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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Infants
How do I know if my baby is enjoying herself?
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amother
Jean


 

Post Mon, Sep 05 2022, 8:22 pm
amother OP wrote:
thanks Heart I agree Sad

do u mean left for that long with a stranger?

Babies left in a day care/ playgroup setting their cortisol levels rise. It’s hard for a baby to fend for themselves for so many hours. The level of care isn’t the same and she is still a baby.
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amother
Jean


 

Post Mon, Sep 05 2022, 8:23 pm
amother OP wrote:
Ive been home with her the past 3 weeks and while its been nice, its been hard being with her since she is clingy/kvetchy a lot of the time... Sad Im looking forward to going back to work, but at the same time I want to be present for her and not only see her for 4 hours a day before she goes to bedtime...

I hear you. It’s hard. Maybe try to shorten it by a little as it’s a really long day for her.
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SuperWify




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Sep 06 2022, 2:49 am
My 17m old is starting this week with staggered timings. Today we have orientation for 30 minutes. Tomorrow only 2 hours, next day 3, next week will be regular schedule.
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amother
Tangerine


 

Post Tue, Sep 06 2022, 2:59 am
You know your child is in good hands if your child is happy to go in the morning. This is almost always true.
The fact that the teacher has a flip phone should be reassuring as she can actually focus on the kids and not have to worry about sending pics and other distractions yes of course any phone is a distraction but also a necessity.
Also if you want to reassure yourself pop in when she isn't expecting you and check up..
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SuperWify




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Sep 06 2022, 3:02 am
amother Tangerine wrote:
You know your child is in good hands if your child is happy to go in the morning. This is almost always true.
The fact that the teacher has a flip phone should be reassuring as she can actually focus on the kids and not have to worry about sending pics and other distractions yes of course any phone is a distraction but also a necessity.
Also if you want to reassure yourself pop in when she isn't expecting you and check up..


Not always. I have a kid who cries every day and every year no matter the teacher and despite me knowing he was having a good year (from looking in when he didn’t notice, speaking to teacher, getting pictures ect). Some kids are like that.
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amother
Lightpink


 

Post Tue, Sep 06 2022, 4:42 am
amother Jean wrote:
Babies left in a day care/ playgroup setting their cortisol levels rise. It’s hard for a baby to fend for themselves for so many hours. The level of care isn’t the same and she is still a baby.


I’m not sure my kid is more stressed at daycare where she’s the biggest kid in the room with dedicated caregivers VS at home where her big sisters attack her as their favorite toy while I try to work
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amother
Lightpink


 

Post Tue, Sep 06 2022, 4:45 am
amother OP wrote:
Im still not sure if I want to send on fridays because Im not sure if im working fridays yet. If I dont work, I dont know if I should still send her for 3 hours so I can have alone time.


Think about what she’ll be doing when she’s home on Fridays. If you’ll be ignoring her to cook for shabbos or run around doing errands, she may be better off at daycare where there’s structure and play. If you’re able to really focus on her , then it may be worth keeping her home.
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shabbatiscoming




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Sep 06 2022, 4:48 am
amother OP wrote:
How do I know if my daughter likes her morah? She doesnt talk yet so she cant tell me.
Im very worried especially since this morah doesnt send pics during the day. She has a flip phone and they send out at the end of the week. My babys last babysitter had an iphone so I would text her during the day "hey hows rochel?"
She is my first.

This morah seems very experienced and organized. But my daughter has never been in a group of 10 before. her babysitter had 5 other kids.

