 |
|
 |
 |
|
|
Forum
-> Household Management
-> Finances
|
amother
Jasmine
|
 Tue, Aug 09 2022, 8:17 pm
Ouch, it is such a painful place to be in.
Bikur cholim organizations should help not financially with therapy expenses and more.
| |
|
| Back to top |
 3
 0
|
|
amother
Slategray
|
Tue, Aug 09 2022, 8:27 pm
I recommended Rabbi Goldwasser pls reach out, just bc these Rabbis have hundreds of people contacting them - call again in a few days morning hours are best quiet times ... reach out to ohel, nefesh mental health etc... research in your neighborhood
There's shoe gemach, clothing gemach, bikur cholim, ladies who volunteer to cook for you food tomechei shabbos, pls utilize all these org they're there for you to get you on your feet and help your family while you're struggling...
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
|
amother
Slategray
|
Tue, Aug 09 2022, 9:12 pm
Bobbies Place Clothing Gemach:
1401 Locust Ave, Brooklyn, NY 11230
(718) 677-4399
Heart and Soul Shoe Gemach:
Call E. Gut: 718-951-6786
Not sure where you're located here's a listing for lakewood gemachs - chesed org
https://www.chesedspot.org/new.....ewood
General all locations:
https://www.chesedspot.org/fin.....iture
Much hatzlocha!!! Truly wish I can help you financially beH you'll be on your feet very shortly pls try to speak with a Rebbetzin for emotional support and guidance she can direct you to askanim locally who'd live to help you 😊
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
4
|
|
amother
OP
|
Tue, Aug 09 2022, 9:19 pm
| amother [ Slategray ] wrote: | Bobbies Place Clothing Gemach:
1401 Locust Ave, Brooklyn, NY 11230
(718) 677-4399
Heart and Soul Shoe Gemach:
Call E. Gut: 718-951-6786
Not sure where you're located here's a listing for lakewood gemachs - chesed org
https://www.chesedspot.org/new.....ewood
General all locations:
https://www.chesedspot.org/fin.....iture
Much hatzlocha!!! Truly wish I can help you financially beH you'll be on your feet very shortly pls try to speak with a Rebbetzin for emotional support and guidance she can direct you to askanim locally who'd live to help you 😊 |
Thanks! Chesed spot looks like an amazing resource! Much appreciated!
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
|
amother
Poppy
|
Tue, Aug 09 2022, 9:33 pm
I know this is not what you reached out for, but there is someone in Lakewood who takes a completely different approach with struggling teens, he runs a music and mentorship program called YTI, your son does not have to be musical to join. I highly suggest giving him a call Chananya Begun 3476458087
For parents who cannot pay, he has donors to sponsor them.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
1
|
notshanarishona
|
Tue, Aug 09 2022, 9:35 pm
|
I have used fundbox when I am in a pinch to pay the mortgage. Their interest and fees are steep but it’s the only way outside of credit cards that I have found to borrow a few thousand at a time.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
1
|
|
amother
Gold
|
Wed, Aug 10 2022, 2:20 am
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | Thank you everyone for all ideas. Asking family, requesting specifics expenses be paid etc etc etc. I know it all. All I'm asking, is if someone knows of a contact where I can reach out to. I can explaon my needs to thst contact. Ideas I've tried all already...
For the one thst suggested Rabbi Goldwasser, I already emailed him, so thank you! That's helpful, as it's a resource for me to reach out to. I csn explain situation to him without needing to give all details to all imamothers.
I really appreciate it all, not trying to be ungrateful. But for now, I have enough advice. I need contacts/resources. Thanks! |
Op it doesn't sound like you are looking for resources. It sounds like you want imas to give you money or pay your rent for you.
Pretty much everyone here who has offered you "advice" has actually given you a resource to help with one or more specific expenses. But you don't want them. You don't want those resources, you say you're aware of them or give a reason why it's not helpful or won't work for you.
So just open a gofundme page and ask Yael if you can link it here, and ask directly, "I'm not managing financially, I don't think I need guidance or resources because I already know it all and have explored all the resources, I get my kid's therapy through insurance, I don't belong to a shul that I can ask $$ from, and I'm not open to stuff like Dave Ramsey or financial management because I'm managing fine, I just don't make ends meet yet. I already took another job and don't want to take a third or find something higher earning. Please just give me some money to pay off my credit card debt and make ends meet for the next few months at least. Thanks."
