Sheva brachos + gift? UPDATE Cheap sheva brachos menu/prices

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Should we also give a wedding gift if we spend $250 hosting a homemade fancy sheva brachos?

Yes

[ 4 ]

Not needed

88%

[ 52 ]

Other-will explain

[ 3 ]

Total Votes : 59

amother

Wed, Aug 24 2022, 1:33 pm

BH we’ve taken it upon ourselves to host sheva brachos for many of our friends. (early 30s RWMO and many friends are still getting married). I find it deeply meaningful to take care of people when it’s something lots of friends forget about offering with all the wedding excitement and to use our parnassa this way.

We usually have 15-20 people at home at our apartment and spend about $250 for a very nice plated homemade multi-course meal. Occasionally guests will offer to financially contribute (common amongst older singles hosting is to each give ~$10 for a pizza or Chinese takeout sheva brachos, etc.) or if they can bring something I’ll take people up on something small, but not usually money.

We BH cover our needs and wants financially and a good amount leftover, not an ENORMOUS amount. Like make $12k/mo., save $2.5k/mo.

We’ve hosted 3 in the last 3 months and BH made a big siyum as well, and it adds up! I love having it be beautiful though and bringing the couple simcha.

Are we still expected to give a wedding gift on top of this? If we weren’t hosting, I’d probably give $100-$150, something like that. These are mostly very good friends but not best friends. For a best friend we hosted and gave $100.

Thoughts?

amother

Hosta

Wed, Aug 24 2022, 4:51 pm

I have a similar question. But in this case its for a sibling.

It's a lot of money, I would rather give a gift than chip in for a sheva b.

I wonder if they will be upset if we don't give a gift too.

singleagain

Wed, Aug 24 2022, 6:29 pm

I voted, not necessary and then I read the post and if it's a good friend I would say get something cute and small but meaningful like maybe keychains with their new name. Or hooks to hang their keys and by the door. Or you know look at their registry for the stupid kitchen stuff that nobody buys and get them.

You know one or two things a nominal thing. I'm talking about something like less than 20 bucks

I mean again, like if it's a good friend and it's something that you know they would enjoy. That's not crazy expensive. That kind of thing

agreer

Wed, Aug 24 2022, 7:15 pm

It's an obvious no for me.

If you are hosting a sheva brochos, that's because THEY GOT MARRIED. That is the gift.

kenz

Wed, Aug 24 2022, 7:25 pm

I want to know how you manage to host a fancy, multi-course sheva brachos for 15-20 people for $250! Paper goods alone have no be at least $50, and that’s Amazing Savings, no?

amother

Wed, Aug 24 2022, 8:25 pm

kenz wrote:

I want to know how you manage to host a fancy, multi-course sheva brachos for 15-20 people for $250! Paper goods alone have no be at least $50, and that’s Amazing Savings, no?

Checking my receipts...

Paper goods-
Plates-appetizer, main, dessert $16, cutlery $6, cups $4
Plastic serving dishes/platters - $20
3 jugs of water- $6

$46 total

Appetizer:

Mini sweet and sour meatballs (1/4 lb super lean meat pp, 4 lb at $9/lb), Brown sugar $4, white vinegar $1, Soy sauce $6 - $47
Plated with white rice $7

$54 total

Chicken thighs baked with mustard, honey, salt, pepper, garlic powder- $4/lb x 10 lb ($40 total)
Mashed sweet potatoes- Wrapped individually in tin foil and immersion blended- $8 for 6 lb ($8 total)
2 Broccoli kugels- $15 for bodek broccoli cuts, $5 mayo, Eggs $2- ($22 total)
Deli salad- $8 for 4 bags of cole slaw on sale, homemade dressing, $20 of Hod golan turkey, $4 cherry tomatoes, $2 red onion ($34 total)
Rice pilaf- 5 boxes at $3 each ($15 total)

$119 total

Dessert:
2 trays of Dunkin hines brownies- $6 swirled with peanut butter, chocolate sauce drizzled- $3 ($9 total)
Friend brought 4 containers of parve ice cream
Friend brought 2 bags of grapes
2 bottles of moscatos- $30

$39 total

And the grand total is... $258!! Ordered everything incl. paper goods from Evergreen in Monsey, the chicken/meat came from Riverdale Kosher Market because Evergreen was out, and the produce from Target.

I make this menu repeatedly for special occasions- highly recommend.

kenz

Wed, Aug 24 2022, 9:03 pm

amother OP wrote:

Wow, thank you for that extremely detailed and honest answer - I must say, I am impressed! Hats off to you. I just might borrow much of this some day...

amother

White

Wed, Aug 24 2022, 10:27 pm

amother OP wrote:

Thank you for writing out all the details!

essie14

Thu, Aug 25 2022, 1:02 am

We did not get a gift from anyone who hosted or participated in Sheva Brachot when we got married. That was the gift.
ETA: and I wrote a thank you note as such, just like I wrote for all other gifts.

amother

Thu, Aug 25 2022, 12:00 pm

kenz wrote:

Wow, thank you for that extremely detailed and honest answer - I must say, I am impressed! Hats off to you. I just might borrow much of this some day...

My pleasure and please do!

KJP

Thu, Aug 25 2022, 12:50 pm

Agreed, hosting the sheva brachos is the gift. Anyone who hosted one for us did not give a gift.

amother

Celeste

Thu, Aug 25 2022, 12:59 pm

I don't think a wedding gift is a must for you.
Maybe a little cutesy item like Singleagain mentioned.
My siblings made a sheva brachos for us when we got married.
I didn't get wedding gifts from any siblings. We were very grateful for their time and effort they put into the sheva brachos and not even a tiny bit upset that they didn't get us anything.
We keep buying each other little cute, cheap and useful things. A cute blanket for the baby, nice plant for the kitchen...
Life moves on after the wedding...

amother

Hibiscus

Thu, Aug 25 2022, 1:49 pm

OP, that menu looks delicious!

Could you share your recipe for meatballs? Thanks!

amother

Mint

Thu, Aug 25 2022, 4:29 pm

In my personal experience people tend not to think of that as a gift. For example, I have made and delivered anywhere from 2 weeks- 2 months of PP meals to people, and I don’t receive a Ty note for that whereas they are meticulous about sending out Ty notes to anyone who got them baby clothes or something from the registry. IMO, the meals are more valuable. I truly don’t care whether I receive a formal Ty or not. I do it because it’s an area I can be helpful in but answering your question in the way I see it.

agreer

Thu, Aug 25 2022, 5:54 pm

amother Mint wrote:

Yikes. Just because they don't doesn't mean it isn't!

It's still a gift, even if no one says thank you.

amother

Fri, Aug 26 2022, 10:27 am

amother Hibiscus wrote:

OP, that menu looks delicious!

Could you share your recipe for meatballs? Thanks!

Sure! They’re super fattening so I give them away afterwards Smile

https://www.allrecipes.com/rec.....alls/
Skip the onions and breadcrumbs. I cut the sugar some but if you cut too much it tastes weird. Sometimes I’ll also do spaghetti and tomato sauce meatballs instead bc it’s easier and still a crowd pleaser.

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