Home
Log in / Sign Up
    Private Messages   Advanced Search   Rules   New User Guide   FAQ   Advertise   Contact Us  
Forum -> Inquiries & Offers -> Israel related Inquiries & Aliyah Questions
I made aliyah with teens AMA
Previous  1  2  3  4  5  Next



Post new topic   Reply to topic View latest: 24h 48h 72h

amother
Honeysuckle


 

Post Tue, Apr 18 2023, 6:11 pm
What was the main reason you decided to make Aliyah?

Do you have any regrets and surprise downsides?

How are you dealing with this terrible wave of terror?
Back to top

francine




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Apr 23 2023, 2:06 am
I'm responding to ALakewoodMother, regarding girl's schools in RBS, I think that these days there are a lot of options for you. Ko Tomar, and Ayelet Hashachar may be good matches. For families that are a bit less yeshivish, I've heard great things about Pninei Chein and Bnot HaRamah. These all have English speakers, and at least three of these schools have English speaking hanhalah. (I'm not sure about Ayelet Hashachar). You can contact me for more inforamtion on these schools as well as one in Yerushlayim that also works with olim, and is quite yeshivish.
Back to top

Reality




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Apr 23 2023, 3:37 am
alakewoodmother wrote:
Hope I'm not beating a dead horse here, but Reality you sound very similar to me. We have been talking about aliyah for as long as I can remember. We always thought we couldn't afford it (like you, we can't even afford a pilot trip) and now (in the last year or so) I gave up my dream because I think my children are too old (a preschooler, two preteens, two high schoolers, and one post high school). So you've breathed new life into my dream of aliyah and I just wanted to ask you a few questions.

First of all you should know that I agree with you, I think in order to be successful you have to move to a community where your children will feel as comfortable as you can make it for them. So rbs really is our only consideration at this point.

1) Can you be more specific with regard to the different areas of rbs (alef, gimmel, daled, etc)? We are a Lakewood family, my husband and I are in our mid-forties, which area do you think would make the most sense to look at.
2) You mentioned that in terms of schools, you have children in both chareidi schools and DL schools, and that you find them hashkafically similar but the dress is different. Trying to figure out where my girls would best fit in. (My boys would definitely need a chareidi school, they are white shirt, black hat). Do you find, in the DL girls schools, that the girls all have access to videos, internet etc. My girls have very limited access to non Jewish videos and almost no access to the Internet. Even at this point my 15 year old complains that her whole class watches more and has more access than her, so I would love to not have to continue those arguments once we would move. On the flip side I'm worried that she'll find the chareidi girls very nerdy or too yeshivish (we are not super yeshivish, I just don't see the need to expose my kids to garbage). So I would love some guidance on what to expect from the different schools.
3) finances:. The real reason we never did this move has always been finances (among other things but finances were the biggest factor). Realistically speaking how much money would a family need to make this move? I know you are going to say it depends what your expectations are. We are not fancy, we do not have a giant house (but we do comfortably fit), we understand that things there are different and we will make do with less. So assuming that we're not looking for luxury but also don't want our kids decrying all the stuff they "could've had" in America, could you give me an estimate as to how much money we would need. (I know sal klita provides some money, but I'm not asking where the money should come from. Just the amount that you think realistically it takes.)


I am always happy to help so no worries about beating a dead horse!

1. Aleph and Hey (nevai shamir) are the two most mixed areas. Obviously, aleph is older and has the most options regarding shopping , schooling etc. But Nvei Shamir has new apartments. People who would love to live in aleph but can't find what they want move to Hey.

Gimmel is more yeshivish and a little younger crowd but there are some families with young teens, not sure about post high school.

Daled is a mix of people from aleph, bet and gimmel looking for cheaper housing. You really need to know the area because you would not feel comfortable living with some people from bet. Unfortunately, there have been numerous incidents of close-minded people not behaving like they should.

2. The girls in the DL schools I know of have access to the internet. There is a huge range in the DL schools but my daughters and their friends are only on whattsapp and not on other social media.

The chareidi girls are not nerdy at all. Overall, the frum DL girls are more "nerdy" because they care so much less about clothes, makeup and fitting in exactly. I was really looking for a school that didn't measure a girls frumkeit just from outer trappings.

You have to understand that an Israeli bais Yaakov has much more in common with a chassidish bais Yaakov than the BY's I sent my daughters too in the US. The girls must wear tights from day one. There are no secular books to read. Everything is censored and all textbooks are chareidi.

I was not ok with that so I needed to look elsewhere. The school I send to has a RWMO parent body and I feel it matches up with our hashkafah much more than a typical Israeli BY. There is one more open-minded BY high school in RBS but they insist on tights still and my girls weren't interested in wearing tights when it's super hot.

