Looks like hes been exposed...

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Our Challenging Children (gifted, ADHD, sensitive, defiant)

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amother

Thu, Aug 04 2022, 7:09 pm

Hi

My 8 yo son has high functioning Asd.
We just had a meeting with child pgyschologist who recently did a full cognitive assesment.

One of the things that came up was she saw on one of the pictures he drew, there were indications that hes been exposed.
We explained that yes, there was an incident a while ago where we were eating out at a family ,and the son, who is probably around 10, took him upstairs and they showed each other private parts etc.

What I didnt realise is that it must have affected him more then I thought, for it to come out in a drawing.

She also picked up on some aggression at home. Which is basicly when my husband loses control, he does have anger issues. Has occasionally smacked said child, or physically removed him.
My husband also was happy to discuss thhis, whereas I did not want to bring it into my childs therapy session.

Not sure why Im writing this.
Im feeling very vulnerable, I guess.
Its always our biggest fear for a child like my sons, to be abused. Because he is extremely vulnerable and a very easy target.

I also feel a tiny bit relieved but also quite sad and misheard, that finally, the thing that I dreaded, that one of my childs therapist will find out about the issues between me and my husband.
She definitsly saw aggression in some of the tests my child did and I felt very awkward to hear.

Thank you for reading this.
Im happy I have somewhere to shed my feelings a little bit.

leahleah

Thu, Aug 04 2022, 7:52 pm

I don't have anything insightful to respond, except that I admire you for seeking guidance and support while raising this special child.

amother

NeonOrange

Thu, Aug 04 2022, 9:10 pm

It's normal for children to experiment and show each other private parts.
It's ok if a parent very occasionally smacks a child. It's normal for a parent to need to physically remove a child.

dankbar

Thu, Aug 04 2022, 9:20 pm

Tension in home should not be hidden from children's therapists, because it does affect them & needs to be worked through

amother

Nemesia

Thu, Aug 04 2022, 9:38 pm

Hugs OP, thank you for allowing your son to get the help he needs to heal from this!

amother

Fri, Aug 05 2022, 4:32 am

Thank you.

I cant stop thinking about it, I wish I had some more help. Im really feeling doen about this. Anyone gone through similar ?

I cant really express my feelings to my husband, I wish we could deal with this together.

freilich

Fri, Aug 05 2022, 8:33 am

OP we all crave a perfect life, a perfect world, and mostly a perfect home for our children. I have come to realize that, that doesn't exist anywhere. Perfection is only Hashem.

What you're saying here is quite normal things to happen in regular healthy homes. That doesn't mean that dh shouldn't work on his anger issues, or that kids should be OK going around showing their privates. It just means that we are all living in an imperfect world, where we have our work cut out for us.

amother

Fri, Aug 05 2022, 9:57 am

Is this an ok thing to go around?

On his report it says he drew the family with the father hurting someone, sibling hurting the mother erc. Smacking showing aggression.

It also says he has had some exposure.

Im embaressed and frighterned for his school, other therapists and (non jewish) proffesionals to see this.
Is this baseless?
Can anyone do anything.?

Should I ask her to take it out?
Am I being too anxious.?

amother

Sienna

Fri, Aug 05 2022, 11:52 am

I have no idea what you should do. But from my experiences, I have learned that it is unhealthy and even dangerous to give so much power to the therapist who may help you. You hire them, they help you, but unless there is ongoing horrible abuse, you don't have to feel that they can expose you or whatever. They are hired to help you. If they aren't, dump them. Honestly, I've met enough who are wack jobs on a power kick. The best ones are the ones who say you are an expert on your child, what do you think and then offer insight as to how to implement wanted change. Someone who acts like they're god and makes you feel bad? Just no.

amother

Pink

Fri, Aug 05 2022, 11:55 am

Most children play Dr.
I'm glad your husband is willing to work along with the situation and fix things.

amother

Yesterday at 7:55 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Bump