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amother
Pewter


 

Post Tue, Aug 09 2022, 8:42 pm
vintagebknyc wrote:
This is really part of the larger problem: the sheer volume of anonymous posts for no actual reason. It's created a huge lack of community where there used to be one


I used to post basically only under my SN. And I'd get PM's regarding comments on threads that were sometimes mean and nasty. So I started posting more amother to protect myself. I still post under my SN plenty, but not in opinionated threads. I don't appreciate PM's, if someone has something to say, they can post it on the thread.
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vintagebknyc




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Aug 09 2022, 8:46 pm
amother [ Pewter ] wrote:
I used to post basically only under my SN. And I'd get PM's regarding comments on threads that were sometimes mean and nasty. So I started posting more amother to protect myself. I still post under my SN plenty, but not in opinionated threads. I don't appreciate PM's, if someone has something to say, they can post it on the thread.


I know that A LOT of people feel this way, and behave accordingly.

This isn't meant to be nasty to YOU at all, really, but the way I see it, this shouldn't be an option. We make promises to behave a certain way here, and then if it gets uncomfortable people break the rules. How is that okay, as a frum Jew, to be breaking the rules? (And again, that is NOT directed at you personally, but the situation as a whole.)
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amother
Pewter


 

Post Tue, Aug 09 2022, 8:50 pm
vintagebknyc wrote:
I know that A LOT of people feel this way, and behave accordingly.

This isn't meant to be nasty to YOU at all, really, but the way I see it, this shouldn't be an option. We make promises to behave a certain way here, and then if it gets uncomfortable people break the rules. How is that okay, as a frum Jew, to be breaking the rules? (And again, that is NOT directed at you personally, but the situation as a whole.)


We're allowed to protect ourselves from bullies. As long as rude posters are being tolerated, I will protect myself from them.
I still post plenty under my SN. But for certain discussions and topics, I go amother. I don't use amother to post rude or mean comments. I use it to protect myself after having bad experience.
I actually looked at the rules now, I don't see any rule regarding amother use. But I do see that the 1st rule is "treat each other's with dignity and respect" keep a civil tone....... which many posters seem to forget and not care about, but are hung up on others posting amother.
Remember, rule #1 is to be civil and respectful.
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#BestBubby




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Aug 09 2022, 8:53 pm
I had one poster repeatedly PM me nasty posts.

Finally, I wrote her back:

Please do not PM me anymore.

Or I will report you.


And she never PM'd me again.
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amother
Nasturtium


 

Post Tue, Aug 09 2022, 8:55 pm
Honestly, I sometimes post a recipe anonymously. I don’t have a strong backbone some days and can’t always handle comments about an unhealthy ingredient I might be using in a recipe. Obviously if I posted that recipe it means I make it so why bother telling everyone that you don’t approve of my ingredients?
I’m a private person by nature so I like to protect myself online.
Obviously it’s mean if someone only goes anonymous when they aren’t being nice.
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amother
Pewter


 

Post Tue, Aug 09 2022, 8:57 pm
This is rule #1:
And probably the most ignored and not enforced rule unfortunately..... we should care more about this rule, than amother usage.
There is no rule in the rules section about amother posts. The new user guide talks about amother usage, but this is rule #1 and we all need to remember it.

1. Treat each other with dignity and respect. All dialogue should be in a polite and civil tone. All members have the right to engage in heated and even passionate debate, as long as you can address issues, not people. Launching personal attacks against another member is unacceptable. Avoid words of incitement. Language meant merely to mock and insult should never be used. Avoid stereotyping and sweeping generalities, such as defining whole groups' behaviour by the behaviour of some. Many types of women are represented on Imamother. You wouldn't want to offend someone inadvertently.
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ShishKabob




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 10 2022, 8:58 am
amother [ Pewter ] wrote:
This is rule #1:
And probably the most ignored and not enforced rule unfortunately..... we should care more about this rule, than amother usage.
There is no rule in the rules section about amother posts. The new user guide talks about amother usage, but this is rule #1 and we all need to remember it.

1. Treat each other with dignity and respect. All dialogue should be in a polite and civil tone. All members have the right to engage in heated and even passionate debate, as long as you can address issues, not people. Launching personal attacks against another member is unacceptable. Avoid words of incitement. Language meant merely to mock and insult should never be used. Avoid stereotyping and sweeping generalities, such as defining whole groups' behaviour by the behaviour of some. Many types of women are represented on Imamother. You wouldn't want to offend someone inadvertently.
This!
However, the people that need these rules are not necessarily going to play by them.
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zaq




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 10 2022, 9:10 am
JenniferK wrote:
Why are you anonymous now?

LOL!
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amother
Fuchsia


 

Post Wed, Aug 10 2022, 9:20 am
I have sometimes mocked anonymously. Mainly positions that I cannot see any sane person support such as crazy conspiracy theories.