It's kind of insulting to everyone trying to help when you post saying that you want direction and guidance and then reject every post other than the one offering a direct donation.
"Resources" and "contacts" are not synonyms for "philanthropist who would be willing to offer me a pot of gold." It's misleading.
| |
|
| Back to top |
4
10
|
|
amother
Starflower
|
Wed, Aug 10 2022, 2:36 am
Because there is so much space for people to abuse this kind of help , even help for rent to free up cash for debt can be used inappropriately, usually the organizations don't give this kind of help.
What people in this situation usually do is reach out to a shul rav or family/ friends. I am sure that there are reasons you are no doing that, but it really is the way to get help. Many times wealthier shul members will give the rav funds to help other members discreetly.
You said that you are not part of any shul. Are there any local shuls that have a warm community that you can join?
I will caveat that usually rabbanim will be more committed to people who have been part of the community before the crisis hot, because these funds are limited, but reaching out doesn't hurt.
Family and friends can be hard to reach out to (and may already be contributing plenty) but sometimes you can ask a grandparent for help covering specific item x that the teen needs....
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
2
|
|
amother
OP
|
Wed, Aug 10 2022, 2:55 am
| amother [ Gold ] wrote: | Op it doesn't sound like you are looking for resources. It sounds like you want imas to give you money or pay your rent for you.
Pretty much everyone here who has offered you "advice" has actually given you a resource to help with one or more specific expenses. But you don't want them. You don't want those resources, you say you're aware of them or give a reason why it's not helpful or won't work for you.
So just open a gofundme page and ask Yael if you can link it here, and ask directly, "I'm not managing financially, I don't think I need guidance or resources because I already know it all and have explored all the resources, I get my kid's therapy through insurance, I don't belong to a shul that I can ask $$ from, and I'm not open to stuff like Dave Ramsey or financial management because I'm managing fine, I just don't make ends meet yet. I already took another job and don't want to take a third or find something higher earning. Please just give me some money to pay off my credit card debt and make ends meet for the next few months at least. Thanks."
It's kind of insulting to everyone trying to help when you post saying that you want direction and guidance and then reject every post other than the one offering a direct donation.
"Resources" and "contacts" are not synonyms for "philanthropist who would be willing to offer me a pot of gold." It's misleading. |
I can finally understand the many imamothers that sometimes feel attacked. I'm happy I've been in therapy long enough to let comments like yours slip right off my shoulder. If you have nothing to offer, rather don't comment at all. I asked for RESOURCES not ADVICE. I was reaching out because on Imamother there's a wider audience than just my circle of friends and family. I'm actually looking into some resources that imamothers mentioned and I found some quite helpful. People are kind and gracious and so I did thank the imamother that offered a donation because it was so thoughtful of her. I didn't even pm her to actually get it. Why exactly you're jumping on me is a mystery.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
9
|
|
amother
OP
|
Wed, Aug 10 2022, 3:00 am
| amother [ Starflower ] wrote: | Because there is so much space for people to abuse this kind of help , even help for rent to free up cash for debt can be used inappropriately, usually the organizations don't give this kind of help.
What people in this situation usually do is reach out to a shul rav or family/ friends. I am sure that there are reasons you are no doing that, but it really is the way to get help. Many times wealthier shul members will give the rav funds to help other members discreetly.
You said that you are not part of any shul. Are there any local shuls that have a warm community that you can join?
I will caveat that usually rabbanim will be more committed to people who have been part of the community before the crisis hot, because these funds are limited, but reaching out doesn't hurt.
Family and friends can be hard to reach out to (and may already be contributing plenty) but sometimes you can ask a grandparent for help covering specific item x that the teen needs.... |
Yes, I did reach out. As I mentioned earlier, I didn't only reach out on imamother. I spent the past few weeks reaching out to family, friends and wherever I had connections to. I posted to get additional ideas and I appreciate it all. Some I've tried before, some ideas mentioned here I tried today. So thanks again everyone!
| |
|
| Back to top |
1
2
|
naturalmom5
|
Wed, Aug 10 2022, 3:05 am
| amother [ Gold ] wrote: | Op it doesn't sound like you are looking for resources. It sounds like you want imas to give you money or pay your rent for you.
