Is it possible to UNspoil a child?

amother

Mon, Aug 22 2022, 1:21 pm

amother Starflower wrote:

I was going to say this exactly. I know a family who did this with the whole family it's amazing to see the change. The older kids were in their late teens. It's definitely not too late.
Rabbi Brezak is excellent. Definitely worth paying for an initial consultation and you can see if he's a good match for your family.

I just watched a video of Rabbi Brezak on youtube and really appreciate his insights. I see that his programs are available for purchase but they're quite pricey. Have you or others purchased his work and can share their experiences?

#BestBubby

Mon, Aug 22 2022, 1:30 pm

It can be done if your DH is fully on board.

Work on ONE BEHAVIOR at a time - like no disrespect.

Have meeting with kids and explain the new house rules - which are also Torah Commandments.

a. Cannot insult Mommy/Totty - no "crazy" "mean" "I hate you". No sarcasm "You're such a genius" "Duh!"

b. Cannot raise voice to Totty/Mommy

c. Cannot give "orders" to Totty/Mommy - "You have to...." "Give me..." "Bring me...."

Can only ASK requests with a Please. "Please may I have...."

Come up with consequences and rewards.

BE PREPARED to be "Tested" and Know in advance how you will respond!

Important!

You must remain completely calm and not get upset at the disrespect.

Do not yell.

Just say "I am sorry you lost this privilege or toy"

The child will say "I don't care" or tantrum.

Must IGNORE.

But be prepared: What will you do if the child starts wrecking the house to get back at you?

Breaking dishes, dumping out drawers and closets....Calling you even worse names....

People, including kids, do not give up POWER easily.