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Child cannot handle being wrong

 
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amother




OP
 

Post Thu, Aug 18 2022, 1:34 pm
DD9 cannot accept any correction, is completely unwilling to discuss anything that she does wrong, cannot handle direction or constructive criticism (even when approached with kindness and love).

What causes this and what can be done about it?
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BrisketBoss




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Aug 18 2022, 1:49 pm
Possibly try commenting on what she does right, and using phrasing like "I wonder what would happen if you tried...?"
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#BestBubby




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Aug 18 2022, 1:57 pm
Read stories about Gedolim and regular people who admitted mistakes.
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#BestBubby




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Aug 18 2022, 1:59 pm
Parents should role model "admitting mistakes".

Explain how admitting mistakes and LEARNING from them makes life BETTER.

Otherwise one just keeps repeating mistakes.

Also, watch training videos where Coaches keep pointing out mistakes of star athletes -
only way to become a CHAMPION is to accept constructive criticism.

Bosses and Teachers also hand out "feedback" and it is a sign of MATURITY to accept.
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amother




Slateblue
 

Post Thu, Aug 18 2022, 2:24 pm
I can't be certain without more details about your child but are there other areas in life that she struggles to be flexible? Is she more of a rigid person?
If so, some children do struggle to adapt to unpredicted circumstances. They need alot of conversations in advance to walk them through things.
They are forceful about sticking to things and doing as was planned...A good social worker can guide you through it to help you communicate on her terms.
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amother




Black
 

Post Thu, Aug 18 2022, 2:43 pm
This is anxiety/ocd/fight-flight/survival mode for us. The only thing that helps is addressing their highly aroused nervous system with biomedical interventions.
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amother




Denim
 

Post Thu, Aug 18 2022, 3:42 pm
Not sure if this has already been said, but try not addressing it in the moment - so she can save face. Gently bring up things at a later date in a very non confrontational way.
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amother




Molasses
 

Post Thu, Aug 18 2022, 4:45 pm
"This is anxiety/ocd/fight-flight/survival mode for us. The only thing that helps is addressing their highly aroused nervous system with biomedical interventions."

My daughter is like this. She also recently started stuttering which I believe is from anxiety. Can you please elaborate on what you mean by biomedical interventions?
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amother




Black
 

Post Thu, Aug 18 2022, 4:58 pm
amother Molasses wrote:
"This is anxiety/ocd/fight-flight/survival mode for us. The only thing that helps is addressing their highly aroused nervous system with biomedical interventions."

My daughter is like this. She also recently started stuttering which I believe is from anxiety. Can you please elaborate on what you mean by biomedical interventions?
Coupled with stuttering it’s most likely brain inflammation from pans/pandas. As was the case with us. One of the biggest markers that treatment was working/that she was having a flare was the ability/inability to be wrong, accept feedback, take gentle criticism, back down from a position, not have to argue back.

Biomedical interventions were supplements to treat anxiety, Craniosacral therapy, homeoapthy, antibiotics to treat infections, anti inflammatories, diet changes to heal the gut because the brain begins in the gut.
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Hashem_Yaazor




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Aug 18 2022, 6:29 pm
Not yet mentioned: work on self esteem
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amother




Indigo
 

Post Fri, Aug 19 2022, 12:40 am
That's from anxiety.
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