Pretty much everyone here who has offered you "advice" has actually given you a resource to help with one or more specific expenses. But you don't want them. You don't want those resources, you say you're aware of them or give a reason why it's not helpful or won't work for you.
So just open a gofundme page and ask Yael if you can link it here, and ask directly, "I'm not managing financially, I don't think I need guidance or resources because I already know it all and have explored all the resources, I get my kid's therapy through insurance, I don't belong to a shul that I can ask $$ from, and I'm not open to stuff like Dave Ramsey or financial management because I'm managing fine, I just don't make ends meet yet. I already took another job and don't want to take a third or find something higher earning. Please just give me some money to pay off my credit card debt and make ends meet for the next few months at least. Thanks."
It's kind of insulting to everyone trying to help when you post saying that you want direction and guidance and then reject every post other than the one offering a direct donation.
"Resources" and "contacts" are not synonyms for "philanthropist who would be willing to offer me a pot of gold." It's misleading. |
This about covers it
I was going to say this. Maybe not quite so harsh
But yes, OP the protocol on this site is you PM Yael and she vetts you to see if you qualify to post a link to a GFM or Cheseffund page
| |
|
| Back to top |
3
5
|
|
amother
OP
|
Wed, Aug 10 2022, 3:10 am
| amother [ Slategray ] wrote: | I recommended Rabbi Goldwasser pls reach out, just bc these Rabbis have hundreds of people contacting them - call again in a few days morning hours are best quiet times ... reach out to ohel, nefesh mental health etc... research in your neighborhood
There's shoe gemach, clothing gemach, bikur cholim, ladies who volunteer to cook for you food tomechei shabbos, pls utilize all these org they're there for you to get you on your feet and help your family while you're struggling... |
Yes I did reach out to Rabbi Goldwasser and started going through all the chesed options online. Your help is greatly appreciated!!
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
|
amother
OP
|
Wed, Aug 10 2022, 3:15 am
| naturalmom5 wrote: | This about covers it
I was going to say this. Maybe not quite so harsh
But yes, OP the protocol on this site is you PM Yael and she vetts you to see if you qualify to post a link to a GFM or Cheseffund page |
Thanks for not going harsh. Just voting for her comment is hurtful too and I don't appreciate it. If I'd like to open a Chesedfund page, I know what to do.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
|
amother
OP
|
Wed, Aug 10 2022, 3:18 am
| notshanarishona wrote: | | I have used fundbox when I am in a pinch to pay the mortgage. Their interest and fees are steep but it’s the only way outside of credit cards that I have found to borrow a few thousand at a time. |
Do you find their fees and interest rates are the same as credit cards or more hidden fees that I wouldn't be aware of?
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
|
amother
Latte
|
Wed, Aug 10 2022, 7:12 am
OP Hashem should give you the koach and the resources to get you to a better place. I was pained for you to read the harsh words from other IMAs as you seem to have done all your research and know your facts. It doesn't appear that you don't want to help yourself - you're being realistic with how much it's physically and emotionally possible for you to do whilst supporting and mothering your struggling children all on your own.
If you're in Monsey I think Kupas Ezra may be of help.
Hatzlacha and keep strong!
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
3
|
|
amother
Powderblue
|
Wed, Aug 10 2022, 7:40 am
| amother [ Gold ] wrote: | Op it doesn't sound like you are looking for resources. It sounds like you want imas to give you money or pay your rent for you.
Pretty much everyone here who has offered you "advice" has actually given you a resource to help with one or more specific expenses. But you don't want them. You don't want those resources, you say you're aware of them or give a reason why it's not helpful or won't work for you.
So just open a gofundme page and ask Yael if you can link it here, and ask directly, "I'm not managing financially, I don't think I need guidance or resources because I already know it all and have explored all the resources, I get my kid's therapy through insurance, I don't belong to a shul that I can ask $$ from, and I'm not open to stuff like Dave Ramsey or financial management because I'm managing fine, I just don't make ends meet yet. I already took another job and don't want to take a third or find something higher earning. Please just give me some money to pay off my credit card debt and make ends meet for the next few months at least. Thanks."