Many, many of the BY girls have smart phones at home and flip phones to bring to school. I don't appreciate fakers like that, so that was another turnoff for me.

3. Can either of you keep your American job? That is really the key. We never thought we could afford to move either but once we discovered my DH could work remotely during covid we never turned back. It is really hard for an established family to wing it. You need income right away.

I would only encourage this move for you if one of you can work remotely. On one American salary, you can live ok. I would also make sure your children are on board. We really discussed this with our kids before and they all wanted to come. BH, without ever stepping foot in Israel, their love was so strong. Sometimes I think it was for the best. Israel was in our mind our next destination to live, not just to go on vacation.
Back to top

Iymnok




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Apr 23 2023, 3:51 am
Alakewoodmother:

Your girls sound like they would fit into a regular beis Yaakov in a somewhat laid back community. Nerdy is subjective.
I only know Jerusalem high schools and there is a full range. I don’t know how accommodating any are with language.
Back to top

Reality




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Apr 23 2023, 4:00 am
amother Honeysuckle wrote:
What was the main reason you decided to make Aliyah?

Do you have any regrets and surprise downsides?

How are you dealing with this terrible wave of terror?


We were thinking about moving and when my DH and I talked about different places, we realized the only place we really wanted to move to was Israel.

We have no regrets. This was the best decision we have ever made. The hardest part is moving away from family. I wish our families would make aliyah so we can live near each other again.

Terrorism is hard. When you live here, you really feel every attack. In NY, we felt it too but it's not the same. It is so much more real and close to all of our hearts.

That being said, terror doesn't stop our lives. The first chol hamoed I was here, I told one of my neighbors that because of a recent attack I was feeling nervous to go to the old city and the kotel. She turned to me and said, you can't live like that. If you do the terrorists win. I felt the truth of her statement and we have never looked back. We obviously use our seichel but we don't allow terrorists to stop us from doing what we want to do.
Back to top

queen-b




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Apr 25 2023, 8:30 pm
Thank you for sharing and for opening yourself up! I can relate to a lot of what you wrote. We also thought we would wait until our youngest finished high school and our dream was to retire in Netanya. Covid gave us a wake up call when the Israel borders closed and we realized there may come a time that it won't be so attainable to make aliyah. RBS would have been an easier choice but it was really hard to navigate apartments, schools, which area. We ended up moving to the north (with kids ages 7-20) and really love it. I wanted to share this video that I think would compliment your post. It was made a couple of years ago. I believe the schools are based in RBS but the message can be applied anywhere. https://youtu.be/LsU6Oobj20A
Back to top

yads




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Apr 26 2023, 3:23 am
queen-b wrote:
Thank you for sharing and for opening yourself up! I can relate to a lot of what you wrote. We also thought we would wait until our youngest finished high school and our dream was to retire in Netanya. Covid gave us a wake up call when the Israel borders closed and we realized there may come a time that it won't be so attainable to make aliyah. RBS would have been an easier choice but it was really hard to navigate apartments, schools, which area. We ended up moving to the north (with kids ages 7-20) and really love it. I wanted to share this video that I think would compliment your post. It was made a couple of years ago. I believe the schools are based in RBS but the message can be applied anywhere. https://youtu.be/LsU6Oobj20A



What neighbourhood in the North did you move to?
Back to top

queen-b




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Apr 26 2023, 3:26 am
yads wrote:
What neighbourhood in the North did you move to?


Afula! My kids (8.11.13,16) have had the most warmest welcome. They are the first english speakers in their schools. There are basically 2 charedi choices herer(an ashkenazi chinuch atzmai and sefardi mamach). There are also more modern schools in nof hagalil and haemek which are nearby. The staff is very accommodating. The most important thing is that my kids are happy (and they barely understand the language).
Back to top

amother
Oldlace


 

Post Thu, Aug 03 2023, 7:32 pm
Could you clarify how you navigated the process and timeline of getting your children into schools?
How far in advance of your actual aliyah did you start and what did the process look like. At the time you made aliyah were those arrangements finalized or not until you were actually there?

I know you said that its best if one spouse has remote USD paying job...that wouldn't really work for us because Husband is in chinuch and I work in an office that doesnt (yet at least) have a remote option.

Let's say we have enough saved to cover one year - how much (after rent) would you think is needed for family with 6 kids ages 0-13? Could you share some specifics?

Right now I work almost full time in an office management role that I probably cannot take remote. I would be happy to retrain if there isn't a crazy long timeline for that or try to find another job that could be remote. Any good resources for this that you could share? How did you go about finding a job?

