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Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> Toddlers
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amother
OP
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 Sat, Sep 03 2022, 9:59 pm
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Help me out here. We live in an apartment with people upstairs. They randomly drop things etc which we can hear but generally don’t bother us. There is also a dog who live in the next building over and their doorway is near my kids bedroom window (we’re on the first floor). For the past few months my toddler (aprx 3) starts crying ‘no like it!’ When he hears the dog as he’s going to sleep. Usually I went in, said it’s ok, gave him a kiss, and left. A few weeks ago new neighbors move in who share a wall with my kids bedroom. They were banging things into the wall at abt 10pm. My toddler and my other kids who he shred a room with woke up screaming. My husband went over mad asked them to stop, which they did, but the damage was done. Since then my toddler sobs and cries every night that he doesn’t like the banging or the birds chirping or the dog barking. Any noise from our upstairs neighbors or from outside sets him off. I go in, calm him down, etc. but it’s really getting out of hand. The nights when he is overtired are really bad- he can sob and sob. I can’t stay with him until he falls asleep. What do I do?
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amother
Pink
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Sat, Sep 03 2022, 10:06 pm
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amother
OP
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Sat, Sep 03 2022, 10:20 pm
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We have one. I’ve been raising the sound slowly. Doesn’t help cover each little sound though.
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Window
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Sat, Sep 03 2022, 11:14 pm
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Buy another noise machine. Position them all around the room
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amother
Burntblack
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Sun, Sep 04 2022, 12:41 am
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I would figure out a way to stay with him until he falls asleep, at least a few times. I've done that with my toddler and it's made a huge difference.
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amother
Midnight
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Sun, Sep 04 2022, 5:07 am
Can you get someone to come help you at that hour and hold the little baby?
A 3 year old is a baby, too and he needs his mommy to calm his fears.
Also, telling him it's ok doesn't make the fear go away , it's not ok for him.
Validate that the noises are loud and scary, at the same time reassure him that your there for him.
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amother
Burntblack
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Sun, Sep 04 2022, 8:01 am
| amother Midnight wrote: | Can you get someone to come help you at that hour and hold the little baby?
A 3 year old is a baby, too and he needs his mommy to calm his fears.
Also, telling him it's ok doesn't make the fear go away , it's not ok for him.
Validate that the noises are loud and scary, at the same time reassure him that your there for him. |
I agree with this. You can also hold the baby while you're in the room with your 3 year old. Nurse/feed the baby, or hold while he's sleeping. If the baby needs something, you can get up and leave to take care of it. But you need to be able to parent multiple kids who need you.
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amother
Steel
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Sun, Sep 04 2022, 8:15 am
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make sure not to make the noise machine on the loudest. you dont want to damage their ears chvsh
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amother
OP
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Sun, Sep 04 2022, 8:50 am
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It can take him an hour to fall asleep deeply enough that he won’t notice me leaving. But I have a lot of things to do, and night time is the only time I have. This is not a long term solution.
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amother
OP
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Sun, Sep 04 2022, 8:51 am
| amother Midnight wrote: | Can you get someone to come help you at that hour and hold the little baby?
A 3 year old is a baby, too and he needs his mommy to calm his fears.
Also, telling him it's ok doesn't make the fear go away , it's not ok for him.
Validate that the noises are loud and scary, at the same time reassure him that your there for him. |
I do all that
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amother
Cadetblue
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Sun, Sep 04 2022, 9:09 am
Have you gotten him evaluated for OT?
He sounds extremely sensory. a 3 year old crying at night because of a dark barking or banging sounds like there might be some underlying sensory issues you can work on in therapy
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amother
OP
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Sun, Sep 04 2022, 9:10 am
| amother Cadetblue wrote: | Have you gotten him evaluated for OT?
He sounds extremely sensory. a 3 year old crying at night because of a dark barking or banging sounds like there might be some underlying sensory issues you can work on in therapy |
He doesn’t have any other sensory symptoms.
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AlwaysGrateful
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Sun, Sep 04 2022, 9:15 am
Can you try telling him a social story about a little boy who was scared of noises at night, but then his mommy told him "It's just noises. Noises are okay." and he tells himself that every night now and is so proud that he can go to sleep on my own...
I've found this to be helpful for similar issues. You say the story again and again, keep it very simple, and remind him of the key phrase/mantra when it comes up...
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rachelli66
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Sun, Sep 04 2022, 9:17 am
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OP maybe you can try a fan, it doesn't have to be pointed on him. But it is a sound buffer. Maybe also speak with him during the day about sounds we hear. garbage trucks, birds chirping, neighbors playing , kids biking etc. listen to the sounds during the day and see what he says. ''Hey Yitzi I hear a bee buzzing, a car honking'', I'm not afraid of those things, I can continue to speak with you, or play''. maybe he can learn that we can do things even when we hear sounds. if you think he needs OT that's a different story.
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flowerpower
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Sun, Sep 04 2022, 9:18 am
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Can you get him a stuffed animal to go to sleep with as a companion? One of my “sensory” kids do that.
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amother
OP
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Sun, Sep 04 2022, 9:20 am
| flowerpower wrote: | | Can you get him a stuffed animal to go to sleep with as a companion? One of my “sensory” kids do that. |
He has a teddy bear
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amother
OP
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Sun, Sep 04 2022, 9:20 am
| rachelli66 wrote: | | OP maybe you can try a fan, it doesn't have to be pointed on him. But it is a sound buffer. Maybe also speak with him during the day about sounds we hear. garbage trucks, birds chirping, neighbors playing , kids biking etc. listen to the sounds during the day and see what he says. ''Hey Yitzi I hear a bee buzzing, a car honking'', I'm not afraid of those things, I can continue to speak with you, or play''. maybe he can learn that we can do things even when we hear sounds. if you think he needs OT that's a different story. |
He does notice all the sounds during the day but they don’t bother him as much
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flowerpower
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Sun, Sep 04 2022, 9:29 am
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What about putting on a soft music cd?
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amother
OP
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Sun, Sep 04 2022, 9:51 am
| flowerpower wrote: | | What about putting on a soft music cd? |
That kind of thing will distract the sibling he shares a room with
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