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Affording a vacation doesn’t mean anything…

 
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amother




OP
 

Post Mon, Aug 15 2022, 2:03 am
I saw a couple of threads today about those who wish they can go on vacation/a nicer vacation etc.
DH and I are using miles to IYH go away for a few days (drivable distance). A close family member was talking to me about booking a resort for her family for this week. I was feeling kind of jealous that not only was she able to book last minute (meaning more expensive), but that she would be going to a beautiful relaxing resort. And then in a follow up conversation she told me she canceled it bc one teen had no interest in going. She then kept me updated about the back and forth with her kids, and I realized that my simple trip that will iyH give me a nice time with my family is so much better then a luxurious trip that half the kids don’t want to go on.
Food for thought. Enjoy what you have…
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imaima




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Aug 15 2022, 4:09 am
Of course kids fight on vacation the same way they fight at home.
It’s just a change of scenery for bickering and an opportunity to participate in conversations about vacations afterwards.
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amother




Puce
 

Post Mon, Aug 15 2022, 4:20 am
I hate to say this but you can't compare going on a shorter, less fancy vacation to not going on any vacation at all. We have not been away for over 4 years.
I'm not jealous of people who can.
I don't care how they can afford it.

But when, in the next breath, they complain of other expenses, I get resentful. I'm working my fingers off to pay the bills, I am very responsible with our spending and we can't afford to get away.

I can also tell you straight off that a change of scenery would definitely ease some of the strain of feeling on top of each other and bored all day and would ease the resentment of my older kids that my special needs kid got to go to camp and they didn't. And if I could take a few days off work to spend with them, that would go a long way as well.
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amother




Eggplant
 

Post Mon, Aug 15 2022, 7:18 am
amother OP wrote:
I saw a couple of threads today about those who wish they can go on vacation/a nicer vacation etc.
DH and I are using miles to IYH go away for a few days (drivable distance). A close family member was talking to me about booking a resort for her family for this week. I was feeling kind of jealous that not only was she able to book last minute (meaning more expensive), but that she would be going to a beautiful relaxing resort. And then in a follow up conversation she told me she canceled it bc one teen had no interest in going. She then kept me updated about the back and forth with her kids, and I realized that my simple trip that will iyH give me a nice time with my family is so much better then a luxurious trip that half the kids don’t want to go on.
Food for thought. Enjoy what you have…


1. Getting away itself is part of the draw of a vacation. Being able to take off work, not have as many demands, and be in "vacation mode" in your brain is what is wanted. And what people complain about. You are going away and getting all that- even if it isnt as fancy.

2. Also, being able to get away is a symptom of a bigger picture issue- financially being able to do that. In most cases, someone who can do that fancy vacation (especially last minute) can also afford cleaning help, takeout once in a while, can afford to not pinch pennies and worry about the plumbing bill or car repair bill...
When people are jealous of someone who is on vacation it is a combination of 1 and 2.
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amother




Fuchsia
 

Post Mon, Aug 15 2022, 8:30 am
Ok and let me tell you the other side.
I don’t know if I am or not going on vacation this year but I just got a cleaning lady after almost double digit years of marriage and working a little less then full time.

How am I paying for it you ask? With a loan! Yes you heard right a loan!

Is that a normal thing to do? No it’s not! But maybe others are stronger then me I can’t be a workhorse for years and not break. So rather then having a mental breakdown which I’m
Very close too I got help for three hours a week and am using a loan to pay it.

You don’t know how people are paying for things. But you also don’t know the gehinnim that some ppl are going through. Believe me my friends don’t know mine.
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amother




Crocus
 

Post Mon, Aug 15 2022, 8:48 am
amother OP wrote:
I saw a couple of threads today about those who wish they can go on vacation/a nicer vacation etc.
DH and I are using miles to IYH go away for a few days (drivable distance). A close family member was talking to me about booking a resort for her family for this week. I was feeling kind of jealous that not only was she able to book last minute (meaning more expensive), but that she would be going to a beautiful relaxing resort. And then in a follow up conversation she told me she canceled it bc one teen had no interest in going. She then kept me updated about the back and forth with her kids, and I realized that my simple trip that will iyH give me a nice time with my family is so much better then a luxurious trip that half the kids don’t want to go on.
Food for thought. Enjoy what you have…


Most of my beautiful relaxing resort vacations that were booked last minute, were booked with..... points!
Flights, hotels and all.

And dh and I prob fought like cats and dogs most of the time we were there, too.
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amother




Pumpkin
 

Post Mon, Aug 15 2022, 8:54 am
amother Eggplant wrote:
1. Getting away itself is part of the draw of a vacation. Being able to take off work, not have as many demands, and be in "vacation mode" in your brain is what is wanted. And what people complain about. You are going away and getting all that- even if it isnt as fancy.
You don’t get any vacation days? That’s awful. Every job I worked gave paid time off. Nothing to do with being rich.
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dankbar




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Aug 15 2022, 9:03 am
amother Puce wrote:
I hate to say this but you can't compare going on a shorter, less fancy vacation to not going on any vacation at all. We have not been away for over 4 years.
I'm not jealous of people who can.
I don't care how they can afford it.

But when, in the next breath, they complain of other expenses, I get resentful. I'm working my fingers off to pay the bills, I am very responsible with our spending and we can't afford to get away.

I can also tell you straight off that a change of scenery would definitely ease some of the strain of feeling on top of each other and bored all day and would ease the resentment of my older kids that my special needs kid got to go to camp and they didn't. And if I could take a few days off work to spend with them, that would go a long way as well.


You can do outings on weekends to places that don't cost money
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amother




Honey
 

Post Mon, Aug 15 2022, 9:04 am
amother Pumpkin wrote:
You don’t get any vacation days? That’s awful. Every job I worked gave paid time off. Nothing to do with being rich.


