Affording a new sheital

amother

Sun, Sep 11 2022, 3:55 pm

How do you convince your husband that it's time for a new one? We live oot and a shaitel sale is coming to town. It's been 5 years since I got a shaitel and my other shaitel before that was another like 5 years. I still use both of them but I can tell that one doesn't stay styled as much as before and the other I can tell is much lighter than it used to be. My husband doesn't know the difference. We have our first bar mitzvah coming up next year iy"H and I know that between tefillin and meals/kiddush etc there will be a lot of expenses. I figured that, that would be a good time to get a new shaitel, but I don't know if the sale will come back to my small community. Our finances are very up in the air right now with both of our jobs up for raises, but "life is expensive" right now. Last time I bought a shaitel it wasn't a "Great" time, but in the end it "worked itself out". No I don't need to keep up with "The Cohens" right now, but I want to look presentable. Am I being selfish? Am I being reasonable?

amother

Mayflower

Sun, Sep 11 2022, 4:20 pm

Everyone knows what they need to feel their best. I got my one wig nearly 8 years ago. I need a new one but I'm not hurting without it. There are other things I hurt without and somehow we pay for it. I think for you a wig is important. There is a milestone coming up and you want to look back at the photos and feel proud, not cringe. I say push for it! Daven hard and hashm will help!!
I'll daven that you afford one, you daven that I afford one; we'll both look gorgeous this Yom tov!

amother

NeonPink

Sun, Sep 11 2022, 5:24 pm

I second buying online (a not frum brand) and then getting it cut.
I personally haven’t bought a new sheitel since I got married (12+ years ago). I have gotten a couple second hand ones from people giving them away and I still sometimes wear my original one . Sheitals are rediculously expensive and not the first item on my priority list. I am first saving to replace our 2004 car which keeps stalling on us and to get my daughter braces and other important expenses.
Yes it would be nice if we could afford it and I could choose one that fits perfectly and is the right color but so many people get rid of their sheitals while they are still in great condition .

amother

Apple

Sun, Sep 11 2022, 5:30 pm

amother OP wrote:

I think it depends on your background too.

In my family, everyone got a new wig for her first son's bar mitzvah. It wasn't necessarily the most expensive wig out there, but we felt that as the mom, we need to look good. It totally makes sense to get one now, especially if you haven't gotten one in five years!

It's not keeping up with the Cohens. The Cohens get a new one every year.

amother

Pear

Sun, Sep 11 2022, 5:33 pm

Be careful buying cheap ones online or from China and planning on doing work on them. I find that they oftentimes become even more expensive from all the work you have to do on them and the agmas nefesh of dealing with it is not worth it…personally I would buy from the sale

notshanarishona

Sun, Sep 11 2022, 5:39 pm

In this day and age a sale coming to the community doesn’t have to be a reason to make a expensive purchase. You can always order online or buy one next time you visit in town.
That being said it’s not so much about if you would enjoy it as much as if you can afford it. I am a big believer in not buying something if the money isn’t there even when it means doing without (with the exception of food , utilities, and housing ).

ChutzPAh

Sun, Sep 11 2022, 6:06 pm

Not always a good idea to buy at a ‘sale’. Many times it’s sold ‘as is’ and if there are any problems with it, you have no recourse. Sometimes it’s the pieces they had a hard time selling.
Better to save and by from a reputable sheitel macher in your town if there is one.

amother

Salmon

Sun, Sep 11 2022, 7:11 pm

amother Pear wrote:

This fb group is run by a woman so it's not straight from China. She's the middleman and she sees the pieces in person and even models them for you

amother

Sun, Sep 11 2022, 7:32 pm

Thanks for all of the responses. In the end they didn't have anything I liked. This would have a been a "one-stop-shop"--reputable dealer, cut and style included and significant discount. My previous 2 shaitels were both from sales and lasted me 5 years.

amother

Sun, Sep 11 2022, 8:08 pm

notshanarishona wrote:

I totally hear you, except I don't know what my next opportunity will be. I feel like it will never be "in the budget" so I got to take my opportunity as it comes.

Goldie613

Sun, Sep 11 2022, 8:31 pm

amother OP wrote:

I'm sorry they didn't have anything you liked! I do think that it could be sensible to start keeping an eye out for one now if you think you'll want a new one before the Bar Mitzvah - you can just tell your husband it's a Bar Mitzvah expense, and this way those are stretched out over a longer period of time. (Obviously only if it makes financial sense to buy a new one at all).

The only question in my mind would be if you are willing to put it aside so that it stays new for the simcha, or if you'd be tempted to use it in the meantime (which of course would never be a temptation, LOL) Whistling