feed (from a certain amount) so he never became dependant on a big feed at night.

I think you can absolutely sleep train a baby and especially if you are bottle feeding.

If a newborn (and mine was small ish) can go at least 4 hours in between feeds forsure at night a 7 mo th old should be able to do at least an 8 hour stretch.
But it does take work, it isnt easy. And lots of perserverance.

Just wondering about everyone saying theyr fine to wake up at night...
Do you not WAnt to get uninterrupted sleep?
Or are you just too tired to work on the sleep training?

Which I totally get aswel.
Btdt.
My cousin came in when my baby was barely 2 weeks old and started talking about sleep training and I thought she was talking baloney!!
But a while after I saw that I could sloowly start making small steps..bh.

NEVER thought I would be getting full nights with a little one but bh Hashem helps..


To me its part of the package of having a baby!
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amother




Viola
 

Post Thu, Aug 04 2022, 11:05 pm
amother [ Stone ] wrote:
Lol there are no medals given to sleep train babies just like there are no medals given to moms who breastfeed.
A calm mother and a relaxed mother is a mother who can be there for all her children and able to take care of their needs.

Bh Hashem blessed me with a baby who slept well.

Also just want to add I definitely kept the 4 hour gap in between feeds even with my first who was exclusively breast fed.

Poor baby! Please don’t keep to a 4 hour gap between feeds. This isn’t the current medical advice. Feed your baby when they are hungry. Dont look at the clock. Breast milk goes through the system so fast. A breastfed baby who has to wait 4 hours for food is being made to be hungry:( Very sad
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amother




Stone
 

Post Fri, Aug 05 2022, 4:21 am
amother [ Viola ] wrote:
Poor baby! Please don’t keep to a 4 hour gap between feeds. This isn’t the current medical advice. Feed your baby when they are hungry. Dont look at the clock. Breast milk goes through the system so fast. A breastfed baby who has to wait 4 hours for food is being made to be hungry:( Very sad


This baby was my chubbiest baby.
Bh gained v well, and went through a week in ICU before coming home.

If a baby is fed often they will not have a big feed and just 'snack' , whereas a baby who has a bigger gap will be able to have a bigger feed and feel.fuller for longer.
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amother




Powderblue
 

Post Fri, Aug 05 2022, 5:56 am
I don't relate to this at all. Of course as someone here said "I want a long stretch" but this is not about me, it's about my baby. The same way "I want privacy" or "I want quiet" doesn't always go with being a mom, neither does sleep time. You're the adult. You have to be flexible. "training a baby" isn't always the way to go. Why don't you "train yourself" to manage with less consecutive sleep like you train your baby to manage with less food? Make it up during the day the way you expect them to.

I also don't relate to this "giving a big feed" "giving a snack". I nursed all my babies (9 bah) and I could never persuade a baby who wasn't hungry to just "eat a bit more" because I wanted them to be fuller or a baby who was hungry "to just take a snack" because I wanted them to eat less. They eat what they need, when they need it.

When they are about 9 months, I give a meal of solids before bedtime and then they start sleeping longer but I can't ever persuade them to drink more milk.

Some of them slept through the night at 8 weeks, some at 8 years! Every child is different.

And I also don't buy the "by teaching my child to sleep earlier I'm doing them a favor teaching them to self soothe." nor "by looking after myself, I'm making them a better mother." Obviously you need to get your rest but getting up once in the night won't make you a bad mother. OP is not saying her baby is up every hour. She said once in 10 hours. Come on. and all my kids self soothe. Some are better sleepers than others.
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amother




Stone
 

Post Fri, Aug 05 2022, 7:26 am
amother [ Powderblue ] wrote:
I don't relate to this at all. Of course as someone here said "I want a long stretch" but this is not about me, it's about my baby. The same way "I want privacy" or "I want quiet" doesn't always go with being a mom, neither does sleep time. You're the adult. You have to be flexible. "training a baby" isn't always the way to go. Why don't you "train yourself" to manage with less consecutive sleep like you train your baby to manage with less food? Make it up during the day the way you expect them to.

I also don't relate to this "giving a big feed" "giving a snack". I nursed all my babies (9 bah) and I could never persuade a baby who wasn't hungry to just "eat a bit more" because I wanted them to be fuller or a baby who was hungry "to just take a snack" because I wanted them to eat less. They eat what they need, when they need it.

When they are about 9 months, I give a meal of solids before bedtime and then they start sleeping longer but I can't ever persuade them to drink more milk.

Some of them slept through the night at 8 weeks, some at 8 years! Every child is different.

And I also don't buy the "by teaching my child to sleep earlier I'm doing them a favor teaching them to self soothe." nor "by looking after myself, I'm making them a better mother." Obviously you need to get your rest but getting up once in the night won't make you a bad mother. OP is not saying her baby is up every hour. She said once in 10 hours. Come on. and all my kids self soothe. Some are better sleepers than others.


I think if I had this mentality I wouldnt have been able to have more kids.

I had a big gap between my last 2 and if I would do 'baby led' sleep and just go with the flow I would never have been able to manage.

Does this mean I shouldnt have had another one?
No, I dont think so.
I love my baby to bits and would give him the world, but in order to function and manage him I worked at trying to give him and me a better nights sleep.

Nothing was drastic and he never went hungry.
Just slowly , slowly increasing the times between feeds .
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amother




Viola
 

Post Fri, Aug 05 2022, 10:09 am
amother [ Stone ] wrote:
This baby was my chubbiest baby.
Bh gained v well, and went through a week in ICU before coming home.

If a baby is fed often they will not have a big feed and just 'snack' , whereas a baby who has a bigger gap will be able to have a bigger feed and feel.fuller for longer.

bh baby was chubby!
A nicu baby needs to eat more not less.
It’s much better for babies to eat less more frequently then eat a lot and have a bigger gap in between feeds. Breast milk no matter how much you give digests so rapidly. They need to be fed much more often. The current medical recommendation is to demand feed ( for bottle feeding babies as well) which means you feed baby when they are hungry, not when it’s convenient for us and our “schedules”.
For future babies please rethink this. I personally have learned a lot since I had my first son a long long time ago and have changed many things I do with my babies. Much nachas!
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amother




Viola
 

Post Fri, Aug 05 2022, 10:11 am
amother [ Powderblue ] wrote:
I don't relate to this at all. Of course as someone here said "I want a long stretch" but this is not about me, it's about my baby. The same way "I want privacy" or "I want quiet" doesn't always go with being a mom, neither does sleep time. You're the adult. You have to be flexible. "training a baby" isn't always the way to go. Why don't you "train yourself" to manage with less consecutive sleep like you train your baby to manage with less food? Make it up during the day the way you expect them to.

I also don't relate to this "giving a big feed" "giving a snack". I nursed all my babies (9 bah) and I could never persuade a baby who wasn't hungry to just "eat a bit more" because I wanted them to be fuller or a baby who was hungry "to just take a snack" because I wanted them to eat less. They eat what they need, when they need it.

When they are about 9 months, I give a meal of solids before bedtime and then they start sleeping longer but I can't ever persuade them to drink more milk.

Some of them slept through the night at 8 weeks, some at 8 years! Every child is different.

And I also don't buy the "by teaching my child to sleep earlier I'm doing them a favor teaching them to self soothe." nor "by looking after myself, I'm making them a better mother." Obviously you need to get your rest but getting up once in the night won't make you a bad mother. OP is not saying her baby is up every hour. She said once in 10 hours. Come on. and all my kids self soothe. Some are better sleepers than others.

Very well written!
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