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S/O POLL Is Imamother poor?
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How are you doing financially?
Not making it  
 11%  [ 41 ]
Just getting by  
 37%  [ 131 ]
We’re doing okay  
 35%  [ 126 ]
We’re making more than we need  
 14%  [ 50 ]
We’re set up for life (and our kids are too)  
 1%  [ 4 ]
Total Votes : 352



GrowingUp




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Aug 15 2022, 5:35 pm
Just so we can confirm that this is the reality…
Or maybe not?
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hodeez




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Aug 15 2022, 5:38 pm
Hashem should help us all, especially in the present rough economic waters.
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amother




Floralwhite
 

Post Mon, Aug 15 2022, 5:46 pm
So I'm not sure what my answer is, I picked "not making it". Do we have food, yes? Rent? Yes. Money for tuition yes. Money for gas for our car, and utilities, yes. BARUCH Hashem for all of that cuz I know so many people don't even have that! BUT, we have about $13,000 in our bank account. And my husband's salary is 50k. Mine is 24k. Where's all that money? No clue. Are we growing out of our apartment? Yes. Do we need a new dining set? Yes. Our chairs are from my grandparents friends who had the set for like 50 years before they gave it to us. Nails are sticking up through the cushions, and the wicker backs are peeling and splintery. Can we afford that for real? That's at least 2k. And we need a new couch, the seats are all ripped up and it's so small only 2 ppl can fit comfortably. But if we spend on all that, we have less than 10k and that's scary to me!!
This may sound petty, but Im just explaining my answer, whole simultaneously wondering how we're supposedly making 74k but only have so little in our account...
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amother




Coffee
 

Post Mon, Aug 15 2022, 5:50 pm
GrowingUp wrote:
Just so we can confirm that this is the reality…
Or maybe not?

Your poll is still based on peoples perception of their reality.
I feel blessed to have what I do; another woman in my shoes would feel she isn’t making it.
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keym




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Aug 15 2022, 6:23 pm
amother Coffee wrote:
Your poll is still based on peoples perception of their reality.
I feel blessed to have what I do; another woman in my shoes would feel she isn’t making it.


Are you able to pay the negotiated tuition? The mortgage or rent? The electric bill? Can you fill up your car with gas when you need?
Can you buy bread and milk and chicken and fruits a vegetables? Can you buy underwear and basic school supplies?
Then you're making it.
If you can't do that, then no matter what attitude you have, no matter how blessed you are that you can pay some, you're not making it.

If you can pay for all of that plus some wiggle room. Maybe a little bit of cleaning help, an occasional vacation, summer camp for your kids, then you're doing even better. Maybe you feel tight, but ok.

All the good attitude won't cover overdue electric bill, even if you feel blessed that you paid the rent.
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amother




DarkYellow
 

Post Mon, Aug 15 2022, 6:26 pm
amother Floralwhite wrote:
So I'm not sure what my answer is, I picked "not making it". Do we have food, yes? Rent? Yes. Money for tuition yes. Money for gas for our car, and utilities, yes. BARUCH Hashem for all of that cuz I know so many people don't even have that! BUT, we have about $13,000 in our bank account. And my husband's salary is 50k. Mine is 24k. Where's all that money? No clue. Are we growing out of our apartment? Yes. Do we need a new dining set? Yes. Our chairs are from my grandparents friends who had the set for like 50 years before they gave it to us. Nails are sticking up through the cushions, and the wicker backs are peeling and splintery. Can we afford that for real? That's at least 2k. And we need a new couch, the seats are all ripped up and it's so small only 2 ppl can fit comfortably. But if we spend on all that, we have less than 10k and that's scary to me!!
This may sound petty, but Im just explaining my answer, whole simultaneously wondering how we're supposedly making 74k but only have so little in our account...


13k in the account sounds nice! We only have 5k in there in the 2 days between payday and when the mortgage goes out.
BH we’re making it barely. The money in and money out are pretty close. I work extra hours a few times a year to get the money for cleaning help since there’s no space for it in the regular budget. No vacations. Most of our furniture is second hand, or at most ikea.
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amother




Cyclamen
 

Post Mon, Aug 15 2022, 6:29 pm
We’re doing ok BH in large part due to programs and if/when Covid extensions expire it would be tough. So I’m not sure if we are poor lol
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amother




Cyclamen
 

Post Mon, Aug 15 2022, 6:30 pm
amother Floralwhite wrote:
So I'm not sure what my answer is, I picked "not making it". Do we have food, yes? Rent? Yes. Money for tuition yes. Money for gas for our car, and utilities, yes. BARUCH Hashem for all of that cuz I know so many people don't even have that! BUT, we have about $13,000 in our bank account. And my husband's salary is 50k. Mine is 24k. Where's all that money? No clue. Are we growing out of our apartment? Yes. Do we need a new dining set? Yes. Our chairs are from my grandparents friends who had the set for like 50 years before they gave it to us. Nails are sticking up through the cushions, and the wicker backs are peeling and splintery. Can we afford that for real? That's at least 2k. And we need a new couch, the seats are all ripped up and it's so small only 2 ppl can fit comfortably. But if we spend on all that, we have less than 10k and that's scary to me!!
This may sound petty, but Im just explaining my answer, whole simultaneously wondering how we're supposedly making 74k but only have so little in our account...
It sounds like you have a budgeting issue. Maybe contact mesilah. You should know where your salaries are going.
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justforfun87




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Aug 15 2022, 6:33 pm
amother Cyclamen wrote:
It sounds like you have a budgeting issue. Maybe contact mesilah. You should know where your salaries are going.

