Pls help me think positively

amother

Tue, Aug 23 2022, 2:26 pm

DH and I don't share the same interests when it comes to vacationing.
He likes relaxing in a park, while I like adventure and thrill. I've basically come to terms with it, but every now and then it bothers me.
I have been either pregnant or with a little baby the past few summers, making it impossible for me to do any adventurous activities anyways. Our vacations consisted of parks and zoos.

This is the first summer that I am not pregnant and I'm able to go away for a bit. I really want to enjoy this time because I don't know how soon I'll be able to do this again.
The issue is that DH doesn't want to do all these activities. He thinks amusement parks are immature. He is scared of jet skiing or parasailing. Won't go biking because he says my skirt will go up. We finally settled on a big speedboat tour but now he backed out because he said there will be pritzus.

In the end we're going to go on a boring old boat ride. One that I can do even if I would have a little baby.
I just feel so resentful. I need help to calm down about this because it really isn't such a big deal. I don't want to be a brat about this and make my husband feel bad.

I was thinking of doing these activities with a friend but my friends don't have time.

Thanks for listening Smile

amother

Quince

Tue, Aug 23 2022, 2:40 pm

Could you do even one activity on your own? I really love traveling and adventure so I can imagine if I was never allowed to do any of that but I would feel very stifled. And I would say it is somewhat of a big deal. For someone that really likes adventure and needs it in their life it is very hard to be without it. Yes of course are things that are harder but I think it's okay to feel bad that you're not able to do them. And perhaps if you could just do one really fun activity that would give you a little bit of something to hold on to until the next time.

amother

Powderblue

Tue, Aug 23 2022, 2:47 pm

Why can't you do some separate activities that you would enjoy.

The kind of adventurous activities you like can be done by oneself and still be fun. Your husband is free to chill out in the park while you are gone.

It really isn't fair that he controls the activities to such an extent.

amother

Copper

Tue, Aug 23 2022, 2:53 pm

Married life is about compromise.
Sometimes we do things we don’t like, to please our partners.
It’s sounds like you’ve done your fair share of compromising until now.

It isn’t good for anyone if you keep ignoring your wants.

Do bring it up again and make it happen.

I hate thriller rides and amusement parks.
But I’ve gone with my husband and kids.

He doesn’t need to go on any rides you don’t like, but it is the experience of spending the time together.

You can do a boat ride on a random Sunday off.

amother

Maroon

Tue, Aug 23 2022, 3:26 pm

I would go by myself. Dh is the more adventurous of us and when we go on vacation, I tell him he can have 1 day to do something he would like and I do something else with the kids. He would prefer to do it with someone, but otherwise he won't get to do it.
I don't think marriage means you always need to do things with the other spouse. If anything it's healthy to explore your own interests.