Im so sad to drop her off in the morning. I want to pick her up a few hours early the first week, is this normal? How can I reassure her im not abandoning her?
Dont base your feelings about the ganenet based on that. Just think of all of us who sent our children out to day care before there were smart phones Smile We had no clue at all. And those children, and parents, turned out just fine. Smile

Usually if something is wrong, the ganenet will phone you. You dont have to phone her.
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shabbatiscoming




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Sep 06 2022, 4:52 am
amother Jean wrote:
Babies left in a day care/ playgroup setting their cortisol levels rise. It’s hard for a baby to fend for themselves for so many hours. The level of care isn’t the same and she is still a baby.
Why would you make this first time mother more nervous and worried with such silliness? Im sorry but a baby in good care will not be anxious all day.
Of course the care is different, but if a mother has to work then a baby needs a place to be watched. And hopefully the baby is fine. It takes a bit of time, but please, stop inciting more nervousness for this mother.
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amother
Crimson


 

Post Tue, Sep 06 2022, 8:23 am
If she looks happy when you pick her up, if she is clean and looks taken care of, maybe not right away- but she should seem excited to go to morah and excited to see her little friends

I did an 18 month old group for a few years and although they are still so little- they are toddlers and they love socializing. I had some who cried every single day by drop off the entire year, but I promise they stopped crying after a minute and were so happy the whole day.

7 hours a day sounds like a lot- but im sure they nap still- so its around 4-5 hrs of playing, some of the time they are eating lunch or snack, going outside to play, dancing to music, I would even do projects with them! Read them books, play doh and dot dot paint when theyre a bit older. They can do so much at 17 months old.
10 toddlers with 2 morahs is a great ratio too!
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amother
Mulberry


 

Post Tue, Sep 06 2022, 8:37 am
shabbatiscoming wrote:
Dont base your feelings about the ganenet based on that. Just think of all of us who sent our children out to day care before there were smart phones Smile We had no clue at all. And those children, and parents, turned out just fine. Smile

Usually if something is wrong, the ganenet will phone you. You dont have to phone her.


And if a morah is busy sending pictures of 10 kids to 10 mothers throughout the day, it means that she's not focusing on the children as she should be. It takes time to take and send pictures. A morah sending pictures throughout the day is not on my list of priorities when looking for child care. I don't think it's a good thing.
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amother
Mulberry


 

Post Tue, Sep 06 2022, 8:40 am
amother Jean wrote:
Babies left in a day care/ playgroup setting their cortisol levels rise. It’s hard for a baby to fend for themselves for so many hours. The level of care isn’t the same and she is still a baby.

Naaaa, this is BS.
Anxious mothers, Anxious children. Kids in daycare with good care givers, don't need to fend for themselves. And some kids get more attention in daycare than at home.....
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LovesHashem




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Sep 06 2022, 9:45 am
I've worked in daycares. Most of the people who sent pictures during the day actually neglected the kids the most.

Pictures don't mean anything. Haven't we learned that yet? Go look at Instagram for example.
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amother
Chartreuse


 

Post Tue, Sep 06 2022, 9:58 am
There can be legal problems with taking pictures on phones as well . When I worked with kids in the UK I was strictly told that I'm not allowed to use my personal devices to take pictures of the kids only on the school camera

It's a sensible rule
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amother
Jean


 

Post Tue, Sep 06 2022, 12:03 pm
amother Mulberry wrote:
And if a morah is busy sending pictures of 10 kids to 10 mothers throughout the day, it means that she's not focusing on the children as she should be. It takes time to take and send pictures. A morah sending pictures throughout the day is not on my list of priorities when looking for child care. I don't think it's a good thing.

Agreed!
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amother
Jean


 

Post Tue, Sep 06 2022, 12:05 pm
amother Mulberry wrote:
Naaaa, this is BS.
Anxious mothers, Anxious children. Kids in daycare with good care givers, don't need to fend for themselves. And some kids get more attention in daycare than at home.....

Do your research. Unfortunately this is true. Obviously it depends on the level of quality care your baby has. I’m working with the assumption that home is a good environment with quality attentive care from mom. If a child is neglected at home it’s better for them to be in daycare.
Sometimes we don’t have a choice and must send to daycare, but if we can shorten the hours, it’s much better for the baby.
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