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Forum
-> Parenting our children
amother
OP
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Mon, Sep 12 2022, 9:52 am
What are things that you do that help your children feel happy, in spite of not having a 2 parent household?
I'm moving towards this situation, and I'd love to know how to make the transition easier, and also ways to make our home a happy and secure place for them.
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NotInNJMommy
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Mon, Sep 12 2022, 10:01 am
Other than obviously being fed, clean, clothed, sheltered, all people need to feel seen and understood. So, I had focused on having a calm, peaceful environment where we can see/listen to/be with each other. Everyone has feelings, etc. as they go through any change, so it's important to be able to make space for each other--without immediately running to "fix" things. Sometimes what's really needed is making that space, not necessarily "Fixing" anything. You also need to feel secure in yourself and calm because you will set that tone. You might benefit from therapy or support groups (or both).
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amother
Watermelon
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Mon, Sep 12 2022, 11:13 am
Don't wallow and emphasize what you don't have. Make kiddush and havdalah as cheerfully as you can, even if you go cry in the shower afterwards. Things like that will make your kids feel secure. Make it just matter of fact. Abba isn't living here anymore so Ima makes kiddush and hamotzi.
Start fun traditions , maybe a new food for RH that you never had before, like one of Simanim, or something.
You got this, mama! 👊
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amother
Clear
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Mon, Sep 12 2022, 11:24 am
I am not a single parent, but was a teen in one with a single father.
The thing that stands out to me was he really really tried to give me and my siblings his time to talk to us one on one. This made me feel protected and cared for even when he was awkward and made mistakes in other area or just did not have it in his power to help me.
I will note that due to personality conflicts/ challenging situations he was not able to do this consistently with all of us. Some of those kids have tainos still today about that. You can see the difference in how we turned out too.
Not sure if it's a chicken and egg thing though. Those kids were tough. Not sure if he should have pushed through anyway or if it was not possible.
Hotzlocha. It is not an easy ride. I have a lot of admiration for my father.
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