TIA
Back to top

amother
Oldlace


 

Post Thu, Aug 03 2023, 7:47 pm
To clarify where we are holding - in case helpful for any info that you may be able to share.
We are BY in terms of schools ...guess would be considered open minded yeshivish? In the East Coast now but both of us are from out of town...our kids don't watch movies, secular books etc..

Would love to move to EY. I didn't grow up tzioni or even in general really feeling strongly about life and living in EY. It is something that had developed over the last few years....a very strong feeling of wanting to be there and to continue raising growing our family and raising our children there. I don't think that anyone is more holy because they live in EY. There can be holier people who live in Chutz Laretz and less "holy" people in EY. However very inspired to be able to tap into the potential that is there and have my children grow up exposed to the people the torah the mikomos hakedoshos etc..

We have been told by many that we missed the boat in terms of our kids ages but don't want to believe that. Its something we have spoken about with our kids for a few years already ...how speical EY is and how we hope to move there and they are all on board so to speak (as much as kids those ages could understand what it all means anyways).

Realistically dont think would happen before another 2 years but want to be proactive in terms of whatever research and job planning that able to do at this point.

Thanks!
Back to top

amother
Honeydew


 

Post Thu, Aug 03 2023, 9:00 pm
It’s a decision that few regret!

Seems like your looking for a charedi school. For schools, be in touch shortly before Chanukah time for applications. Applications time varies depending on the school and age of child.

Monetarily, if you have enough for one year for rent, you likely may have enough from sal klitah for the rest. The beginning is more expensive though as you figure stuff out. I think if you learn as much Hebrew as you can before coming, secretarial jobs and office managers I see posted a lot. There are a few schools I know looking for English teachers so it’s an option for you husband. Most people that I know have found jobs fairly quickly.
Back to top

amother
Clover


 

Post Thu, Aug 03 2023, 9:11 pm
I've probably posted questions here a few times too. It seems like expenses are really high in Israel and that Israel based jobs pay peanuts. How does anyone make it there on Israeli income???
Were bh doing well financially in America, but wouldn't be able to work remotely. It's so scary to rock the boat, but we really want to move for so many reasons...
Back to top

amother
Vanilla


 

Post Thu, Aug 03 2023, 10:13 pm
What would you recommend if one or more of the kids isn’t really on board?
Back to top

amother
Honeydew


 

Post Thu, Aug 03 2023, 10:27 pm
amother Clover wrote:
I've probably posted questions here a few times too. It seems like expenses are really high in Israel and that Israel based jobs pay peanuts. How does anyone make it there on Israeli income???
Were bh doing well financially in America, but wouldn't be able to work remotely. It's so scary to rock the boat, but we really want to move for so many reasons...


Totally totally disagree. I used to think that until we moved.

Chicken and meat is cheap here. We may under $20 a large few pounds roast. We pay $2.3/pound schnitzel. With the prices everyone is posting here in the USA, Israel is a lot less. Tissues are 4.8 nis for 500. Cereal (through where we get it) is 16 nis a big box and 10 nis a big bag of sugar cereal. So it ranges from a little higher, to a equivalent to a lot less.

We were doing well in the States, we’re doing better here. Both of us took Israeli jobs, my dh’s salary went up a bit and mine down a bit. We’re in tech, but different areas, and our Hebrew was nill when we were hired. We’re here two years.

It’s really scary, I was terrified. Still today, you could never take me back. I could never live in what to me feels like darkness again. It’s still hard but it is worthwhile b”h every single day.
Back to top

amother
Honeydew


 

Post Thu, Aug 03 2023, 10:31 pm
amother Vanilla wrote:
What would you recommend if one or more of the kids isn’t really on board?


This is very individualistic. My oldest wasn’t but we took that risk because she was still young and we knew her and why. She doesn’t even want to visit the States today. You have to know your kids and your abilities. It’s very very hard.
Back to top

shabbatiscoming




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 03 2023, 10:41 pm
amother Clover wrote:
I've probably posted questions here a few times too. It seems like expenses are really high in Israel and that Israel based jobs pay peanuts. How does anyone make it there on Israeli income???
Were bh doing well financially in America, but wouldn't be able to work remotely. It's so scary to rock the boat, but we really want to move for so many reasons...

Of course not all israeli jobs pay peanuts. It deprnds on the feild.
Many many many people make it just fine on isrseli salaries. Not everyone can or even wants, to live on a remote job / salary.
What are your professions?
Back to top

Reality




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 03 2023, 11:04 pm
amother Oldlace wrote:
Could you clarify how you navigated the process and timeline of getting your children into schools?
How far in advance of your actual aliyah did you start and what did the process look like. At the time you made aliyah were those arrangements finalized or not until you were actually there?

I know you said that its best if one spouse has remote USD paying job...that wouldn't really work for us because Husband is in chinuch and I work in an office that doesnt (yet at least) have a remote option.

