Bedtime is hard!

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Post  Mon, Nov 14 2005, 11:31 pm
So why is bedtime so hard?

#1 -- I'm exhausted. I was up a couple of times at night, and by 7 p.m. I'd like to go to sleep myself!

#2 -- the baby is not happy. She sabotaged my clean time. By 7 p.m. I decided to forget clean up time. So everything is all over. I am frustrated.

#3 -- My husband is till at work, working on some urgent project. Did I mention that I am tired and frustrated?

Anyway, I think the main reason is that bedtime turns independent and very busy children into these cuddly little creatures that all of a sudden need to cuddle with Mommy and tell her all about their lives. They are too busy playing to talk during the day. When they are in pajamas, all of a sudden they need to tell me that something happened in school, or that something hurts, or that they really need a drink. They become needy. And the problem is, I can't really cuddle with all of them at the same time. Or if I do, they fall asleep on the same bed instead of their own. Which is what happened tonight.

Just venting. Any insights?
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Post  Tue, Nov 15 2005, 6:08 am
Bedtime can and should be a warm and loving experience for you and your children.
I stagger bedtime, so my toddler and 3 and 4 1/2 year olds go to bed first at about 6.30pm. Then, my 7 year old about half hour later. My 11 year old goes to bed latest, at around 8.30pm.
I read a short story to my boys, and then listen to anything they want to say about their day. I try to spend about 15 minutes with each child before bed, to ensure that they feel happy to go to bed. If they have something that upset them during the day, this is the time for them to talk about it, like a private time between me and them.
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Post  Tue, Nov 15 2005, 11:16 am
Tzivi, how do you make it a private time? What do the other children do when you're talking to one of them? Because if I'm sitting on one of their beds, the other one also gets on that bed and wants me to talk to her. (They are 4 and 2.) And the baby ends up on that bed too, because she cries if I leave her by herself.
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Post  Tue, Nov 15 2005, 12:32 pm
Tzivi, how do you make it a private time?

Good question, Yehudis!
I guess it is as private as possible with a bunch of kinderlach. I guess what I meant what "private" as far as trying to just listen and focus on one child at a time. Usually, I try to get the other kids busy with brushing their teeth or davening or getting dressed, etc, so I can spend 15 quality minutes with each child.
Also, I am bentched, because my husband is usually home at that time. So, even though he is learning during that time, one child might just sit next to (or on him) and be occupied for a few minutes!
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Post  Tue, Nov 15 2005, 9:59 pm
I also stagger it. and my hubby usually at home to help with supper and bedtime..

I am a perfect mommy for the younger 3 but my oldest kid defies me . he makes a mockery of bedtime.... what should I do about it..
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Post  Tue, Nov 15 2005, 10:33 pm
Raizy, what exactly does he do?
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Post  Thu, Nov 17 2005, 2:09 pm
Yehudis, I 'only' have one, but I find that routine helps loads with bedtime. As you say, I am also exhausted by the time bedtime comes so the bedtime routine helps me function on autopilot. It also helps my son, because he knows what is happening and he knows what to expect next. In fact bedtime is the easiest part of the day because of this routine.

I also leave lots of time for the whole bedtime routine.
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Post  Thu, Nov 17 2005, 9:59 pm
he doesnt do!!! he just goes into my stuff. my top forbidden drawer with all kinds of odds and ends. he looks through all my albulms. he colors and draws . I give him pencil adn crayons. he just cant seem to put himselve to sleep. we tried everything bribes rewards. tapes. sometimes it works. I tried sitting with him each and every night... everything...

and this is a baby who we used to put to bed and not hear of again till 12 hrs later......
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