Many people have to carefully hoard their vacation days to cover Yom Tov.
Yomim Tovim coming up are all weekdays, and my husband has to use 7 vacation days. That doesn't include Erev Yom Kippur or any Chol Hamoed.
Not to mention any in-service days of school, etc.
Many people do not have any paid days off after they take off Yom tov, random school schedule days.
That in of itself is a luxury to be grateful for.
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amother




Buttercup
 

Post Mon, Aug 15 2022, 9:18 am
Barring very unusual circumstances, I think anyone can work it out to get away for a night..you may have to take your kids, you may have to save up over six months, you may have to stick to a cheap Airbnb and parks and sandwiches, but you can do it. I think sometimes pple fall into a trap of thinking they can’t can’t can’t, and almost become comfortable in that role.
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amother




Blush
 

Post Mon, Aug 15 2022, 9:19 am
We just went away for the weekend to a very rundown and unclean place. It’s on nice scenic grounds and my husband enjoys going there (for the scenery and the crowd-not the accommodations). Believe it or not it still cost us a lot!! It was quite an expense. We started going there when we had no money and they let us post date checks. Now BH we paid for it upfront and we’re thankful for that. Sometimes people can go places and pay a little later. It doesn’t have to be gorgeous. It doesn’t have to be expensive and at times it can be paid off slowly. If someone is going somewhere luxurious it possible their credit card is covering the cost for a long while.
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amother




Pumpkin
 

Post Mon, Aug 15 2022, 9:31 am
amother Honey wrote:
Many people have to carefully hoard their vacation days to cover Yom Tov.
Yomim Tovim coming up are all weekdays, and my husband has to use 7 vacation days. That doesn't include Erev Yom Kippur or any Chol Hamoed.
Not to mention any in-service days of school, etc.
Many people do not have any paid days off after they take off Yom tov, random school schedule days.
That in of itself is a luxury to be grateful for.
Not really a luxury. I took a big pay cut to work in a frum place.
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Ema of 4




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Aug 15 2022, 9:34 am
amother Puce wrote:
I hate to say this but you can't compare going on a shorter, less fancy vacation to not going on any vacation at all. We have not been away for over 4 years.
I'm not jealous of people who can.
I don't care how they can afford it.

But when, in the next breath, they complain of other expenses, I get resentful. I'm working my fingers off to pay the bills, I am very responsible with our spending and we can't afford to get away.

I can also tell you straight off that a change of scenery would definitely ease some of the strain of feeling on top of each other and bored all day and would ease the resentment of my older kids that my special needs kid got to go to camp and they didn't. And if I could take a few days off work to spend with them, that would go a long way as well.

You can use miles to book a nice hotel for a week as well. I’m woth OP on this, you don’t know how someone is paying for what you see them doing. Maybe someone else is paying for it. Maybe they’ve been slowly saving up for who knows how long. Maybe they’re using miles.
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amother




Freesia
 

Post Mon, Aug 15 2022, 9:38 am
I’m privileged to spend my summer in the country. yesterday for the first time this summer we made time to go to a state park hiking for a short time. it was magical. I had more vacation in 2 hours than 2 months. It’s not about the time and money you spend it’s quality over quantity. A lot of the magic gets lost on expensive vacations. People things that the more money you throw at something the better it is-not true at all.
Day trips are so much less stressful.
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amother




Mocha
 

Post Mon, Aug 15 2022, 9:40 am
We save up throughout the year and we find cheap accommodations and flights just to get away for a short amount of time. It’s a privilege but something we work hard for. I used to have the mindset of we can’t afford it but if you want/need it badly enough, you figure out a way.
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amother




OP
 

Post Mon, Aug 15 2022, 10:25 am
The person I was talking about can BH afford it.
The point wasn’t even the money- it was the fact that that’s not all what it’s about. The cheap vacation with family that’s into it vs the luxurious vacation with disinterested kids which hurts.
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amother




Puce
 

Post Mon, Aug 15 2022, 3:20 pm
dankbar wrote:
You can do outings on weekends to places that don't cost money


I live in Israel. There are no weekends. School is 6 days a week. My work is 6 days a week. We don't have a car.
Outings cost transport. For a big family that can really add up. If we don't take everyone with, childcare costs.
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amother




Dahlia
 

Post Mon, Aug 15 2022, 3:28 pm
I am currently enjoying a 5 star all inclusive resort in the Carribeans. Both flights and resort were paid for using miles/cc points. My husband knows how to play the cc game..to open cards and get sign up bonuses and then downgrade so we dont keep paying anual fees etc..My daughter is old enough to watch the younger ones not in sleepaway..point is that vacations can be free if you know how to play the game..
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amother




Mulberry
 

Post Mon, Aug 15 2022, 3:38 pm
We are very unwealthy and have managed a small summer getway for 2 days even when we had no money. Because getting away was essential for my mental health and cheaper than paying for therapy or a psych hospitalization ch"v.

Some of our trips:

Cheap flights to my parents, spent 1-2 weeks there. No expenses other than the flight.
Drive from NYC to Montreal to spend shabbos with family, and a stop in Lake George on the way back. (Did some fun stuff, no hotel stay).
Trip to CT. Went to Mystic and a few other nice spots. Rented a car, spent the night in a cheap motel.
This year our big splurge was to Lancaster, PA. Went to Dutch Wonderland, spent the night in a motel, stopped for pizza on the way back.
These trips cost us between $300-400. Yes I know even that amount of money could be out of reach for some families. I put it on CC if I had to.
And I'm not going to excuse or justify why I had to get away. You do what you have to do.
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amother




Blush
 

Post Mon, Aug 15 2022, 5:12 pm
I think op was saying that cheap vacations are sometimes nicer than expensive ones
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