It's kind of insulting to everyone trying to help when you post saying that you want direction and guidance and then reject every post other than the one offering a direct donation.
"Resources" and "contacts" are not synonyms for "philanthropist who would be willing to offer me a pot of gold." It's misleading. |
Wow! Just wow! I just reread the entire thread to see where you read this in Ops posts. The answer is, nowhere! Op responded to almost every poster who offered any ideas and said she would check it out and thank you.
She refused to give more details, which she has a right to do. And she mentioned that she already knows about asking family and friends. I'm assuming she tried that and didn't get a great response. Or maybe she's already been taking money from them for a while being that she mentioned she's a single mother and her ex doesn't contribute. Either way, that's her business and she doesn't owe us any explanations.
Op never once asked anybody here for money. All she's asking for are resources and connections.
I don't understand how you can read something like this and not feel compassion in you for this sister of yours who must be desperate. How can you treat someone like this?
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
11
|
|
amother
Slategray
|
Wed, Aug 10 2022, 7:50 am
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | | Yes I did reach out to Rabbi Goldwasser and started going through all the chesed options online. Your help is greatly appreciated!! |
BeH he's hard to reach but an excellent resource for advice, guidance and can direct to different contacts he has.
Yes as a poster wrote best to have had a good connection with a shul - but even if you haven't try to get in touch with a Rav nearby... they are there to help and askanim the Rav can reach out to on your behalf (for financial)...
We're here for you please let us know how you're doing in a week - generally takes time...
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
1
|
|
amother
Viola
|
Wed, Aug 10 2022, 7:52 am
I used to work for a landlord and quite a few times we received lump sum payments for past due rent. They were given by various charities but arranged by JCCRP.
This was a few years ago so I am not sure if they still have this program but worth it to give them a try.
Jccrp.org
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
|
amother
OP
|
Wed, Aug 10 2022, 8:57 am
| amother [ Latte ] wrote: | OP Hashem should give you the koach and the resources to get you to a better place. I was pained for you to read the harsh words from other IMAs as you seem to have done all your research and know your facts. It doesn't appear that you don't want to help yourself - you're being realistic with how much it's physically and emotionally possible for you to do whilst supporting and mothering your struggling children all on your own.
If you're in Monsey I think Kupas Ezra may be of help.
Hatzlacha and keep strong! |
I'm located in BP. Thanks for your kind words.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
|
amother
OP
|
Wed, Aug 10 2022, 8:59 am
| amother [ Powderblue ] wrote: | Wow! Just wow! I just reread the entire thread to see where you read this in Ops posts. The answer is, nowhere! Op responded to almost every poster who offered any ideas and said she would check it out and thank you.
She refused to give more details, which she has a right to do. And she mentioned that she already knows about asking family and friends. I'm assuming she tried that and didn't get a great response. Or maybe she's already been taking money from them for a while being that she mentioned she's a single mother and her ex doesn't contribute. Either way, that's her business and she doesn't owe us any explanations.
Op never once asked anybody here for money. All she's asking for are resources and connections.
I don't understand how you can read something like this and not feel compassion in you for this sister of yours who must be desperate. How can you treat someone like this? |
Thanks for your support! All true... I believe had I been a bit more vulnerable and sensitive, I wouldn't post on Imamother again so quickly. People really have to think twice before posting a negative comment.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
| Related Topics |
Replies |
Last Post |
|
|
Financial Assistance
|
1 |
Thu, Apr 11 2024, 10:34 am  |
|
|
Let's inspire each other!positive/bitachon financial stories
|
10 |
Wed, Apr 10 2024, 3:40 pm |
|
|
How does everyone know who gets financial help for Pesach?
|
19 |
Sun, Apr 07 2024, 3:51 pm |
|
|
Do you restrict your kids food intake for financial reasons?
|
165 |
Fri, Apr 05 2024, 10:36 am |
|
|
[ Poll ] S/o middle class: Financial help poll
|
19 |
Thu, Apr 04 2024, 4:31 pm |
|
|
Imamother may earn commission when you use our links to make a purchase.
© 2024 Imamother.com - All rights reserved
|  |
 |
|
 |
|
|