74k is very low for a salary when taxes are taken out. I assume they are in NY so it seems they are budgeting incredibly well.
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amother




Apricot
 

Post Mon, Aug 15 2022, 6:36 pm
We were not really making it too well this past year. But hopefully with slight increases in salary, and less tuitions to pay this year I hope we will be able to just get by. Until now we were relying a lot on community chessed and help.
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amother




Cyclamen
 

Post Mon, Aug 15 2022, 6:43 pm
justforfun87 wrote:
74k is very low for a salary when taxes are taken out. I assume they are in NY so it seems they are budgeting incredibly well.
It’s not the amount that’s the issue it’s that they don’t know where the money is going. But you are right they may not be able to do any better either way. It’s just harder when you don’t have a budget and don’t know whether or not you can spend.
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amother




Pistachio
 

Post Mon, Aug 15 2022, 8:04 pm
We’re making it in the sense that we have food, utilities, a place to live, a car, and our kids are in school. I am exceedingly grateful for that, I know not to take it for granted!

But we also have $70k+ in debt and are over $10k behind in tuition. I won’t get into the old furniture, broken items, old shaitel, empty freezers, etc. because those things are lower down on the priority list.

I voted we’re not making it.
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amother




Azalea
 

Post Mon, Aug 15 2022, 8:14 pm
Seeing these numbers, we should be making more than we need, but honestly frum life is so freakin expensive. So I guess I have to choose that we’re doing ok.
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amother




Poppy
 

Post Mon, Aug 15 2022, 8:15 pm
I voted we're doing okay. I'm a SAHM and we spend more than DH makes annually but we have investments that make up the difference so we're not dipping into savings. I joke with DH that since the investments come through my family (real estate deals) using money I inherited that I'm providing a second income without having to go to work and that it's a good thing he married me. Obviously we'd be doing better financially if I was actually working plus getting the investment returns but then we'd have to factor in other costs as well.
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amother




Lawngreen
 

Post Mon, Aug 15 2022, 9:05 pm
Since I can buy groceries, pay tuition, rent, utilities, car, gas, send kids to daycamp, clothing and school supplies etc, I voted we are making it. But I'm living in a basement apartment with 5 children, oldest 2 middle school aged. We desperately need to get out. Almost all our furniture needs to be replaced. Especially beds, couch and dining room table chairs. I'm waiting until we get out of the basement. But housing is sky high. Rent or mortgage is likely to be triple what we are paying now. So our squeaking by is kind of artificial.
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amother




Foxglove
 

Post Mon, Aug 15 2022, 9:07 pm
amother Cyclamen wrote:
It sounds like you have a budgeting issue. Maybe contact mesilah. You should know where your salaries are going.

74k is nothing for a Jewish family.
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amother




Lily
 

Post Mon, Aug 15 2022, 10:33 pm
amother Lawngreen wrote:
Since I can buy groceries, pay tuition, rent, utilities, car, gas, send kids to daycamp, clothing and school supplies etc, I voted we are making it. But I'm living in a basement apartment with 5 children, oldest 2 middle school aged. We desperately need to get out. Almost all our furniture needs to be replaced. Especially beds, couch and dining room table chairs. I'm waiting until we get out of the basement. But housing is sky high. Rent or mortgage is likely to be triple what we are paying now. So our squeaking by is kind of artificial.


Are you me??? Same. Same. Same.
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GrowingUp




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Aug 16 2022, 12:27 pm
keym wrote:
Are you able to pay the negotiated tuition? The mortgage or rent? The electric bill? Can you fill up your car with gas when you need?
Can you buy bread and milk and chicken and fruits a vegetables? Can you buy underwear and basic school supplies?
Then you're making it.
If you can't do that, then no matter what attitude you have, no matter how blessed you are that you can pay some, you're not making it.

If you can pay for all of that plus some wiggle room. Maybe a little bit of cleaning help, an occasional vacation, summer camp for your kids, then you're doing even better. Maybe you feel tight, but ok.

All the good attitude won't cover overdue electric bill, even if you feel blessed that you paid the rent.


This is so well explained.

I’m finding the poll results interesting.

Only 15% are doing well financially with today’s economic issues.

I wonder how this poll would have looked 5 years ago.
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amother




Powderblue
 

Post Tue, Aug 16 2022, 12:53 pm
b"H WE'RE making it, day to day. Always in minus in the overdraft but it ebbs and flows and we're not behind on our rent or bills currently and we do have food in the cupboards. I guess there are different kinds of making it.
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BadTichelDay




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Aug 16 2022, 1:22 pm
It's very subjective and hard to answer.
I was trying to choose between just getting by and doing okay. It depends who and what one compares to.
I mean, we have savings and are about to expand our (small cramped) house. But: we live quite frugally most of the time, eat very simple things during the week, meat or chicken is mainly for Shabbat, we switch the a/c off at times to save electricity.
We have two cars, but one is dented and oldish and the other one is dented, decrepit and really old. I'm wearing a lot of Shein clothing. Most of our furniture is second hand. But we live in Israel, in a place without much social pressure, so that's not a problem.
We definitely make ends meet alright, B"H, and I put a bit back in savings every month, but if one talks about people "doing okay", I'd imagine that means something more glamorous.
So it seems we are somewhere between the two levels. Compared to people who own a mansion and go away on a cruise for Pesach, we are probably poor. Compared to people who can't pay their electricity bill or rent and get evicted, we are rich.

Edited to add, no tuition troubles because our kids are still small and going to DL state schools.

I'm fine with what we have and grateful to Hashem that we get by without lack or distress, though I wouldn't say no to finding or winning a sack full of money, either.
In the end, I voted "doing okay" because I don't want to seem ungrateful. For us, it is really okay.
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