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Imamother typical & predictable responses

 
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SuperWify




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Aug 28 2022, 4:04 pm
Before you post your problems check out out handy cheat sheet list of solutions. This might save up a lot of time and heartache.

Let’s go:

Shalom bayis problems? Read surrendered wife

Serious shalom bayis problems? Birth control and therapy yesterday

Super serious shalom bayis problems? Divorce pronto

Want to have a baby? Read take charge of your fertility

Kid misbehaving? Check for pandas

Kid not feeling well? Check for pandas

Abusive family? Spectrum of cut them off completely OR on the flip side run to make shalom asap. You pick.

Bedroom issues? Read 5 love languages and mars and Venus in the bedroom

Serious bedroom issues? S.ex therapy

Super serious bedroom issues? Can’t believe you still go to the Mikvah for that j**k

Covid concerns? Just isolate

Question regarding Covid concern? Isolate anyway, don’t bother asking. And vaccinate 5 times.

Not stopping to bleed after baby? That’s life, you bleed after a baby

Can I go to the Mikvah before post partum visit? According to the non-medical consensus on this site, yes you can

Concern regarding DH Judaism level? Don’t be his mashgiach

Can I have many kids and still give them individual attention? According to the majority opinion of Amothers it is not possible sorry.

Should I have another baby? Pick from yes, each child is a huge Bracha OR nooo it’s a terrible idea. Ultimately, it’s your choice.

Which girls high school in Lakewood should I apply to A or B? Apply to A, B and every other school in Lakewood (including every Yeshiva- hey, you never know) if you want a chance of getting in. Also, why did you live from BP without a school option???

What can DH do to make 200k a year he just left Yeshiva? Go to college or win the lottery. Why did he go to Kollel anyway

Your turn. Add to my list.
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Sewsew_mom




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Aug 28 2022, 4:07 pm
Husband ignoring or manipulating you? Call shalom task force.
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Mommy1:)




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Aug 28 2022, 4:12 pm
unhappy in life? don't lose hope, go to therapy
unhappy in your marriage? don't give up, go to therapy
unhappy with friends and family? don't quit, go to therapy
unhappy with your therapist? drop them and find a new therapist
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DrMom




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Aug 28 2022, 4:32 pm
Can't convince your husband to see your perspective about some hot-button issue? Have him speak to a rav who can knock some sense into him for you.
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Living Princess




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Aug 28 2022, 4:37 pm
Vacation 1 hr from Lakewood? The Wave, Deal NJ
Special weekend with DH driving distance from Brooklyn? The Wave, Deal NJ
Anniversary weekend with DH driving distance from 5 Towns? The Wave, Deal NJ
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LittleDucky




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Aug 28 2022, 4:42 pm
Pandas. Because you vaccinated. Because you didnt vaccinate. Lyme. Trump. Liberals. Therapy. Dont go to therapy- see a Rav. Divorce. Birth Control. It's because of your birth control. Homeopathy. Vitamins. Surrendered wife.
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hodeez




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Aug 28 2022, 4:46 pm
We spend too much time on here 😂
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giftedmom




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Aug 28 2022, 4:50 pm
Money
Too little? Get a better job
Too much? Better hide it and not spend it
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relaxation




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Aug 28 2022, 4:54 pm
Call Relief
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zoom




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Aug 28 2022, 5:16 pm
Haha this is hilarious.

Same, same, same.

Did I just write that.
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ddmom




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Aug 28 2022, 5:20 pm
LOL LOL LOL
Funny and...true for the most part!!!
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eisheschayil




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Aug 28 2022, 5:29 pm
Not managing my household
- get cleaning help
But I have no money
- call chesed girls
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PeanutMama




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Aug 28 2022, 5:50 pm
Have anxiety?
Get help 😅

Unhappy where you are living?
Leave

*halacha question*
Pls ask your Rav imamother cant pasken for you
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Stars




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Aug 28 2022, 7:08 pm
PeanutMama wrote:
Have anxiety?
Get help 😅

Unhappy where you are living?
Leave

*halacha question*
Pls ask your Rav imamother cant pasken for you


The last one isn’t satire
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Not_in_my_town




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Aug 28 2022, 8:28 pm
Q: Where can I find a good sheitel macher?
A: Put on a tichel!

Q: Having issues in the bedroom... Help?
A: Intimacy summit!

Q: Having a faith crisis. How do I get over it?
A: Think of all the positive things in life and how rosey everything really is...

Q: Husband frowned at me. What should I do?
A: You poor thing! How dare he disrespect you?!

Q: Hit my husband with a frying pan. How dare he make me so mad?!
A: You poor thing. (Is the pan dented?)

Q: Having shalom bayis issues. Whom should I consult?
A: Rabbi Manis Friedman!
Hiding Wink embarrassed
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DustyDiamonds




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Aug 28 2022, 10:11 pm
SIL was mean to you? It’s her, not you.

Need friends? Go to shiurim or the park!

Need to clean your house faster? There’s already hundreds of threads about household tips!

Soooo tired? Sleep!

How to save money? Don’t buy ready made food, disposables, or clothing- hand me downs abound!

How crazy is it that all the girls need X brand? COMPLETELY ANTI TORAH INSANITY!!! Or, ive never heard of those brands! Or, AliExpress has them for pennies!
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Congresswoman




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Aug 28 2022, 10:13 pm
Stars wrote:
The last one isn’t satire


This is also a predictable response. Yawn.
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PinkFridge




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Aug 28 2022, 10:53 pm
Not_in_my_town wrote:
Q: Where can I find a good sheitel macher?
A: Put on a tichel!

Q: Having issues in the bedroom... Help?
A: Intimacy summit!

Q: Having a faith crisis. How do I get over it?
A: Think of all the positive things in life and how rosey everything really is...

Q: Husband frowned at me. What should I do?
A: You poor thing! How dare he disrespect you?!

Q: Hit my husband with a frying pan. How dare he make me so mad?!
A: You poor thing. (Is the pan dented?)


Q: Having shalom bayis issues. Whom should I consult?
A: Rabbi Manis Friedman!
Hiding Wink embarrassed


Now that made me laugh.
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eisheschayil




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Aug 29 2022, 2:29 am
Mikvah night interferes with family wedding/barmitzvah/ Yom tov/blizzard..what to do?
Answers will range from you must jump through fiery hoops in order to dip on time or the earth may stop spinning on its axis causing the angels to weep to eh just push it off , no biggy.
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Bleemee




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Aug 29 2022, 2:30 pm
Big question here used to be: am I pregnant?
Answer: Go POAS!
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