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Forum
-> Children's Health
-> Toilet Training
amother
OP
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Thu, Sep 08 2022, 12:55 pm
I want to point out an important point to those that train their children before they are absolutely ready.
Every time a child has an accident, it can hurt them in some subtle and unnoticeable way. In some way no matter how kind you are about it, they get the message that they messed up. Obviously some of it can't be avoided but in general it is important while raising children under the age of 3 or 4 not to place them in situations that they will possibly end up failing. They are too young to express and discuss the feelings of failure and can easily move on with a shiny toy. But it DOES hurt them in a small way causing them to feel badly about themselves and creating insecurities.
I work with young children and can absolutely see the difference in the confidence of children that have more expectations placed on them vs the easygoing moms that don't push for milestones. Obviously as children grow we do push them. But at an older age they are more emotionally developed and can work through it more appropriately.
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amother
Denim
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Thu, Sep 08 2022, 12:57 pm
amother OP wrote: | I want to point out an important point to those that train their children before they are absolutely ready.
Every time a child has an accident, it can hurt them in some subtle and unnoticeable way. In some way no matter how kind you are about it, they get the message that they messed up. Obviously some of it can't be avoided but in general it is important while raising children under the age of 3 or 4 not to place them in situations that they will possibly end up failing. They are too young to express and discuss the feelings of failure and can easily move on with a shiny toy. But it DOES hurt them in a small way causing them to feel badly about themselves and creating insecurities.
I work with young children and can absolutely see the difference in the confidence of children that have more expectations placed on them vs the easygoing moms that don't push for milestones. Obviously as children grow we do push them. But at an older age they are more emotionally developed and can work through it more appropriately. |
I agree with this 100%
I worked in a playgroup and saw many kids so full of fun and happiness and then when they started getting trained too early and making accidents they became so shy and unhappy….
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amother
Teal
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Thu, Sep 08 2022, 1:03 pm
So when do you think one should train?
Playing devils advocate, my youngest is post HS.
She trained before her 2nd birthday, because her friend had a potty and she wanted one too. It took 2 days and she was dry at night and this one never had a bathroom accident in her life. Honestly, I think younger is sometimes easier.
(Although we could not walk into any store without her needing their bathroom-even if she used one 10 minutes ago but was still able to make something. She liked going everywhere, especially when you had to climb through the stockroom)
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amother
Gray
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Thu, Sep 08 2022, 1:03 pm
Totally agree. I wait till 3.5. We go From diapers to undies with no accidents
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amother
OP
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Thu, Sep 08 2022, 1:26 pm
I did not post an age because each child is unique.
The job of a parent is to assess their child and decide if they are ready to be trained with ease. It's based off of many aspects of a child's development be it social, emotional, etc. Some parents may not be sure and that is ok. But if it isn't working it's important to stop and try again at a later date.
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