How to prepare a 3yo for a first sibling bez’H

amother

Sun, Sep 11 2022, 7:20 am

We had some secondary infertility issues and I’m particularly sensitive to the fact that most Mom’s
I know have 18 mo-2 1/2 yr age gaps between their first couple children.

So I am asking here for a broader audience Smile

.

How would you prepare a 3yo for an incoming younger sibling iyh? Specifically for a first sibling, we are expecting our second child iyh winter.

Any recs for books, toys, how to talk to the older child? And timing?

amother

Diamond

Sun, Sep 11 2022, 7:32 am

I had primary and have secondary, so I have large gaps… I hear you.
There’s a book called ‘sharing mommy’s love’ by Hannah Fleshel and another called ‘my new baby sister’ or something like that-by Esti Hess. Can get a doll carriage and doll and a few accessories for your three year old-even if it’s a boy. Then he/she can get used to having their own baby and taking care of their baby while you’re taking care of yours. Can get them a present and give it as special for the baby’s big sibling. Expect jealousy, but can definitely keep strengthening the bonding experience and the privilege of being the older sibling. At that age, I would get doll stuff ready, but would bring up the conversation until a week or two before. They don’t have such a sense of time and it’s a very abstract concept to them since they can’t see the baby.

amother

Sun, Sep 11 2022, 7:49 am

amother Hawthorn wrote:

A bAbby of our own is a really great book

I got this book at around 13 weeks when I was still pretty terrified of loss. It was like a little hope gift for myself and my family and I put it on my closet shelf and didn’t take it out yet.

I felt it might b too concrete for earlier on in pregnancy (mommy’s coming home from the hospital etc) but am wondering when to pull it out. Any advice?

amother

Sun, Sep 11 2022, 7:53 am

amother Diamond wrote:

Thanks for adding on the bit about timing. I figured the time would be difficult for my older kid to wait or understand if I brought it up now. I just want to somehow prepare my older child and was curious as to how and when.

Is there anything I can do now? When do U suggest to get the doll and doll stroller toys?

Just over midway thru pregnancy.

amother

Raspberry

Sun, Sep 11 2022, 7:55 am

My DD will be almost 3 iyh when I have my next one.
I think it's going to be a real struggle for her. She doesn't like it when I hold other babies, and when I ask her if she wants a little baby, she says no.
She doesn't like having to "share" me.
I'm quite nervous, I don't think reading all the above mentioned books will really help her. It's too abstract for her. When her little sibling will enter our family iyh, she probably won't connect it to all those books we've been reading.
She's bright and verbal, but I don't see how I can really prepare her.
I'm planning on getting her some accessories for her own "baby" -doll, like crib, bottle, pacifier... for her to use when I'll be nursing iyh.
I'm ready for a few challenging weeks, but hopefully they'll end up being giggly, loving siblings.
Hatzlacha to you!

amother

Lawngreen

Sun, Sep 11 2022, 8:04 am

My kids are over 4 years apart. My child hated babies and got scared anytime he heard a baby cry. We spoke about the baby the entire third trimester and he was very excited to have a sibling. When the baby was born he had no problem with her bh. Now they play really nicely together.

amother

Lily

Sun, Sep 11 2022, 9:41 am

I just had my 2nd(a boy) a little over a weel ago, and my son was 3years and 2 months. I got him a present from the baby and showed him mommy still here and with you. The hardest part now is I can't carry him.
He is by grandparents being spoiled di tol I am up to having him home with me full time. With yom tov and all coming up a lot of changes I figured keep him there for a bit.
Bh he seems excited to help with the baby so we will see