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My dd talks of suicide (depression and anxiety and OCD)
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amother




OP
 

Post Mon, Aug 15 2022, 3:30 pm
I'm so overwhelmed by it and unsure how to help her. it's been going on long while and we keep waiting for things to get better (and some has like the OCD habits and less depressed days) but when she talks of ending her life I'm besides myself. I try to stay calm etc but inevitably cry which makes her want to hide things from me (we are very close and she adores me). she's been on meds for over 6 mths and things seem better but there's still the thoughts of "I would be better off to just end it ".
she has self harmed multiple times.
I don't know where to turn. should I continue meds? change them? take another opinion...insist she sees a therapist (she doesn't feel they help)
I'm lost.
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amother




Maize
 

Post Mon, Aug 15 2022, 3:42 pm
She needs a competency and licensed therapist and psychiatrist ASAP. And these are the professionals you turn to.

This is not something you just wait out.

I’m sure ladies here can give you referrals. Or call Amudim. They can help you find the right licensed professionals to help your family.
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amother




OP
 

Post Mon, Aug 15 2022, 3:47 pm
she is under a psychiatrist of course. who has prescribed and slowly upped the Prozac. but I know there are other opinions, medications , etc....I just feel like I'm putting all my faith and my dd's life in the hands of this one professional. I'm terrified she's not doing it right, or doing enough....

I also can't find a therapist my dd will talk to.
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amother




Yolk
 

Post Mon, Aug 15 2022, 3:50 pm
OP please please please get her tested for Lyme and co asap. The way she is presenting is classic for severe brain inflammation/autoimmune encephalitis. See if you can get her psychiatrist to rx ivig. To try at home, you can give her ibuprophen and an antihistamine, these work really really well to take down inflammation in the brain.
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amother




Obsidian
 

Post Mon, Aug 15 2022, 4:32 pm
If you are not confident in the psychiatrist then I would say try someone else. I have been to many and they are definitely not all the same good.
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amother




Obsidian
 

Post Mon, Aug 15 2022, 4:33 pm
Very often lithium is prescribed in addition to the Prozac to deal with suicidal thoughts. Maybe ask your doctor about trying that.
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amother




Razzmatazz
 

Post Mon, Aug 15 2022, 4:45 pm
Definitely find her the right help - but make sure you're also supported x
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amother




Mustard
 

Post Mon, Aug 15 2022, 5:30 pm
amother Yolk wrote:
OP please please please get her tested for Lyme and co asap. The way she is presenting is classic for severe brain inflammation/autoimmune encephalitis. See if you can get her psychiatrist to rx ivig. To try at home, you can give her ibuprophen and an antihistamine, these work really really well to take down inflammation in the brain.

Agree
I don't know where you're located but check out holisticchildpsychiatry.com . I don't know if you're in their area or if they work remotely but definitely worth checking out their website to learn more.
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amother




Oleander
 

Post Mon, Aug 15 2022, 6:53 pm
amother OP wrote:
I'm so overwhelmed by it and unsure how to help her. it's been going on long while and we keep waiting for things to get better (and some has like the OCD habits and less depressed days) but when she talks of ending her life I'm besides myself. I try to stay calm etc but inevitably cry which makes her want to hide things from me (we are very close and she adores me). she's been on meds for over 6 mths and things seem better but there's still the thoughts of "I would be better off to just end it ".
she has self harmed multiple times.
I don't know where to turn. should I continue meds? change them? take another opinion...insist she sees a therapist (she doesn't feel they help)
I'm lost.


Residential treatment. It’s 24-hours where they give them a ton of skills. You can’t see one psychiatrist an hour or two a week and see the same benefit.

Insurance covers this.
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amother




Bluebonnet
 

Post Mon, Aug 15 2022, 7:03 pm
She possibly needs an intensive outpatient program. Ask her psychiatrist.
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amother




Linen
 

Post Mon, Aug 15 2022, 7:36 pm
it sounds like symptoms are escalating - any mention of suicide is VERY serious. Some medications can also cause suicidal thoughts in teens, Prozac is one of those medications. It's rare but happens. Please call the psychiatrist's emergency number.

Therapy is a must as well, meds alone are not enough. Get a referral to a therapist first thing.

Please take this seriously... Much hatzlacha! Davening for you and your daughter!
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amother




Yellow
 

Post Mon, Aug 15 2022, 8:16 pm
How old is she? I had this with my 11 year old when he was going through a very difficult time in school.

What I did was hold him and soothe him "I know this is so hard. So so so hard. Mommy is here. One day it will all get better and I need you to hang in long enough to get there."

At another time when she is calm you can remind her of how bad she felt and that therapy can really help her.

Also if she is old enough I would give her the suicide hotline numbers.
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amother




Charcoal
 

Post Mon, Aug 15 2022, 8:17 pm
https://www.skylandtrail.org/adolescent/
Somebody I know recommended this program for a teen girl who was struggling with suicidality and self injury. They supposedly have an axcellent DBT program and accept insurance.
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amother




Zinnia
 

Post Mon, Aug 15 2022, 8:18 pm
YOU need to start therapy ASAP to learn how to manage this on your end.
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amother




Oleander
 

Post Mon, Aug 15 2022, 8:35 pm
amother Zinnia wrote:
YOU need to start therapy ASAP to learn how to manage this on your end.