I have also mocked people who do not treat others respectfully or seem to be trying to hurt others. (Yes, I am a hypocrite.)
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PinkFridge




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 10 2022, 9:20 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I hear.
I guess my question (or comment) is, it doesn't make it better to be nasty under your screen name. Either way - there's a real person on the other side of the screen.


Some posters are a bit brusque and if they say something under their sn, it doesn't seem as harsh somehow.
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number




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 10 2022, 9:22 am
To me the biggest issue with nasty amother posts is that you can't put amother on ignore. And all amothers have the anonymous post script and the rose and then you need to look to see which color it is. So if an amother is being nasty it's much harder to tune it out.
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PinkFridge




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 10 2022, 9:23 am
amother [ Fuchsia ] wrote:
I have sometimes mocked anonymously. Mainly positions that I cannot see any sane person support such as crazy conspiracy theories.

I have also mocked people who do not treat others respectfully or seem to be trying to hurt others. (Yes, I am a hypocrite.)


Mazel tov, you're human. I might, maybe possibly, have done a "bless your heart" type hug. But it's something I really try not to do. And I wouldn't mock as amother. I might be too timid to post under my sn but I would ask an honest question that would hopefully allow the other party to maintain her dignity in answering.
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number




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 10 2022, 9:23 am
amother [ Fuchsia ] wrote:
I have sometimes mocked anonymously. Mainly positions that I cannot see any sane person support such as crazy conspiracy theories.

I have also mocked people who do not treat others respectfully or seem to be trying to hurt others. (Yes, I am a hypocrite.)
If you really think it's a crazy conspiracy theory, why not mock under your sn? Stand behind your opinions. Those are the exact posts that shouldn't be anonymous.
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Amarante




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 10 2022, 9:43 am
I am not sure this is too far off topic but I truly don't understand some of the anonymous posts when they are posting something completely benign which offers no personal information at all. It is often the equivalent of the "sky is blue".

Theoretically we are all anonymous under our screen names but I get why one might have certain "private" information which one doesn't want to link to even a screen name but sometimes it makes little sense since it is a statement that one would make in person to a casual acquaintance - nothing personal or controversial.
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icedcoffee




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 10 2022, 10:10 am
Amarante wrote:
I am not sure this is too far off topic but I truly don't understand some of the anonymous posts when they are posting something completely benign which offers no personal information at all.


Sorry to continue the tangent but agreed, the anonymous posting is out of control. I completely get it if you're posting something about your relationship, mental health, finances, etc. I even understand if it's something that could be traced back to you like a vacation you took. But it's getting ridiculous when every thread is full of amothers just saying something like "hugs! best wishes to you!" or "that sounds reasonable to me!" or "it's normal for a baby to sleep 2 hours!" The "excuses" people give are that they're afraid of being bashed (who is going to bash you for saying bsha tova?) or they're "used" to going amother, but it's so unconducive to a functioning community. I'm not losing sleep over it, it just strikes me as very absurd that people are so afraid to post "Yehuda is a nice name!" under their screenname.
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amother
Arcticblue


 

Post Wed, Aug 10 2022, 10:15 am
icedcoffee wrote:
Sorry to continue the tangent but agreed, the anonymous posting is out of control. I completely get it if you're posting something about your relationship, mental health, finances, etc. I even understand if it's something that could be traced back to you like a vacation you took. But it's getting ridiculous when every thread is full of amothers just saying something like "hugs! best wishes to you!" or "that sounds reasonable to me!" or "it's normal for a baby to sleep 2 hours!" The "excuses" people give are that they're afraid of being bashed (who is going to bash you for saying bsha tova?) or they're "used" to going amother, but it's so unconducive to a functioning community. I'm not losing sleep over it, it just strikes me as very absurd that people are so afraid to post "Yehuda is a nice name!" under their screenname.


I agree.
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keym




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 10 2022, 10:17 am
amother [ Arcticblue ] wrote:
I agree.


Im sorry. I really couldn't resist.

The truth is that I have several posters blocked.
But if they post anonymously, I can't block them.
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amother
NeonPink


 

Post Wed, Aug 10 2022, 10:36 am
keym wrote:
Im sorry. I really couldn't resist.

The truth is that I have several posters blocked.
But if they post anonymously, I can't block them.


That is their right.
It is their right to have their opinion taken at face value, instead of having people negate it, because they are biased against them, just by the fact that their name is attached.
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keym




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 10 2022, 10:38 am
amother [ NeonPink ] wrote:
That is their right.
It is their right to have their opinion taken at face value, instead of having people negate it, because they are biased against them, just by the fact that their name is attached.


It is not their right to be passive aggressive and low-key nasty, but under amother.
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#BestBubby




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 10 2022, 10:40 am
amother [ NeonPink ] wrote:
That is their right.
It is their right to have their opinion taken at face value, instead of having people negate it, because they are biased against them, just by the fact that their name is attached.


THIS!

I have had people "hug" me for the equivalent of "Yehuda is a nice name".

But I still post under my SN.
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