Let's say we have enough saved to cover one year - how much (after rent) would you think is needed for family with 6 kids ages 0-13? Could you share some specifics?

Right now I work almost full time in an office management role that I probably cannot take remote. I would be happy to retrain if there isn't a crazy long timeline for that or try to find another job that could be remote. Any good resources for this that you could share? How did you go about finding a job?

TIA


The hardest part was finding a school that had space for my kids and was a good match for our kids. I don't remember the exact timeline but all of our kids were accepted pretty quickly. The schools in RBS are very used to olim families and even if you apply after a deadline will try to accommodate you if they still have space.

We planned 18 to 24 months before we actually made aliyah. Not everything was finalized until the last minute. Getting our visas from the Jewish Agency was a real nail biter. There are always last minute technicalities to work out. Finding an apartment was also very last minute and that really was stressful.

Are you willing and able to live small? We live in a typical apartment. Many olim rent very large duplex apartments and their rent is close to double what I pay. Can you live without a car? We save a tremendous amount of money using public transportation and the occasional taxi. So I'm not sure if my numbers will help you but depending on the month, our expenses are between $3,000-$5,000 a month, not including rent.

I found my job through word of mouth. I did get a few interviews from sending out my resume from ads but I didn't get those jobs. I don't get paid particularly well but I have full benefits (pension, paid sick and vacation days etc). We could not live on my salary. If my DH wasn't working remotely we would be unable to pay our bills.

If you have a good skill set, you could get a better paying job. If you are good with computers then you can get a really good job. Your DH being in chinuch is a little harder. Does he have any side jobs/interests that he can try to turn into something?

Don't listen to people who say you missed the boat. If your kids are on board you will be fine. You need to try to figure out your parnasa options and hop aboard!!
Back to top

Reality




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 03 2023, 11:15 pm
amother Honeydew wrote:
Totally totally disagree. I used to think that until we moved.

Chicken and meat is cheap here. We may under $20 a large few pounds roast. We pay $2.3/pound schnitzel. With the prices everyone is posting here in the USA, Israel is a lot less. Tissues are 4.8 nis for 500. Cereal (through where we get it) is 16 nis a big box and 10 nis a big bag of sugar cereal. So it ranges from a little higher, to a equivalent to a lot less.

We were doing well in the States, we’re doing better here. Both of us took Israeli jobs, my dh’s salary went up a bit and mine down a bit. We’re in tech, but different areas, and our Hebrew was nill when we were hired. We’re here two years.

It’s really scary, I was terrified. Still today, you could never take me back. I could never live in what to me feels like darkness again. It’s still hard but it is worthwhile b”h every single day.


Because you work in hi-tech. That's not the reality for the rest of us.

I am talking about a specific type of olim. People like me with established families who have jobs that pay ok in the US but not that ok in Israel. Obviously, not hi-tech.

We would never move back but I'm not going to lie and say my DH and I can get well paying jobs in Israel. Our skill-sets are not well remunerated here. We get around it by my DH working remotely and I took a low paying local job.

Yes, it's not easy working US hours. But honestly, because he works from home we all see him more than we ever did before which we all love. Plus he's a night owl anyway so the hours don't bother him. It's probably harder for me because he's not available to help during the hardest evening hours.
Back to top

shabbatiscoming




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 03 2023, 11:24 pm
But Reality, not all olim have someone working remotely, and they make it as well.
Working remotely is NOT the only way to make it here.
Back to top

juggling




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 03 2023, 11:37 pm
I think one key to being able to live "normally" on an Israeli income, is to re-define normal. If your family is really into creature comforts and you buy the products you're used to from America in your local makolet, food is going to be expensive. If you're a make-from-scratch type and you buy fruits and veggies in season, you may find your food bills aren't so bad. Same with clothing, school supplies, anything. If you're ok with cheap generic products not everything is so expensive. If you buy familiar American brand names at premium prices you may have a hard time making ends meet.
Back to top
Page 4 of 5 Previous  1  2  3  4  5  Next Recent Topics




Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Inquiries & Offers -> Israel related Inquiries & Aliyah Questions

Related Topics Replies Last Post
Never made pesach- how do I clean?
by amother
23 Tue, Mar 26 2024, 8:48 pm View last post
I'm a natural speed reader, AMA
by amother
46 Fri, Mar 22 2024, 12:29 pm View last post
I’m bored 😂 I’m a mom of a SN child AMA
by amother
39 Fri, Mar 22 2024, 5:32 am View last post
I’m the natural mom AMA
by amother
433 Thu, Mar 21 2024, 3:46 pm View last post
Ketamine changed my life for the better AMA
by amother
42 Mon, Mar 18 2024, 9:25 am View last post