Residential Treatment includes two sessions of family sessions a week, and the teen will get three sessions a week. They will add group therapy to train the kids on DBT skills as coping mechanisms.

Take action, this is serious. You can deal with "holistic" methods later, now is the time to get her solid treatment and skills.
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amother




Moccasin
 

Post Mon, Aug 15 2022, 9:44 pm
I just read this week something Elissa Epel phd wrote that said there are several meta-analyses that show drugs help the same as any placebo, I was shocked.

If there is any chance that its side effects of the drug I would take her off.

Also watched a video on 9 weird possible side effects of non celiac gluten intolerance. Very eye opening.

I just came across these and figured I may as well share, Idk if it is helpful or not but you could look into it further if you feel stuck.
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amother




Magenta
 

Post Mon, Aug 15 2022, 10:05 pm
cornell Paine Whitney Pscyahtric hospital + ER for evaluation

they will give you a plan

separate meeting for parent for guidance how to rspnd when child is threatening with self harm.

Unfortunately you are not first. many are dealing with it

wishing you calm and easy happy path
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amother




Puce
 

Post Mon, Aug 15 2022, 11:16 pm
Sounds like none of this is backed by science.

amother Moccasin wrote:
I just read this week something Elissa Epel phd wrote that said there are several meta-analyses that show drugs help the same as any placebo, I was shocked.

If there is any chance that its side effects of the drug I would take her off.

Also watched a video on 9 weird possible side effects of non celiac gluten intolerance. Very eye opening.

I just came across these and figured I may as well share, Idk if it is helpful or not but you could look into it further if you feel stuck.
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amother




Moccasin
 

Post Mon, Aug 15 2022, 11:31 pm


It is backed by science. It is just not pop-sci yet.

This video is brand new information from science on depression.
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amother




Lavender
 

Post Tue, Aug 16 2022, 8:30 am
Sounds like me as a teenager - I suffered from anxiety, OCD, and depression for many years and then had lots of suicidal thoughts and was quite close to suicide.

How old is dd?

A few tips based on my own experience.

Medication: Prozac is great for some things. However, OCD in particular is very very very difficult to help with medication, and many medications aren't enough to help it significantly. Prozac is a good starting point, as it can theoretically help depression, OCD, and anxiety, but it doesn't always help any of them and it seems to not be enough for your dd if she is suffering this much. A different SSRI may work better for her, or another type of medication, or a combination of medications. 6 months is enough time to see if it is helping enough - if your dd is suffering as much as you describe (if she has suicidal thoughts, either it isn't helping or it is causing the suicidal thoughts as a side effect), prozac may not be the right fit for her and you should raise it with her current psychiatrist and/or get a second opinion. Many people need to try a few medications before finding the right one and that's totally normal.

Most importantly, never stop medication cold turkey or on your own weaning regimen, it can lead to intense suicidal thoughts (I speak from experience, almost killed myself). Stopping and switching medication needs to be done under close supervision of a psychiatrist.

But: Medication itself can be extermely helpful, but on its own it is usually not enough for these problems, especially OCD. Anxiety, OCD, and depression all have behavioral/thought components as well, and using medication alone to just 'fix' the brain without adjusting the behavior won't get rid of her problems on (imagine a diabetic who takes insulin but doesn't change their diet and binges sugary foods all day - they will still have serious blood sugar and other problems regardless of insulin usage). Your dd ALSO needs therapy as well to get through this. Medication is still needed to make therapy effective, so don't just skip medication - both are ideal.

Therapy: Therapy is literally a lifesaver and is needed too, in addition to medication (they can be a winning combination together - medication is needed to make therapy easier when problems are this bad). I totally understand her not wanting to go to therapy, feeling like previous therapists were not effective, etc. I was the same way. First of all, that is actually partially a symptom of depression and/or anxiety - the inability to feel motivated to get help or being too afraid to get help is part of her problems. That doesn't mean you should dismiss it, just the opposite, take it seriously as something she feels she can/can't do. See how you can bring her to the point where she can do it:
- Has she tried therapy and medication at the same time? Tell her medication helps make therapy easier and more effective and ask if she is willing to try both together if she hasn't before
- Has tried certain therapy modalities and found them unhelpful? Tell her you can try a different kind and would she be willing to give it a shot.
- Ask her directly what you can do to help make it easier to go to therapy. Come with her? Don't come with her? Let her 'interview' therapists on the phone? Get recommendations of therapists and she can screen them to choose one?
- Bribe her. I'm not into bribing children, but this is her very survival you are considering. Ask her what bribe will work. Toy, clothing, even pay her to go. Whatever it is, her life is worth the cost.

Find a therapist who is a licensed child psychologist, preferably one who deals with your dd's age group (e.g., child vs. teen), and does CBT.

As for types of therapy that helped me as a child/teenager with these issue:
- CBT - there are lots of kinds which acn help depression, anxiety, and OCD (exposure response is class for anxiety/OCD, inference based therapy is amazing for OCD, etc)
- Relaxation techniques (jacobson progressive relaxation, breathing techniques, etc) and mindfulness
I personally found that a therapist who uses a combination of the above to be most effective. But what helps your dd might be something else, but it is important that the psychologist has evidence-based methods or tools they use.

Good luck, your dd can come out of this and live a full life.
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