Morah Not Helping 2yo Potty Train

amother

Seashell

Thu, Sep 08 2022, 6:21 am

You know, you might have something to learn from those of us who "think our kid needs to beg" before training. Your expectations here are unreasonable. The morah can carry over some things being learned at home, but she can't straight up train like you can. And while occasional accidents are fine and part of the job description, she can't keep up with multiple a day. That's not fair to the rest of the group. And frankly, if multiple accidents are happening, your child isn't as ready as you think he is.

Here's the thing those of us later trainers know: it's a messy process, there's no avoiding that. But if your child is truly ready and it's not just wishful thinking, it'll be over and done with in about 3 days. You can spend an extra 6 months changing diapers or you spend those 6 months cleaning accidents until they get the hang of it for real. At least if you go the diaper route, you're not also cleaning the floor and doing extra laundry.

Also, you need to realize how many skills are involved here. The child needs to recognize the feeling, communicate, have the necessary physical coordination. Then, they need to learn all that for different contexts (school bs home). And that's just day, night is a whole different thing and a different developmental milestone (plenty of kids who day train before 3 find themselves still needing a pull up to sleep at 6). Honestly, you started very young and even if he's doing OK at home, he just might not be able to transfer those skills to school. You need to shelve this a few months and then work around a long break and keep the mora informed.

amother

Opal

Thu, Sep 08 2022, 6:46 am

I am grateful to my child's teacher to this day. She was the one who told me my child was ready and I should take off the diapers. When I expressed concern, she said to just send clothing changes and it would be fine. She was totally right. This school had a bathroom with two little toilets in every classroom, so it was a natural way for the kids to transition to fully trained. It's stressful for the parent, but your child will get there. Some kids need extra support. I remember one little boy wearing pull-ups when he was 4. However, he's now getting married and he's just fine. Those morahs were super helpful, but did it without making too much fuss. He got there when he was ready.

amother

Lotus

Thu, Sep 08 2022, 6:50 am

The Morahs in my preschool are the ones who let me know and push me to start potty training. The school itself has no protocol in place, but there are some very loving and devoted Morahs who just seem to know when their kids are ready. I laugh because my children are ready and the Morahs are ready ... But I'm not! Our ratios are high ... 1:7 I think.

It seems that for them taking a group of children for routine bathroom breaks is easier than figuring out who needs a change. Generally I noticed a lot of people in my community push to train pretty early.

amother

Powderblue

Thu, Sep 08 2022, 12:30 pm

amother Lotus wrote:

At what age though?

amother

Banana

Thu, Sep 08 2022, 12:50 pm

amother Lotus wrote:

And they tolerate many many accidents while training over several weeks?

Or they are skilled and experienced enough to recognize a kid that was truly ready, and when they recommended training they know the child will becteady in a few days.

There are daycares that help train. Just not many. Most will work with you only after the kid is basically trained. If someone is looking for actuql help training that they need to ask before signing up (and good luck finding!).

amother

Seafoam

Thu, Sep 08 2022, 1:05 pm

I have a 2yr old playgroup.
So I've done plenty of toilet training over the last 25 years.
I would never toilet train a child the first week of school. Too many changes. Morah is lucky if nobody's screaming she can't take a kid to the bathroom every hour or even every 2 hours.
I've had kids coming fully trained exactly twice in 25 years!
Truthfully most kids are cranky during toilet training I'm not sure it's fair to the child to do that the first week of playgroup.

amother

Carnation

Thu, Sep 08 2022, 2:15 pm

When my daughter (now 5) was 2 1/2 she was the youngest in her playgroup. She asked to toilet train, but the morah wouldn't work with me until she was trained. It's not her job to drop everything every 45 min to take my daughter to the bathroom. (Not all the kids were trained, maybe only 1/2 were. ) I was working full time and had a baby sitter after her 1/2 day playgroup. My babysitter would take off her diaper and work with her afternoons only. I would work with her weekends. It took longer, but not much, as my daughter really wanted this.

watergirl

Thu, Sep 08 2022, 3:08 pm

I taught two year olds for a few years and three year olds for a few more (licensed daycare) and had children in legal daycares also. If a mother said she was potty training her kid, we said ok, bring in a stack of 10 pairs of underwear, pants, socks, etc. And we just did it. It was never ever the place for the teacher to say no, or say the child is not ready. The parents will figure it out soon enough if the child is really not ready. Suggesting to the parent to stay home from work to train her kid? That would have gotten me fired. As a parent, my kids were all older than 2 years 2 months when they went through this, but no teacher has ever suggested to me to keep my child home until they have it down.

To OP, it really sounds like your child is not ready, and that's totally ok. But this is for you to decide, not the teacher. Just know, if you send your kid to a daycare and the teacher is not supportive, it's not going to work.